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User Topic: Car accident today
sadone29
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Member # 38597
Default  Posted: 3:24 PM, January 25th (Saturday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

It was the first major accident I've ever experienced. I'm so grateful my kids weren't hurt. I feel like a bundle of nerves, but I'm finally calming down a little. The soreness is now kicking in.

Anyone go through this? The kids seem fine emotionally, much better than me, but I don't know if it will come out later? Is there anything I need to do?


SAWH: working hard on all addictions
Out of limbo hell. R Feb. 15
Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding -proverbs 3:5

Posts: 456 | Registered: Mar 2013
purplejacket4
♀ Member
Member # 34262
Default  Posted: 3:28 PM, January 25th (Saturday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Everyone will hurt tomorrow so get the children's Advil/ Tylenol ready.

Most likely YOU will hurt the most.

BFF totaled her car in med school with lucky me in the passenger seat. That day I had so much adrenalin I thought I was fine. The next morning: OMG.

ETA: I was in two major accidents before K in Dallas on freeways (and there were NO seat belts then). My parents took me afterwards to toy store so I thought it was exciting and great!

[This message edited by purplejacket4 at 3:30 PM, January 25th (Saturday)]


Me: BS 44
Her: fWS 47 (same sex partner)
Together: 17 now (both MDs)
OW: meh so what 40s PhD
DD1: 10/30/11EA; DD2: 11/10/11 Had ONS; TT until 12/26/11; broke NC 6/12; NC again 7/12; R-ish

Posts: 1861 | Registered: Dec 2011 | From: Great Southwest
metamorphisis
♀ Administrator
Member # 12041
Default  Posted: 3:32 PM, January 25th (Saturday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Agreed. Tomorrow and the next day you will be sore in places you didn't even know were places. Your body will have absorbed all the shock on impact and likely you tensed up right before it happened adding to the stress on you.
Hopefully the kids were relaxed and won't hurt as much.
For me, one of the things I didn't anticipate was the emotional trauma. I kept hearing the sound of the crash out of nowhere and I was jumpy and jittery for quite some time.
I am so glad you are all ok. Expect to be weepy and emotional. The good news is that this too will pass.
(((((((Sadone29))))))



“We don't see things as they are; we see them as we are.”... Anais Nin

Posts: 42820 | Registered: Sep 2006
sadone29
♀ Member
Member # 38597
Default  Posted: 3:37 PM, January 25th (Saturday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Thank you both. I'm a little scared, since I'm already getting really sore! I do remember bracing for the impact.

I was super weepy at the hospital. Kept hugging the kids. Cried when we talked to the family of the other lady involved. She is older and had just had back surgery, so she was in lots of pain. The paramedics said she would be fine, just taking extra precautions. I want to cry just thinking about it. :(


SAWH: working hard on all addictions
Out of limbo hell. R Feb. 15
Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding -proverbs 3:5

Posts: 456 | Registered: Mar 2013
Aubrie
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Member # 33886
Default  Posted: 3:42 PM, January 25th (Saturday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I was involved in my second and my kids first car accident early last summer.

Severe whiplash for me. Moderate whiplash for DD. Slight aches and pains for DS. I braced cause I saw the truck trying to stop and not succeeding in the mirror. I bet you'll be super sore tomorrow. Just take it easy. Cry. It's ok. I was sobbing for days. Part of the fear, trauma, and "what if" that runs thru your mind.

The kids were scared to get in the car for about 2 or 3 months. I had to drive super slow and easy on the turns and brakes for a while after the wreck. Any sudden movements sent the kids into a tizzy.

DD is still angry at the driver that hit us. Our truck was totalled. When we sold it recently, she cried. She misses the truck. Last week, she said she didn't like to think about the accident because it made her very angry.

For me, one of the things I didn't anticipate was the emotional trauma. I kept hearing the sound of the crash out of nowhere and I was jumpy and jittery for quite some time
Agreed. I still spazz out and flinch when I hear squealing tires or brakes.

