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Newest Member: conflictedcolleg (44943)

Reconciliation Post Reply     Print Topic    
User Topic: I don't want an asterisk
Exhausted in OH
♀ Member
Member # 34340
Default  Posted: 3:46 PM, January 21st (Tuesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I haven't posted much in a very long time, but as I get farther out, I am needing more insight from R veterans that my well-meaning but clueless "real life" support network can't help with. As background, we are 2+ years out from DDay, almost 15 months from a non-A related (but selfish and wayward like) setback. That fuckup was a real turnaround for us - he had been a "good" wayward up to that point, but the last bit of selfishness and entitlement left us when he had a major reality check. Since then, I can honestly say that our M has been fantastic - pretty much everything I could ask for. But I'm not sure that I won't always feel that we have an "asterisk", like an athlete whose record is tainted. We have a fantastic marriage, a true partnership, a strong physical connection, BUT... *

I just wish I knew how to minimize that damn asterisk. Does it get better?


BS 42(now 45), WH now 46
Married 15 (now 18!), together 22, 3 great kids - 15, 13, 10
DD Sept 2011 - 4mo PA; on DD also admitted to ONS in 2007
R going well
And now I realize...- Me OEA - old college friend
No longer exhausted nor in OH

Posts: 433 | Registered: Dec 2011
Rebreather
♀ Member
Member # 30817
Default  Posted: 3:52 PM, January 21st (Tuesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Yup, it gets better.

You just keep adding new layers around the hurt, good memories, new normal, and you get further and further out to where the hurt on the inside is well insulated. It's there, but becomes less relevant to all that surrounds it.


Me BS
Him WH
2 ddays in '07
Recovering.
"The cure for the pain, is the pain." -Rumi

Posts: 6442 | Registered: Jan 2011
Exhausted in OH
♀ Member
Member # 34340
Default  Posted: 5:01 PM, January 21st (Tuesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Thanks Rebreather
I can handle the feeling for now, I just wish I had a crystal ball into the future. Sigh. I guess, as with everything in this shitstorm, it just comes down to T-I-M-E


BS 42(now 45), WH now 46
Married 15 (now 18!), together 22, 3 great kids - 15, 13, 10
DD Sept 2011 - 4mo PA; on DD also admitted to ONS in 2007
R going well
And now I realize...- Me OEA - old college friend
No longer exhausted nor in OH

Posts: 433 | Registered: Dec 2011
Rebreather
♀ Member
Member # 30817
Default  Posted: 5:09 PM, January 21st (Tuesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I wish I had a better answer!

And it is good to see you.


Me BS
Him WH
2 ddays in '07
Recovering.
"The cure for the pain, is the pain." -Rumi

Posts: 6442 | Registered: Jan 2011
Exhausted in OH
♀ Member
Member # 34340
Default  Posted: 5:11 PM, January 21st (Tuesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Thanks - good to see you too! It's been so long that I'm no longer exhausted nor in OH - merely tired in CA


BS 42(now 45), WH now 46
Married 15 (now 18!), together 22, 3 great kids - 15, 13, 10
DD Sept 2011 - 4mo PA; on DD also admitted to ONS in 2007
R going well
And now I realize...- Me OEA - old college friend
No longer exhausted nor in OH

Posts: 433 | Registered: Dec 2011
Topic Posts: 5

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