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Wayward Side Post Reply     Print Topic    
User Topic: Not considering the consequences
Jovie
♀ Member
Member # 41956
Stop  Posted: 3:49 PM, January 22nd (Wednesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

It's so frustrating that now, seeing the consequences of my actions all play out, is the first time I really thought about it and considered it as a reality.

And during the A, I just thought everything would be fine as long as I don't get caught.

What goes wrong in a person for them to think like this?!?

There's nothing in the world I want more than to go back in time and change my actions. This decision that was so impulsive and careless is going to haunt me for the rest of my life.


Me - WW, 33
Him - BH, 37
Dday - 12/16/13

Posts: 214 | Registered: Jan 2014
Kap12
♀ Member
Member # 41759
Default  Posted: 4:50 PM, January 22nd (Wednesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Of course we all wish we could go back in time and undo what we did but that isn't possible. So we have to own our actions and start over proving ourselves. It sucks but that is what we have to do.

Posts: 61 | Registered: Dec 2013
LosferWords
♂ Guide
Member # 30369
Default  Posted: 4:55 PM, January 22nd (Wednesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Consequences were a real stepping stone for me, for climbing out of my wayward mindset, Jovie. As waywards, we did what we did despite the consequences - whether we didn't think about them, whether we thought we could avoid them by not getting caught, or whether we knew the consequences and just didn't care.

As frustrated as you are with yourself with your realization that hindsight is 20/20, I think this is something worth digging into a bit deeper. If it surfaces to the forefront of your thoughts at any time, it is worth looking at and examining.

This decision that was so impulsive and careless is going to haunt me for the rest of my life.

What do you think caused you to be impulsive and careless? What frame of mind were you in at the time?

The things you are bringing up in this post and the resulting questions are definitely good points of reference to start doing some additional digging and introspection. Good stuff. Keep at it.


Posts: 7516 | Registered: Dec 2010
WalkinOnEggshelz
♀ Member
Member # 29447
Default  Posted: 5:00 PM, January 22nd (Wednesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

It's still early times. What consequences were you not considering? What do you consider a consequence? I know what I considered consequences has changed pretty dramatically over time. Early on, my "consequences" were very self centered. I wonder if yours might be too when you say
This decision that was so impulsive and careless is going to haunt me for the rest of my life.

Chances are, it will haunt your BH much longer than you. If you do the work necessary, it doesn't have to haunt you. It becomes a part of your history. Something that you have learned from, become stronger from.


Me: WS 42
Him: BH 43(HoldingTogether)
M: 18years, together 22
2 Daughters: 13 and 10
D Day: 7/24/2010; TT to 10/17/10
If you keep asking people to give you the benefit of the doubt, they will eventually start to doubt your benefit.

Posts: 736 | Registered: Aug 2010 | From: Texas
Jovie
♀ Member
Member # 41956
Default  Posted: 5:22 PM, January 22nd (Wednesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Chances are, it will haunt your BH much longer than you. If you do the work necessary, it doesn't have to haunt you. It becomes a part of your history. Something that you have learned from, become stronger from.

Hmm, my thinking was that it will haunt me because I know it will always be in the back of his mind.

This actually really scares me that I will ever become content?, accepting? (not sure of the right word here) of what I did to the point that I will consider it something I learned/grew stronger from.

What do you think caused you to be impulsive and careless? What frame of mind were you in at the time?

I'm dying to get into IC this week because I really feel like I need someone else to guide me through this. We had to reschedule for tomorrow, and I'm just having a terrible day today which is why I'm rambling on about it here. I think I'll make a list of these things, it may help me feel a little bit more in control for now at least.


Me - WW, 33
Him - BH, 37
Dday - 12/16/13

Posts: 214 | Registered: Jan 2014
Topic Posts: 5

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