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User Topic: What would you think
JerseyCowgirl
♀ Member
Member # 41441
Default  Posted: 8:10 AM, January 24th (Friday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I am just wondering what friends and coworkers thought of my ex at the time he told them he was divorcing
So just hoping for your thoughts...

So let's say you know my ex well and only know me his wife just from a few meetings. He tells you I l was diagnosed with a brain tumor. Another day he tells you I am on my way to a major research hospital but he d
oes not go with me..says I am just going for testing. Two months later he tells you I am having an experimental treatment done. Two weeks later he tells you I am bipolar and crazy so he is divorcing me. One month later he signs up for divorce care and single meetup groups all the while still living in the house but no explanation as to where I am living.

What would be your thoughts on his behavior?

I am just trying to understand


Me: Divorced 2012
I know that when I truly love & honor myself I am at my best & most complete; and I will never settle for anything less from myself or from anyone else ever again!

Posts: 286 | Registered: Nov 2013 | From: Have not decided where to land yet!
sadone29
♀ Member
Member # 38597
Default  Posted: 8:31 AM, January 24th (Friday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Honestly, I would think he was a wee bit unstable and would probably try to minimize contact with him if I could. Going from saying his spouse has a brain tumor to suddenly crying bipolar/crazy and enjoying single life doesn't add up.

Unless his coworkers/friends trust blindly or love gossip/drama, I would think they would see through it?


"I move slow and steady, but I feel like a waterfall."

Posts: 610 | Registered: Mar 2013
JerseyCowgirl
♀ Member
Member # 41441
Default  Posted: 8:44 AM, January 24th (Friday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Geez I hope you are right. I am trying to figure out why everyone shunned me during that time including my friends who he contacted and pastor of my church and a counselor I had been seeing. All refused to speak to me any more.


Me: Divorced 2012
I know that when I truly love & honor myself I am at my best & most complete; and I will never settle for anything less from myself or from anyone else ever again!

Posts: 286 | Registered: Nov 2013 | From: Have not decided where to land yet!
sadone29
♀ Member
Member # 38597
Default  Posted: 8:59 AM, January 24th (Friday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Wow, that's just weird. For a pastor to stop speaking to you? I have to wonder if he was making up many more stories than you know about.

That's so terrible. As if you didn't have enough on your plate to deal with.


"I move slow and steady, but I feel like a waterfall."

Posts: 610 | Registered: Mar 2013
steadfast1973
♀ Member
Member # 24719
Default  Posted: 8:59 AM, January 24th (Friday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I'd think he was a dick for divorcing his sick wife!


Me- 40- BS Him- 36- WH D-day#1 5/25/09 3 mo. EA d-day#2 11/06/13 Prostitute 11/5/13 in R
"I've seen your flag on the marble arch, our love is not a victory march, it's a cold and broken hallelujah."- Leonard Cohen

Posts: 2212 | Registered: Jul 2009 | From: Midwest
JerseyCowgirl
♀ Member
Member # 41441
Default  Posted: 9:11 AM, January 24th (Friday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

As a woman if I heard this I would also think what a dick. But wonder what his male coworkers thought.

He is very convincing and had them believing I was horrible and when the brain tumor info came out people then started to believe his stories even more.


Me: Divorced 2012
I know that when I truly love & honor myself I am at my best & most complete; and I will never settle for anything less from myself or from anyone else ever again!

Posts: 286 | Registered: Nov 2013 | From: Have not decided where to land yet!
simplydevastated
♀ Member
Member # 25001
Default  Posted: 9:14 AM, January 24th (Friday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I'd think he was a dick for divorcing his sick wife!

^^^This


Me - BS, 39 (I'm not old...I'm vintage)
Two Wonderful children - DS10, DD7
Married, for now... (4+ D-Day - listed in profile.)

Posts: 5824 | Registered: Jul 2009 | From: In the darkest depths of hell!
TrustGone
♀ Member
Member # 36654
Default  Posted: 9:16 AM, January 24th (Friday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

You may never know the answers that you now seek. Sometimes you just have to put it down and say they were sick POS that didn't deserve you and you are better off without people like that in your life. The only person you can control is yourself.

