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User Topic: bj after work.... 2010's ea was pa
AppalachianGal
♀ Member
Member # 31672
Default  Posted: 2:07 PM, January 21st (Tuesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I'm reeling. What kind of man am I married to? Again forced into confessing that the ho-worker gave him a BJ after work one day on the side of the road. WHO THE HELL DOES THIS?! The one he swore was just a "friend." My gut wouldn't stop screaming, but I swallowed it (no pun intended). Its still screaming. No way in hell do I believe that was a one-time thing or that nothing else happened. A kiss and a BJ. Right. No remorse this time. He seems pissed that he had to tell the truth. Officially done. 180-ing his ass and told him to GET OUT.


BS (me) 41
WS, 44,
DDay#1- 09/07/2010 secret cell found, constant texting ho-worker. Denies EA/PA
DDay#2- 12/29/2013 ONS (1993) with slut he met at a bar 3 yrs into marriage
DDay#3- 01/21/2014 ho-worker from 2010 involved "one-time BJ."

Posts: 407 | Registered: Mar 2011 | From: TN
scarednbroken
♀ Member
Member # 41961
Default  Posted: 2:26 PM, January 21st (Tuesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Good for you! Hugs!

I will say that my WH does the same with his regular OW. She will not have intercourse with him (which is why e turns to hookers for that) but they do all kinds of other things in his truck. They go to a park, a deserted lot, riverfront, and the cemetery for their fun. (Yes with dead people!!!) he has taken a hooker for a suck n f**k to a marina. There Are no forbidden places....


BS: Me 43 WH: 50 Kids: 13, 15, 17, 28 DD: every yr Ow: tons Status: fed-up. A woman should never invest in a relationship she wouldn't want for her daughter, nor should she allow any man to treat her in a way she would scold her son for

Posts: 413 | Registered: Jan 2014 | From: Midwest
why2008
♀ Member
Member # 18378
Default  Posted: 11:25 PM, January 21st (Tuesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Looking at your sig it looks like you have been through hell.

Are you really through or just angry right now?


Me - BS - 46
Him - WS - 44
Two daughters / 10 and 7

Posts: 4072 | Registered: Feb 2008 | From: Maryland / DC
NeverAgain2013
♀ Member
Member # 38121
Default  Posted: 7:56 AM, January 22nd (Wednesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

No remorse this time. He seems pissed that he had to tell the truth. Officially done. 180-ing his ass and told him to GET OUT.

I was married to a man just like this over 25 years ago. It was ALL about quickie 'hit and runs' - not about romance and affair partners and such. Getting side action with pretty much anyone who'd give it to him was his goal. There was NO lines he wouldn't cross, either.

From your signature line, it looks as though you're living the same 'dream' I was so long ago.

I left.

And never looked back.

Best decision I ever made.

Men like this will ALWAYS cheat. Always.

.

[This message edited by NeverAgain2013 at 7:58 AM, January 22nd (Wednesday)]


Be careful - that 'knight in shining armor' may very well be nothing more than an assclown wrapped in tin foil.
ME: 50+ years old and cute as a button :-)
Ex-WBF: Just a lying, cheating, gravy-sucking pig - and I left him.

Posts: 944 | Registered: Jan 2013 | From: USA
FightingBack
♀ Member
Member # 34770
Default  Posted: 8:25 AM, January 22nd (Wednesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

WHO THE HELL DOES THIS?!

Lots of desperate, needy and sick women who for their own reasons, use this very manipulative act in order to gain power and control.

Of course the recipient is not an "unwilling victim", but unless a man is strong in his convictions as well as in self control, it seems like an easy and widely used manoeuvre on the part of women who need to feel wanted.

The OW knows that a BJ is hard to resist. After work, in a car, or in a secluded spot with a married man, it is not an act of intimacy or love. It is an act of pure manipulation. it is quick and easy but leaves the recipient wanting more.

"here is a sample of what I can and am willing to give you. Now you will desire me"


http://www.survivinginfidelity.com/forums.asp?tid=513607


Me 53
WH 58
Married 25 years
4 children S30,D24, S23,S21
D-Day Nov. 29, 2011
15 year affair with married employee.
Together trying to make sense of it all!

Posts: 658 | Registered: Feb 2012
nowiknow23
♀ Guide
Member # 33226
Default  Posted: 8:30 AM, January 22nd (Wednesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

((((AppalachianGal)))) I'm so sorry, honey.


