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Newest Member: waugh (44311)

Reconciliation Post Reply     Print Topic    
User Topic: why?
MairISaoirse
♀ Member
Member # 41497
Default  Posted: 11:42 PM, January 21st (Tuesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

why does this have to be so fucking hard? why doesn't he just get it? why is he being so damn stubborn? I know he isn't the same man before the A, and its my fault for the most part, but his entitlement and selfishness are making him into a different person. he had an A too, why doesn't he get that? I'm allowed to be angry too. I'm allowed to have deal breakers too.

he is a liar, and I can't trust him, and he isn't doing anything I ask to build that trust. I, on the other hand, used to be a compulsive liar, and I am doing everything under the sun to change that.

i'm so tired of it all


Mad Hatter

Me: 21
Him: 21
Together 2 years
my ONS->1 mo EA abroad

after D-Day BF admitted he had broken NC with EXGF (EA)
D-DAY 11/21/13

In Limbo


Posts: 114 | Registered: Nov 2013 | From: Kentucky
steadfast1973
♀ Member
Member # 24719
Default  Posted: 2:36 AM, January 22nd (Wednesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

What exactly are you holding onto? It doesn't seem like this relationship holds anything positive for you anymore.


Me- 40- BS Him- 36- WH D-day#1 5/25/09 3 mo. EA d-day#2 11/06/13 Prostitute 11/5/13 in R
"I've seen your flag on the marble arch, our love is not a victory march, it's a cold and broken hallelujah."- Leonard Cohen

Posts: 2230 | Registered: Jul 2009 | From: Midwest
Jrazz
♀ Guide
Member # 31349
Default  Posted: 2:44 AM, January 22nd (Wednesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I'm allowed to have deal breakers too.

Are we talking about dealbreakers, though, or grievances?

Regardless of status, Reconciliation only works if both parties are coming to the table with everything they can (at the present.)If you guys are still trying to figure out whose transgression was worse... you're missing the point.

You ARE allowed to have dealbreakers, as is he. So, what are yours? That's where you draw your own line. Figure out what you will accept as a work in progress, and what you can't get past and let that be your guide.


We are what we repeatedly do, excellence, then is not an act but a habit. - Aristotle

Posts: 16447 | Registered: Feb 2011 | From: California
Topic Posts: 3

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