Cheating Hurt by Infidelity
Betrayal Wayward Donations lying
Welcome

Forums

Guidelines

Find a Local Counselor

The Healing Library

Media

Contact Us
lies
cover
In Association with Amazon.com
Support
Infidelity -
-
like us on facebook
You are not logged in. Login here or register.
[Register]
Newest Member: chewiejax (45435)

Wayward Side Post Reply     Print Topic    
User Topic: One year antiversary
pizzalover
♀ Member
Member # 38336
Content  Posted: 11:20 AM, January 24th (Friday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Today is our one year antiversary. One year ago at this exact time I told my BH I cheated on him. Yesterday (a year ago), my former AP's BH called me to tell me she knew. My world exploded. I can't believe a year has gone by, but I have made so many positive changes and have been working on myself and my marriage. I will post a longer post later on to talk about my achievements/realizations, but for now I want to say I am thankful EVERYDAY for the second chance I have and that my BH still wants me in his life and still loves me. I am grateful for the gift he has given me and I love him very much.


Trying to rebuild each day

Me - WW 39
Him - BH 40 (mpb1974)
2 Furrbabies - sweet cats

Met - 8/13/99
Started dating - 9/11/99
Moved in together - 3/03
Engaged - 6/5/09
Married - 8/21/10
D-Day - 1/24/13
Affair started 5/09


Posts: 493 | Registered: Feb 2013 | From: Pennsylvania
MercifulH
♂ New Member
Member # 42045
Default  Posted: 12:31 PM, January 24th (Friday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Thank you for sharing. My DDay happened on 01/03/13, and I am still swimming in a sea of uncertainty. It is encouraging to see someone who had an affair that lasted about as long as my WW's affair and managed to make it work. I hope I am able to work things out with my WW as you have with your BH.

[This message edited by MercifulH at 12:32 PM, January 24th (Friday)]


Me - BS 27
Her - WW 26 (Neveragain1221)
Started Dating 12/08/07
Married 04/03/12
D-day#1 05/02/12 Gaslighting, Rugsweeping
D-day#2 01/03/14 Confrontation about D-day#1, got confession
4 year EA and PA, TT, Affair began less than 1 year after we

Posts: 30 | Registered: Jan 2014 | From: Minnesota
2yrsblind
♂ Member
Member # 41974
Default  Posted: 12:41 PM, January 24th (Friday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I have a question, you don't have to answer you owe me nothing. But why would you be engaged and married if you were already involved with AP?


The most damaging lies told are those we tell to ourselves--my grandma

Posts: 95 | Registered: Jan 2014 | From: Midwest USA
Jrazz
♀ Guide
Member # 31349
Default  Posted: 12:44 PM, January 24th (Friday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

We're glad you're here and working on yourself and your marriage.

Hold your BH tight, the anti's are rough but with you being his rock he will weather it much better.


Cherish those who seek the truth but beware of those who find it. - François-Marie Arouet

Posts: 17890 | Registered: Feb 2011 | From: California
Brandon808
♂ Member
Member # 35619
Default  Posted: 1:14 PM, January 24th (Friday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

@pizzalover,
Glad to see a positive update.

@2yrsblind,
FYI - There is a thread in the I Can Relate forum for BS to ask WS questions.


xBH
D final 8/2012

Posts: 4007 | Registered: May 2012 | From: southeast
Lucky2HaveMe
♀ Member
Member # 13333
Default  Posted: 1:18 PM, January 24th (Friday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

The ICR thread is for BS asking general questions of a WS. 2YB had a specific question based on Pizza's post...

Anyways - Please share your thoughts with your BS. The worst thing is for a WS to think "Oh I'm not going to mention anything cause I know it's a tough day for her" That's how my WH chose to deal with it. The one piece of advice I with every WW would take is to not be afraid to bring up the A and the aftermath. Trust me, we are thinking about it and it helps tremendously to know you are too

Congrats on making progress! Keep on swimming!


Love isn't what you say, it's what you do.

Posts: 6587 | Registered: Jan 2007 | From: WNY
SandAway
♀ Member
Member # 37775
Default  Posted: 9:16 PM, January 24th (Friday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Good to 'see' you pizzalover

Keep up the good work


fWW
BH Tred
M 16yrs
DDay Nov. 2011

Guns don't kill people; Affairs kill people


Posts: 439 | Registered: Dec 2012
heartbroken0903
♀ Member
Member # 27879
Default  Posted: 9:56 PM, January 24th (Friday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Sending support and encouragement through the air for you, PL.


Me: XWS, 30s, 5-month EA/PA in '09-'10
Husband: XBS, 40s
No kids

Married 2.5 years
D-day 3/6/10
Divorced 5/14/10

Remarried.


Posts: 2244 | Registered: Mar 2010 | From: the cat's meow
Brandon808
♂ Member
Member # 35619
Default  Posted: 12:06 AM, January 25th (Saturday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

The ICR thread is for BS asking general questions of a WS. 2YB had a specific question based on Pizza's post...
I misunderstood then. When I first saw the question it read to me like a general type of question I would see in ICR.


xBH
D final 8/2012

Posts: 4007 | Registered: May 2012 | From: southeast
2yrsblind
♂ Member
Member # 41974
Default  Posted: 12:22 AM, January 25th (Saturday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I have the answer by reading. OM is MOM and unavailable, was BH your second round pick at the time? Knowing MOM wouldn't leave his wife. That's how I would have felt.

[This message edited by 2yrsblind at 2:03 AM, January 25th (Saturday)]


The most damaging lies told are those we tell to ourselves--my grandma

Posts: 95 | Registered: Jan 2014 | From: Midwest USA
pizzalover
♀ Member
Member # 38336
Default  Posted: 12:13 PM, February 5th (Wednesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I apoolgize for waiting so long to reply. Thanks for all of the comments everyone. I appreciate it.

I have a question, you don't have to answer you owe me nothing. But why would you be engaged and married if you were already involved with AP?

2yrsblind, this is a very good question and something that I am actively working on in therapy. My IC has a theory that my relationship with my BH was the real thing - what a real relationship should be - love, friendship, safety, pain, daily BS, happiness, sadness, realness all rolled into one. My "relationship" with AP was an addiction. Compartmentalization was present - this I can't quite understand how my brain was able to separate the two things.

I have the answer by reading. OM is MOM and unavailable, was BH your second round pick at the time? Knowing MOM wouldn't leave his wife. That's how I would have felt.

I don't want to invalidate your feelings, because you have the right to express and feel whatever you want. However, I NEVER ONCE wanted to leave my BH and my AP NEVER ONCE wanted to leave his wife. I know this seems absurb, but it is the truth. I can understand how you or my BH might feel this way, but I had NO INTENTIONS of leaving my BH.


Trying to rebuild each day

Me - WW 39
Him - BH 40 (mpb1974)
2 Furrbabies - sweet cats

Met - 8/13/99
Started dating - 9/11/99
Moved in together - 3/03
Engaged - 6/5/09
Married - 8/21/10
D-Day - 1/24/13
Affair started 5/09


Posts: 493 | Registered: Feb 2013 | From: Pennsylvania
Topic Posts: 11

Return to Forum: Wayward Side Post Reply to this Topic
adultry
Go to :
madness  
© 2002 - 2014 SurvivingInfidelity.com. All Rights Reserved.