And so goes with the question: To all divorced sahm's -How did you fair with the judge?
I get the impression from SI posts that states and counties vary greatly. I am in a conservative Midwest county where SAHM' s do very well, standard is 5 years of spousal support at the minimum and can be much longer.
I was also told by my attorney that they do look at conduct in my county even though they are not supposed to.
If you haven't already, go and see a lawyer or several.
It also depends on how you present it e.g. you might need to go back to college.
[This message edited by jemimapd at 12:13 PM, January 25th (Saturday)]
In terms of assets, we did a straight up 50/50 split. I gave him retirement and cash in exchange for keeping as much equity in the house and have the marital home.
Not sure how much help that is, but might give you some idea?
"who doesn't contribute."
I believe there's an online calculator where you can add up the hourly rate on all the work involved.
Add it up, write it down, and have it handy when going into negotiations.
People who claim SAHMs don't 'work' are full of it!
Good luck mj.
I don't mean to be harsh or blunt, but I'm not sure I would count on being a SAHM for the long term post-D. Young kids, sometimes the childcare isn't worth it, but CS accounts for childcare in the formula. You'd have to run through a number or scenarios with your L.
ETA: although your stbx was a dick to put it like that, he's essentially correct the judge won't care who slept with whom.
[This message edited by roughroadahead at 12:57 PM, January 25th (Saturday)]
I was able to get awarded to me half the cash money I could prove my ex gave to one of his OW. Only the cash, though, and not the value of the gifts & hotels, which was considerably more.
I got sole legal & physical custody due to the parenting evaluation. While I don't think the judge cared about my ex's sexual issues, the parenting evaluator did.
I was imputed 40 hours at minimum wage when calculating spousal support. After a year of looking I still do not have that job. It's not looking hopeful for me, which is why I'm looking at college again. Family Court does not view SAHM's as able-bodied people who do nothing, though. They simply don't expect you to continue to be a SAHM.
Spousal support, since I had a long-term marriage, will last for half the number of years I was married.
I got the house. My ex got all the money.
I did very well with custody and visitation, everything went my way.
I had to give him a bunch of shit from the house, which I was not happy about.
Marriages that start this way, stepping over the bodies of loved ones as the giddy couple walks down the aisle, are not likely to last.
His statement about you not contributing is absolute bs. I was a SAHM.
Being a SAHM is hard work. I dare anyone to say that you did not contribute! Did he ever go to work and worry that his children were not well cared for? Did he have to change diapers, do laundry, prepare meals while he was out working and cheating?
I know that my ex never worried about anything because this able-bodied wife was home working her ass off!
Courts in MA take this into account.
[This message edited by risingfromashes at 5:24 PM, January 25th (Saturday)]