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Newest Member: whathappensnext (45075)

Reconciliation Post Reply     Print Topic    
User Topic: Trying something new. Serious Mojo needed.
HeartInADustpan
♀ Member
Member # 38341
Default  Posted: 6:58 PM, January 23rd (Thursday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Been awhile since I've posted. Read everyday, but literally have nothing different to say. If I did reply or post a topic, you would have been able to go back in my archives and read the same thing almost verbatim. Nothing new, same thing, same...same...same. I'm in a loop. A very excruciating loop and have been for a lot longer than I've even realized.

I read a ton. I've read every recommended book I've heard on SI. Then I found Transcending Post-infidelity Stress Disorder (PISD): The Six Stages of Healing and there I was in black and white. Now I don't necessarily think it is stemming is entirely from KB, but my previous M to XH#1 which ended because of infidelity. I'm sure I stuffed a lot of that before even meeting KB. He was just the straw that broke my back.

Anyway, I'm off to my first PTSD therapy in 5 minutes. I'm scared. I hate doctors. I hate disclosing stuff to strangers. I hate pills. I hate everything to do with with this. I have to get out of this loop though. I've already taken one xanex and am seriously considering taking another when I get there.

Please SI family...I don't ask for much, but I need some serious mojo.


Just call me Heart. :)
Reconciling
"If you tell the truth, you don't have to remember anything" ~Mark Twain

Posts: 379 | Registered: Feb 2013 | From: St. Louis
Rebreather
♀ Member
Member # 30817
Default  Posted: 6:59 PM, January 23rd (Thursday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I hope this is the ticket, Heart! Good luck.


Me BS
Him WH
2 ddays in '07
Recovering.
"The cure for the pain, is the pain." -Rumi

Posts: 6497 | Registered: Jan 2011
AFrayedKnot
♂ Member
Member # 36622
Default  Posted: 7:01 PM, January 23rd (Thursday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Prayers on their way.


BS 39
fWS 36 (SurprisinglyOkay)
DD DS
A whole bunch of shit that got a lot worse before it got better.
"Knowing is half the battle"

Posts: 2600 | Registered: Aug 2012
unfound
♀ Member
Member # 12802
Default  Posted: 7:08 PM, January 23rd (Thursday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

((heart))

it IS scary, but you won't be in there alone . Mojo coming your way.


ka-mai
*******************
From time to time, I do consider that I might be mad. Like any self-respecting lunatic, however, I am always quick to dismiss any doubts about my sanity. DK

Posts: 14852 | Registered: Nov 2006 | From: mercury's underboob
ILINIA
♀ Member
Member # 39836
Default  Posted: 7:51 PM, January 23rd (Thursday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Here's some more mooooojjjjjoooooo!

Read PISD as well. Personally, the acronym appeals to me because I AM pissed


Entering R slowly and cautiously...

Posts: 472 | Registered: Jul 2013
njgal480
♀ Member
Member # 24938
Default  Posted: 8:04 PM, January 23rd (Thursday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Transcending Post Infidelity Stress Disorder by Dr. Ortman was extremely helpful for me as well.
I was definitely traumatized by the LTA.
IC helped me so much. We addressed the trauma as well as everything else I was dealing with post d-day. I also went to a therapist for EMDR therapy specifically for the PISD.
The first few sessions were a little rough (because you have to delve into your trauma). But it did help me.
Sending mojo your way.


Me- BS
Him- WH
Long term marriage
D-day- Jan. 2007
5 yr. LTA
Reconciled.


Posts: 3163 | Registered: Jul 2009 | From: NJ
AML04
♀ Member
Member # 39682
Default  Posted: 8:21 PM, January 23rd (Thursday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Best wishes Heart!!!


Me-BS Him-WH DS 5/12
Met 2000, Married 2004
DDay 5/26/13, TT through 8/13
2.5 yr EA w/co-worker, PA 12/12 to 4/13
Hopeful for R

Posts: 870 | Registered: Jun 2013 | From: MA
20WrongsVs1
♀ Member
Member # 39000
Default  Posted: 8:36 PM, January 23rd (Thursday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

You know the definition of bravery, right?

