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Just Found Out Post Reply     Print Topic    
User Topic: I triggered bad
AndreaL
♀ Member
Member # 41522
Default  Posted: 8:48 PM, January 23rd (Thursday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

So, each day gets a little easier, meaning I'm not an emotional mess that I no longer cry in the grocery store with people staring me. But I have become enraged with the ow. She's a whore!!! I want to run her over. I am the most calm person normally but I am consumed by this slut! I just don't understand people who get involved with married men, I just don't! This woman tried to steal my husband and make him her new baby daddy. I just ache for my children, I can't say I regret marrying him, as I feel that would be like regretting my children, but I am so angry. I uses to be 'normal', now I'm on antidepressants and am seeing a therapist. Is this my new life?

Can someone tell me when they start to feel like a version of their old self? I just want to be me again. I hate that my husband did this to me, and by virtue of HIS choice. Not to me to mention I think he has cracked because he hates himself. I just want to run away and move to a new city.


Me:35
Hubby:38
Kids ages: 2 and 5
Married: 8 years
DDAY: Dec 1 2013
Affair: 2 months EA and PA
Status: Separted. Sigh...I wish I could forgive 😞

Update: attempting to reconcile


Posts: 172 | Registered: Dec 2013 | From: Canada
4everfaithful83
♀ Member
Member # 41761
Default  Posted: 8:58 PM, January 23rd (Thursday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I can totally relate!!

It def. sucks not to feel like yourself! I too sometimes feel like I'm not me. These thoughts usually end in me being even more pissed at my WBF, because he made me this way!

I'm about 7 months from DDAY and I can say that it does get better with time. I realize that sometimes hearing that doesn't help at all because you feel like time is going at a snails pace...but it really does.

I definitely do not feel the same as I did in the beginning, or even a month ago. Every day is a struggle, I have good days and then I have bad days.

Are you guys in MC?


Always know if the juice is worth the squeeze...

ME: 31
WBF: 27
Together 7 years
1 doggie
DDay: June 24, 2013
IN R...


Posts: 565 | Registered: Dec 2013 | From: Pennsylvania
SadInNC
♀ Member
Member # 42170
Default  Posted: 8:58 PM, January 23rd (Thursday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I am with you! I just joined this site and wrote my first post tonight. It's the one "My Husband Cheated when my mother was dying." I am also very angry. I am not on an antidepressant but I went to the doc and she gave me xanax and sleeping pills for the past few weeks. If I could afford a therapist, I would totally go! I'm glad that you can do that. I am still living with my husband but it is literally a roller coaster. You may have chosen the better path. I wish you goodness, healing and truth :)


BS/Me WH/Him

"Your value doesn't decrease based on someone's inability to see your worth." -Unknown Wise Person


Posts: 337 | Registered: Jan 2014 | From: North Carolina, United States
AndreaL
♀ Member
Member # 41522
Default  Posted: 9:03 PM, January 23rd (Thursday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

We are not in MC because I am so angry. I can't even think about reconciling with him. He wants to but I am so angry. I hate him. How did this happen to me?


Me:35
Hubby:38
Kids ages: 2 and 5
Married: 8 years
DDAY: Dec 1 2013
Affair: 2 months EA and PA
Status: Separted. Sigh...I wish I could forgive 😞

Update: attempting to reconcile


Posts: 172 | Registered: Dec 2013 | From: Canada
EB1541
♀ Member
Member # 42143
Default  Posted: 3:15 PM, January 24th (Friday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I am with you. Some days I feel like it would just be easier if I could just forget everything that happened. But i know that won't do any good. Just hang in there. Your life will be what you make it! It's a lot easier said then done.. ((hugs)) I'm sorry you are here.