(((sadone and littles)))

[This message edited by Aubrie at 3:44 PM, January 25th (Saturday)]


Me - FWW * Him - QuietStand

"Courage is being scared to death and saddling up anyway." - J. Wayne

"You can do it!" - R. Schneider


Posts: 5468 | Registered: Nov 2011
unfound
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Member # 12802
Default  Posted: 3:45 PM, January 25th (Saturday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

scary for sure!

if your kids are littles, it might be a good time to reinforce how important seatbelts are, and that it's okay to be a little scared the next time they're in the car. Littles tend to move through these things, but watch them for post traumatic reactions (bad dreams, acting out or out of character, being overly clingy etc..).

If they're older, it might be a good time to reinforce how important seatbelts are as well.

DS#2 was in the car when I was rear ended a while back. We both had belt bruises, but were okay otherwise. I pointed out that the bruises on our shoulders/hips were nothing compared to what our faces might have looked like had we not been wearing seat belts.


ka-mai
*******************
Hey you, would you help me to carry the stone ...

Posts: 14749 | Registered: Nov 2006 | From: mercury's underboob
sadone29
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Member # 38597
Default  Posted: 4:25 PM, January 25th (Saturday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Thank you both. I'm sorry you've also had to deal with these issues.

At the hospital, H told DD8 how grateful he was that she reminded him to put his seatbelt on (if she forgot, I would do it but today, she reminded him). I think she felt proud that she played a significant role in keeping her dad safe.


SAWH: working hard on all addictions
Out of limbo hell. R Feb. 15
Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding -proverbs 3:5

Posts: 456 | Registered: Mar 2013
nowiknow23
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Member # 33226
Default  Posted: 4:43 PM, January 25th (Saturday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Ohmygosh - I'm so glad you are all ok. How terrifying!
The kids seem fine emotionally, much better than me, but I don't know if it will come out later? Is there anything I need to do?
How old are your kids, honey? This happened to us 8 years ago when our kids were 12 and 7.


Our car was totaled. Although we all walked away from the accident (thanks Heavens), we were all terribly sore, and the kids had bruising where the seat belts had pulled against them.

The kids were hysterical in the moments after the accident, but acted more withdrawn and quiet after we were checked out at the hospital and released.

In the months afterward, DD kept repeating the "story" of the crash and asking us to verify that it was what happened. She talked her feelings out - "I was scared, wasn't I Mom? I was crying, right? I was sad..." She processed it from a logical perspective for the most part.

DS, however, internalized it all. He would get angry when DD wanted to talk about it. He was terrified to be in a car. He would react with a startle to sudden noises and the unexpected or the unknown caused him fear. It took a concerted effort to draw out his feeling sand help him process everything appropriately, and during that time he avoided getting a learner's permit for 3 years, not starting driver's ed until he was 17.

Give your kids plenty of opportunities to talk about it. Reassure them that they are safe and that whatever they are feeling is ok. It wouldn't hurt to have them talk with a counselor.

((((sadone & kids))))


You can call me NIK

There's always failure. And there's always disappointment. And there's always loss.
But the secret is learning from the loss, and realizing that none of those holes are vacuums.
- Michael J. Fox


Posts: 22674 | Registered: Aug 2011
jo2love
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Member # 31528
Default  Posted: 4:55 PM, January 25th (Saturday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

(((sadone & kids)))

I'm thankful you and your family are ok. Please take it easy the next few days.




Posts: 30721 | Registered: Mar 2011
Random thoughts
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Member # 2959
Default  Posted: 7:09 PM, January 25th (Saturday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Try an Epsom salt bath for the aches and pains you will be feeling tomorrow.

Glad that you're all ok....