You can call me NIK

There's always failure. And there's always disappointment. And there's always loss.
But the secret is learning from the loss, and realizing that none of those holes are vacuums.
- Michael J. Fox


Posts: 22579 | Registered: Aug 2011
AppalachianGal
♀ Member
Member # 31672
Default  Posted: 9:59 AM, January 22nd (Wednesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Exactly, FightingBack. Exactly. If I run into her somewhere, it may not be pretty. What a slut. On the side of the road like a hooker. I have been through hell. My sig line doesn't even touch some of it. "hit & run" Yep, that's his style. Needy women, uses for sex, drops like a hot potato. No love, no intimacy, no feelings. And its not like he wasn't getting THAT at home, either!

[This message edited by AppalachianGal at 10:02 AM, January 22nd (Wednesday)]


BS (me) 41
WS, 44,
DDay#1- 09/07/2010 secret cell found, constant texting ho-worker. Denies EA/PA
DDay#2- 12/29/2013 ONS (1993) with slut he met at a bar 3 yrs into marriage
DDay#3- 01/21/2014 ho-worker from 2010 involved "one-time BJ."

Posts: 407 | Registered: Mar 2011 | From: TN
sparkysable
♀ Member
Member # 3703
Default  Posted: 12:07 PM, January 22nd (Wednesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I would be willing to bet that what you have found out about is just the tip of the iceberg. Imagine what you haven't found out about! He will keep doing this and he will not stop.



D-day OW#1 2/2004; R for 6 years; D-day OW#2 5/2010
Marriages that start this way, stepping over the bodies of loved ones as the giddy couple walks down the aisle, are not likely to last.

Posts: 2793 | Registered: Mar 2004 | From: NY
AppalachianGal
♀ Member
Member # 31672
Default  Posted: 10:10 AM, January 23rd (Thursday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I'm sure this is just the beginning, but ya know what? I don't care. Haven't asked about "others." 2 sluts are enough. Once may be a mistake. Twice?? Hell no. I believe with all my heart there was a third for sure. I may not be enough for this @ss, but I AM enough, I have always been enough, and I will be enough for someone else!!


BS (me) 41
WS, 44,
DDay#1- 09/07/2010 secret cell found, constant texting ho-worker. Denies EA/PA
DDay#2- 12/29/2013 ONS (1993) with slut he met at a bar 3 yrs into marriage
DDay#3- 01/21/2014 ho-worker from 2010 involved "one-time BJ."

Posts: 407 | Registered: Mar 2011 | From: TN
AppalachianGal
♀ Member
Member # 31672
Default  Posted: 1:49 PM, January 24th (Friday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

This feels like a nightmare. I am going on the emotional ride from hell. How do we (us BS) ever get through this?


BS (me) 41
WS, 44,
DDay#1- 09/07/2010 secret cell found, constant texting ho-worker. Denies EA/PA
DDay#2- 12/29/2013 ONS (1993) with slut he met at a bar 3 yrs into marriage
DDay#3- 01/21/2014 ho-worker from 2010 involved "one-time BJ."

Posts: 407 | Registered: Mar 2011 | From: TN
sparkysable
♀ Member
Member # 3703
Default  Posted: 2:37 PM, January 24th (Friday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I found out that my XWH was getting BJ's at work. I found this out after we were already divorced, but still, I thought to myself that everything was fine and I'm home sleeping, and he's getting BJ's at work. Who does this? A very fucked up person.



D-day OW#1 2/2004; R for 6 years; D-day OW#2 5/2010
Marriages that start this way, stepping over the bodies of loved ones as the giddy couple walks down the aisle, are not likely to last.

Posts: 2793 | Registered: Mar 2004 | From: NY
sparkysable
♀ Member
Member # 3703
Default  Posted: 2:37 PM, January 24th (Friday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I found out that my XWH was getting BJ's at work. I found this out after we were already divorced, but still, I thought to myself that everything was fine and I'm home sleeping, and he's getting BJ's at work. Who does this? A very messed up person.



D-day OW#1 2/2004; R for 6 years; D-day OW#2 5/2010
Marriages that start this way, stepping over the bodies of loved ones as the giddy couple walks down the aisle, are not likely to last.

Posts: 2793 | Registered: Mar 2004 | From: NY
AppalachianGal
♀ Member
Member # 31672
Default  Posted: 6:03 PM, January 24th (Friday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

He told me more about it. This... person... grabbed him, unzipped his pants, and backed into the open door of her truck, and pushed him down into the seat. I am so f-ing pissed right now. If I see her out somewhere.... But I am not excusing him AT ALL. He could have stopped her! He could have pulled her skank hair out of her head! I said instead you LET HER! If would have been the same had she got naked and climbed on top of him, which in all honestly is probably also what happened. HE WANTED IT! Then the kicker-- he continues a texting, calling, picture sending marathon with her until I find out about the secret phone and her.