D-day Jan. 2, 2014
Just married Nov. 3, 2013
My age: 22, his age:26
One wonderful son together - 11 months old

Posts: 87 | Registered: Jan 2014 | From: California
AndreaL
♀ Member
Member # 41522
Default  Posted: 3:39 PM, January 24th (Friday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I'm sorry for all of us 😞 my WS just picked up the kids to take them for an early dinner and they were crying because they didn't want to go. They are so confused and I feel like such a shitty mother. Going to be another long night...I can't take much more of this and I'm on antidepressants!


Me:35
Hubby:38
Kids ages: 2 and 5
Married: 8 years
DDAY: Dec 1 2013
Affair: 2 months EA and PA
Status: Separted. Sigh...I wish I could forgive 😞

Update: attempting to reconcile


Posts: 172 | Registered: Dec 2013 | From: Canada
Uhtred
♂ Member
Member # 40392
Default  Posted: 6:44 PM, January 24th (Friday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I totally get where you are coming from. I too have the same pain and feelings as you. I am fortunate that my wife is trying hard and doing all the right things.

I totally get the hatred toward the other person. My new counselor said something to me today that I'm going to try and keep with me.

She said by allowing them to consume your thoughts you are allowing them to win. I was able to confront the other man and maybe that's why I'm slowly letting him be a distant memory in my mind.

With that said I wouldn't pull him from a burning car. I'd probably get a bag of marshmellows out and enjoy the roast.


Me: BH 32years old DDay 4-29-13
Her: WW 33 years old
“Yet each man kills the thing he loves
By each let this be heard
Some do it with a bitter look
Some with a flattering word
The coward does it with a kiss
The brave man with a sword”

Posts: 534 | Registered: Aug 2013 | From: Houston, Texas
AndreaL
♀ Member
Member # 41522
Default  Posted: 6:56 PM, January 24th (Friday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I think I'm coming unglued...i really do. I hate myself and I hate my life. My therapist says take one day at a time but I consumed by my thoughts. I want to move...every time I drive by the hospital my husband works at I start shaking. I just want to be me again. How do people survive this? Because maybe I am to weak. I always thought I was strong but this may be too much for me.


Me:35
Hubby:38
Kids ages: 2 and 5
Married: 8 years
DDAY: Dec 1 2013
Affair: 2 months EA and PA
Status: Separted. Sigh...I wish I could forgive 😞

Update: attempting to reconcile


Posts: 172 | Registered: Dec 2013 | From: Canada
TryingToReboot
♂ New Member
Member # 42125
Default  Posted: 7:02 PM, January 24th (Friday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I agree with you all, this is such BS!! I find myself really hating both the AP and my WW. I just can't believe how much WW has changed from a few months ago. I wonder not, what rock did she crawl out from under. And AP, I can only hope that someday this shit blows up in their faces like an A-bomb... and they deserve much worse!!!

Posts: 34 | Registered: Jan 2014 | From: Grand Rapids
AndreaL
♀ Member
Member # 41522
Default  Posted: 7:04 PM, January 24th (Friday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Totally. I just want revenge...and I'm not that person. I need to get my act together because I'm scared I'll be headed to the nut house soon. I literally am obsessing.


Me:35
Hubby:38
Kids ages: 2 and 5
Married: 8 years
DDAY: Dec 1 2013
Affair: 2 months EA and PA
Status: Separted. Sigh...I wish I could forgive 😞

Update: attempting to reconcile


Posts: 172 | Registered: Dec 2013 | From: Canada
AndreaL
♀ Member
Member # 41522
Default  Posted: 7:06 PM, January 24th (Friday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Btw...did anyone develop OCD when finding out about the affair? I keep looking in my house for evidence multiple times a day, all day long. I'm obsessed!!!!


Me:35
Hubby:38
Kids ages: 2 and 5
Married: 8 years
DDAY: Dec 1 2013
Affair: 2 months EA and PA
Status: Separted. Sigh...I wish I could forgive 😞

Update: attempting to reconcile


Posts: 172 | Registered: Dec 2013 | From: Canada
Topic Posts: 11

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