Those three words are said too much and not enough.
Chasing Cars-Snow Patrol.
FWW

Posts: 1536 | Registered: Dec 2003 | From: Some where in New Jersey
cinnamongurl
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Member # 37879
Default  Posted: 11:05 PM, January 25th (Saturday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

So sorry sadone.I was in a bad accident years ago that happened in front of my house. I was having nightmares about it and had trouble sleeping. I also had a lot of muscle pain.

For the aches and soreness, take an antiinflammatory such as ibuprofen or naproxen, and I second the Epsom bath! The magnesium soothes sore muscles, and the bath helped me relax some. My Dr also prescribed me a low dose of lorazepam (½mg) which helped ease some of my anxiety.

(((sadone))) Peace and healing to you and your family!


Me: 36 fWGF He: 35 BBF and my heart
Together 17 yrs. "You were sick, but now you're well again, and there's work to do."
Kurt Vonnegut



Posts: 461 | Registered: Dec 2012 | From: home with my heart.
thebighurt
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Member # 34722
Default  Posted: 3:01 AM, January 26th (Sunday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I'm glad you weren't hurt seriously. As others said, the soreness, aches and emotional bruising are hard enough to deal with. That and replacing a vehicle or having it in for repairs. (((Sadone29 and children)))

Years ago, I was alone, driving down the road, when rear ended by a car being driven too fast for conditions. No injuries and moderate damage, but still today, I check the rear view mirror often and start to panic and tense up when it looks like the vehicle behind is advancing too fast. I panicked a short time ago when stopped behind a stopped school bus between two hills on a country road where I know cars travel over the speed limit frequently. It takes that a long time to go away sometimes.


Finding what life could have been....... Why didn't I see it?

Posts: 1969 | Registered: Feb 2012 | From: the Other Side
Jeaniegirl
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Member # 6370
Default  Posted: 12:49 PM, January 26th (Sunday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I have only been in one major accident and the pain and damage wasn't evident for a few hours. Sitting at a red light, I was rear-ended by a 3/4 Ton truck and it was estimated he was doing 45 miles per hour, knocking my car about 50 feet ahead into traffic. I was lucky I wasn't hit a second time by the other traffic. I seemed okay but that night my shoulder started hurting and I had to go to ER. The air bags had deployed and that combined with being buckled in by a seat belt resulted in a torn rotor cuff, which required surgery. I had to have surgery a week later and then extensive therapy.

So glad you and kiddos are okay. A car accident is traumatic, for sure.

[This message edited by Jeaniegirl at 12:50 PM, January 26th (Sunday)]


"Because I deserve better"

Posts: 788 | Registered: Feb 2005
sadone29
♀ Member
Member # 38597
Default  Posted: 9:18 PM, January 26th (Sunday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Thanks everyone! I'm sorry to hear so many going through this too.

nowiknow23, the kids are 6 and 8. The younger one is very emotional and has had anxiety in the past. She's been very loud, both in crying and laughter today! Like everything is heightened for her. She's also having trouble falling asleep. My older tends to keep things in, but she has developed the same kind of stress rash that I developed soon after DDay. So I've been keeping an eye on her and trying to spend quality time together.

My parents came over to help, and my dad urged me to go back to see a doctor. The soreness in my back actually got better, but my neck is now killing me. This doctor took things much more seriously than the doctor I saw at the hospital. He told me my concussion in an automatic 3 days off and gave me medication for the whiplash.

I had to get into the car to get to the clinic, and I am definitely feeling very nervous in vehicles right now. Last night I kept replaying the moment of impact. Hopefully it's just my brain trying to integrate the experience.


SAWH: working hard on all addictions
Out of limbo hell. R Feb. 15
Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding -proverbs 3:5

Posts: 456 | Registered: Mar 2013
Holly-Isis
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Member # 13447
Default  Posted: 6:34 AM, January 27th (Monday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

(((((Sadone and kids)))))

Having your kids in the cars adds an extra level of fear, I know. I'm glad they're all right. The other driver may be hurt too but it could've gone so much worse. You all are alive, that's such a blessing.

