I married my soulmate 5.5 year ago. My best friend. My endless supply of laughs. In a blink of an eye, I managed to destroy the one person who means so much to me.
I had a month long affair with one of the trainers at the gym I was going to. I knew it was wrong from the beginning. I was in too deep. My H found out back in December when I got drunk and told him I was having an affair and that I couldn't keep lying (they say a drunk person's words are a sober person's thoughts). I didn't fully come clean with everything for about another week - trickle truth. Now, everything is out.
We've decided to stay together and work it out, which I am thankful beyond words.
I immediately stopped all contact with the AP. My H asked me to stop going to the gym. I did. He also asked me to change my phone number and I did that, too. He has full access to my phone email accounts - anything he wants I give to him as I no longer have anything to hide.
It hurts me to see him hurt so badly. I know that I will NEVER feel pain like the pain I have caused him. I, too, am hurt over this. Embarrassed, ashamed, guilty, disgusted with myself and my actions.
I feel like he is defining me by this A. I know I deserved that, but I'm so much more than this A. Our marriage, our relationship is so much more than this A. I fully understand that our marriage/relationship can never be what it once was, but I fully believe it has the potential to be better.
Anyways, thanks for listening...