I have found this out in my own life and have decided that I don't control other people of what they say or what they do. I know myself what kind of person I am and that's all that really matters. I can love my WH#2, but I can't control what he says or does. It hurts when people lie and betray you. But that's on them. It has nothing to do with you. They are the broken ones and you can't fix them. They have to want to fix themselves. (((HUGS)))


BW-50
WH#2-51
M-9 yrs T-11 yrs
4 children-none together
DD#1-9/5/11 LTA 2yrs
DD#2-7/3/12 False R
DD#3-4/29/13 (OW broke NC)
Status: Your guess is as good as mine.

Posts: 2420 | Registered: Aug 2012 | From: Texas
Dreamland
♀ Member
Member # 40488
Default  Posted: 9:32 AM, January 24th (Friday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I wonder what my fWHs coworkers thought. They all know me his wife.. Yet he kept going out after "working late" meeting up with OW friends some that worked with fWH and his coworkers showed up that know me..
Pisses me off that people can't speak up and say ... He asshat. Where's you wife and what are you doing with that piece of fugly shit...


Me-BS 50 Him-WH 47, DD17
Together since 1993, Married 19 yrs
DDay 3/12,4/12,7/12 EA-PA OW - 25 single husband chasing bastard whore

Posts: 515 | Registered: Aug 2013
cl131716
♀ Member
Member # 40699
Default  Posted: 9:42 AM, January 24th (Friday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I would think he was selfish and be completely appalled he would feel that way about his wife who has a brain tumor. Simply, I would think he was a coward.


Me BS 31
Him WS 34 Trying4change
Together 3 years, married for one
D-day: 07/23/13 cybersex with COW
D-day: 12/27/13 found out he met and kissed a "friend" in 2011
"A clear and innocent conscience fears nothing."

Posts: 935 | Registered: Sep 2013 | From: Oklahoma
JerseyCowgirl
♀ Member
Member # 41441
Default  Posted: 9:46 AM, January 24th (Friday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I had neighbors who I was friends with years ago but I spoke up to her when I saw him bringing women to house while she was working and he was supposed to be watching their children.

I would like to say I did the right thing but they did divorce and she did not want to be friends with me. If it would have been me I would have considered it as wow this person who told the truth is the best friend someone could want.


Me: Divorced 2012
I know that when I truly love & honor myself I am at my best & most complete; and I will never settle for anything less from myself or from anyone else ever again!

Posts: 286 | Registered: Nov 2013 | From: Have not decided where to land yet!
JerseyCowgirl
♀ Member
Member # 41441
Default  Posted: 9:54 AM, January 24th (Friday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I agree coward & selfish
But would part of you wonder whether the tumor might make the wife "act crazy" and think poor husband having to deal with this.

My ex SIL told my employers and even though they saw no personality changes in me they consulted an attorney to find out their liability if I should have a seizure while running errands on work time. I was not at risk for a seizure but they jumped to that conclusion.


Me: Divorced 2012
I know that when I truly love & honor myself I am at my best & most complete; and I will never settle for anything less from myself or from anyone else ever again!

Posts: 286 | Registered: Nov 2013 | From: Have not decided where to land yet!
nowiknow23
♀ Guide
Member # 33226
Default  Posted: 9:59 AM, January 24th (Friday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

If it would have been me I would have considered it as wow this person who told the truth is the best friend someone could want.
I would probably think the same as you, Jersey, but the reality is that many people distance themselves out of embarrassment, misplaced shame, misplaced anger... Or it could also be that she connects the memories of that time with you and doesn't want to be reminded.

((((Jersey))))


You can call me NIK

Wise men talk because they have something to say; fools, because they have to say something.
- Plato


Posts: 24394 | Registered: Aug 2011
Ostrich80
Member
Member # 34827
Default  Posted: 11:20 AM, January 24th (Friday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I would think why isn't he with his wife while she's having tests run. I think he said things that had nothing to do with illness, if they have shunned you. I am shocked that a pastor would do this. Really though if people are that easily persuaded against someone they really don't know well, except for what the husband says, eff all of them. You don't need assholes in your life like that.


BS..me
WS..him
Been with him over half my life
4kid
DD1 10-01-09 DD2 02-12-12 discovered it never ended
OW..nothing special. Just your average skank
Status..#$%@????

Posts: 4710 | Registered: Feb 2012 | From: midwest
Topic Posts: 14

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