I've only been in fender benders and would get triggered by similar situations for awhile afterwards. So be prepared to deal with that.

You seem like you have a good focus on your kids and how they deal with things. That will help them so much.


"Being in love" first moved them to promise fidelity: this quieter love enables them to keep the promise. *CS Lewis*

❣Your soulmate is the person who helps grow your soul into a better being rather than tearing it down❣


Posts: 10869 | Registered: Jan 2007 | From: Limbo
lynnm1947
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Member # 15300
Default  Posted: 8:33 AM, January 27th (Monday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Me, me, me! Two car accidents within ten months in the early '90s. Both caused whiplash and one buggered my lower back.

My advice? Make sure you get physio. I didn't (was too busy running a company) and I have lived to regret it. Constant neck and back problems necessitate many visits to the chiropractor.


Age: 64..ummmmmmm, no...............65....no...oh, hell born in 1947. You figure it out!

"I could have missed the pain, but I would have had to miss the dance." Garth Brooks


Posts: 6936 | Registered: Jul 2007 | From: Toronto, Canada
DixieD
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Member # 33457
Default  Posted: 11:03 AM, January 27th (Monday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

How are you doing today Sadone?

I had to get into the car to get to the clinic, and I am definitely feeling very nervous in vehicles right now. Last night I kept replaying the moment of impact. Hopefully it's just my brain trying to integrate the experience.

Because of the trauma you've already had (the reason for this site) and the anxiety you mentioned you were experiencing prior to the accident, if this nervousness and replaying the moment of impact persists or increases, EMDR therapy can help with that sort of thing. Don't suffer with it or hope it will go away. I wish I'd tried it a lot sooner than I did.


Growing forward

Posts: 1453 | Registered: Sep 2011
sadone29
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Member # 38597
Default  Posted: 8:41 AM, January 28th (Tuesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

holly-isis, we drove in the ambulance with the other driver. She was so sweet and lovely...more concerned about the kids than herself. We spoke to the paramedics and her family. She will be fine, just maybe in some pain.

lynnm, that's aweful! Glad you're okay. I'm pretty scared of it happening again so soon. We all know it can...

DixieD, sorry I didn't respond yesterday. Apparently reading on the computer was too much for my brain! I'm feeling much better today; more clear headed and less dizzy. I've stopped replaying it so much. I can't feel it as acutely as I did the first day. But this morning, the sound of the cars hitting suddenly popped into my head.
Remember I had mentioned my reckless youth in my other thread? Well, I suddenly remembered a time (I think I was 19) when I was out drinking heavily with friends. I ended up slipping and falling face first onto ice. It was in the same spot that got hit in the car. I think I had a bigger goose egg than I do now. But back then, no one suggested that I should see a doctor. The people I was with simply laughed and I tried to pretend I was all right. I don't remember if I threw up or anything, but even then, I would have attributed it to a hangover. I never told my family about it either. I know now that having more than one concussion can have cumulative effects, so even though I feel not too bad, I'm taking it really easy.
I looked into EDMR before and it seemed interesting. I don't know if I could afford that until I find a job. We do get free counselling through H's work, so I might start with that first.

The kids' teachers both said that they are doing well. Just to make sure, they are going to see a therapist tomorrow. They are excited that a nice lady wants to play with them and shower them with attention. :)


SAWH: working hard on all addictions
Out of limbo hell. R Feb. 15
Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding -proverbs 3:5

Posts: 456 | Registered: Mar 2013
sadone29
♀ Member
Member # 38597
Default  Posted: 9:48 PM, January 28th (Tuesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

[This message edited by sadone29 at 8:20 PM, January 30th (Thursday)]


SAWH: working hard on all addictions
Out of limbo hell. R Feb. 15
Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding -proverbs 3:5

Posts: 456 | Registered: Mar 2013
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