BS (me) 41
WS, 44,
DDay#1- 09/07/2010 secret cell found, constant texting ho-worker. Denies EA/PA
DDay#2- 12/29/2013 ONS (1993) with slut he met at a bar 3 yrs into marriage
DDay#3- 01/21/2014 ho-worker from 2010 involved "one-time BJ."

Posts: 407 | Registered: Mar 2011 | From: TN
SadInNC
♀ Member
Member # 42170
Default  Posted: 9:02 PM, January 24th (Friday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I am so mad FOR you right now! No. No. No.

My husband is still holding back truth from me and I have no idea what to believe at this point. I feel for you. It sounds like he has an ongoing problem with this and it will never end. It is not your problem. It is his problem. Too bad that you are the one who has to suffer because of it.

He needs the 180 thing. Yesterday. Try to be strong! We are here for you.


BS/Me WH/Him

"Your value doesn't decrease based on someone's inability to see your worth." -Unknown Wise Person


Posts: 291 | Registered: Jan 2014 | From: North Carolina, United States
AppalachianGal
♀ Member
Member # 31672
Default  Posted: 10:51 AM, January 25th (Saturday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I wouldn't even wish this HELL on the other women. Seriously. I've never hurt this much.


BS (me) 41
WS, 44,
DDay#1- 09/07/2010 secret cell found, constant texting ho-worker. Denies EA/PA
DDay#2- 12/29/2013 ONS (1993) with slut he met at a bar 3 yrs into marriage
DDay#3- 01/21/2014 ho-worker from 2010 involved "one-time BJ."

Posts: 407 | Registered: Mar 2011 | From: TN
CallMeRed1
♀ Member
Member # 36870
Default  Posted: 11:12 AM, January 25th (Saturday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I am so sorry Appalachian but honestly I don't really believe she forced him - I mean you can't force someone to get an erection - if he was resisting it just wouldn't have happened.

I agree with sparky, I don't think he's going to change.

As gently as possible, I really think you should consider your options here.


D-Day 19 July 2012
Me - BS - 42
Status: Divorced

Posts: 173 | Registered: Sep 2012 | From: England
AppalachianGal
♀ Member
Member # 31672
Default  Posted: 1:09 PM, January 25th (Saturday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I know she didn't force him. Its all on him. All of it.

Gah, this is just so lewd and disgusting. But, ya know what I keep thinking?? How sad and pitiful for her that even being on her knees, she couldn't even keep a serial cheater.


BS (me) 41
WS, 44,
DDay#1- 09/07/2010 secret cell found, constant texting ho-worker. Denies EA/PA
DDay#2- 12/29/2013 ONS (1993) with slut he met at a bar 3 yrs into marriage
DDay#3- 01/21/2014 ho-worker from 2010 involved "one-time BJ."

Posts: 407 | Registered: Mar 2011 | From: TN
RidingHealingRd
♀ Member
Member # 33867
Default  Posted: 3:01 AM, January 26th (Sunday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Perfect answer by FightingBack!

The 1st encounter WH had with MOW (ho-worker) was in a secluded parking lot during her lunch hour. She gave him a BJ. The next morning she walked into his office, asked if he liked it and if he would like another.

Answer: Yes.

...and my nightmare began!

[This message edited by RidingHealingRd at 3:47 AM, January 26th (Sunday)]


ME: 53 BS
HIM: 60 WH
Married: 28 years
D'Day: 10/29/10
in R 3.5 years and it's working but he is putting 200% into it (as he should) to make it right again.

The truth hurts, but I have never seen it cause the pain that lies do.


Posts: 1968 | Registered: Nov 2011
SadInNC
♀ Member
Member # 42170
Default  Posted: 8:52 AM, January 26th (Sunday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I never thought of BJ's as a manipulative thing. But after reading Fighting Back's post it makes a lot of sense. For us normal, loving women it is something that we do out of love and for fun with our husbands. We know how much they love BJ's, ladies so I could see how a manipulative, sick bitch would use that to gain control of men.


BS/Me WH/Him

"Your value doesn't decrease based on someone's inability to see your worth." -Unknown Wise Person


Posts: 291 | Registered: Jan 2014 | From: North Carolina, United States
AppalachianGal
♀ Member
Member # 31672
Default  Posted: 8:56 AM, January 26th (Sunday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Oh yes. I can totally see it. Damn. What sick, twisted, broken, sad excuses for women.


BS (me) 41
WS, 44,
DDay#1- 09/07/2010 secret cell found, constant texting ho-worker. Denies EA/PA
DDay#2- 12/29/2013 ONS (1993) with slut he met at a bar 3 yrs into marriage
DDay#3- 01/21/2014 ho-worker from 2010 involved "one-time BJ."

Posts: 407 | Registered: Mar 2011 | From: TN
Topic Posts: 20

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