Being afraid and saddling up anyway.

You're a courageous woman!


fWW: 42
BH: 52
DDay: April 21, 2013
Sweet DS & fierce DD, under 10
"Between stimulus and response there’s a space, in that space lies our power to choose our response, in our response lies our growth and our freedom." V. Frankl

Posts: 1198 | Registered: Apr 2013 | From: Redneck land
DixieD
♀ Member
Member # 33457
Default  Posted: 8:44 PM, January 23rd (Thursday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Sending you tons of mojo Heart.

I remember feeling exactly the same way. Nervous and untrusting of the medical profession -- they had failed me in so many ways before -- and I was soooo angry that I had to go and do this because of what my husband did!! It was so unfair. My husband's affair was the last straw for me too.

EMDR helped me more than I can say. It was a life-saver for me.

I remember the PISD book too. It is good. However when I got to the part about forgiveness, anger welled up inside of me and I tossed the book across the room. I took that as a sign I was not ready to get that part yet.

Good luck with everything.


Growing forward

Posts: 1767 | Registered: Sep 2011
Skan
♀ Member
Member # 35812
Default  Posted: 8:45 PM, January 23rd (Thursday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Major MOJO for you! And loads of (((hugs)))


Imagine a ship trying to set sail while towing an anchor. Cutting free is not a gift to the anchor. You must release that burden, not because the anchor is worthy, but because the ship is.

D-Day, June 10, 2012



Posts: 4857 | Registered: Jun 2012 | From: So California
HeartInADustpan
♀ Member
Member # 38341
Default  Posted: 9:41 PM, January 23rd (Thursday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Just an update. We talked for almost 1 1/2 hours getting background and such. He thinks I've spent most of my life around too many narcissistic people (DUH!), but was surprised how knowledgeable I was on the "instructional" process of healing from infidelity (thank SI and a dozen books for that. ) He pretty much ruled out depression based on how I explained my cycles and is considering EMDR and Cranial Electrotherapy Stimulation as treatment options right now. I am nervous. I'd like to be optimistic, but...

Thanks for all the MOJO. It helped get me through knowing people who didn't know me from Sam were rooting for me.


Just call me Heart. :)
Reconciling
"If you tell the truth, you don't have to remember anything" ~Mark Twain

Posts: 379 | Registered: Feb 2013 | From: St. Louis
sisoon
♂ Member
Member # 31240
Default  Posted: 8:55 AM, January 24th (Friday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Hang in there, Heart. Healing thoughts on their way to you.


fBH (me) - 70 (22 in my head), fWW (plainsong) - 65+, Married 45+, together since 1965
DDay - 12/2010
Recovered, not yet fully R'ed
I share my own experience because it's the only experience I know, not because I'm a good model.

Posts: 10167 | Registered: Feb 2011 | From: Chicago area
refuz2bavictim
♀ Member
Member # 27176
Default  Posted: 9:14 AM, January 24th (Friday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Sending lots of mojo for the right treatment and healing.


BS:ME DDay: 7/18/09 Last of TT 7/11/10
MOW's EA/PA all were my "friends" but one


Posts: 2372 | Registered: Jan 2010
steadfast1973
♀ Member
Member # 24719
Default  Posted: 9:35 AM, January 24th (Friday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Just bought the book for my ipad.


Me- 40- BS Him- 36- WH D-day#1 5/25/09 3 mo. EA d-day#2 11/06/13 Prostitute 11/5/13 in R
"I've seen your flag on the marble arch, our love is not a victory march, it's a cold and broken hallelujah."- Leonard Cohen

Posts: 2256 | Registered: Jul 2009 | From: Midwest
Skan
♀ Member
Member # 35812
Default  Posted: 5:53 PM, January 24th (Friday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

What a great, long talk for a first session! Can't wait to hear what you have to say after the next session!


Imagine a ship trying to set sail while towing an anchor. Cutting free is not a gift to the anchor. You must release that burden, not because the anchor is worthy, but because the ship is.

D-Day, June 10, 2012



Posts: 4857 | Registered: Jun 2012 | From: So California
Topic Posts: 15

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