Additionally, he is trying to dictate the kids schedule again. He did ask politely a couple of weeks ago about switching the week days for his travel and I met him halfway. Since then he has started telling me when he could and could not take the kids and last week I had to change plans that I have been anticipating for a long time because of kids off school and ex needing to fly out. I get that this is what parents do, but he told me I needed to do this, didn't ask.
I have ALWAYS held my tongue, gone by the "what would a judge say" if he saw my emails. But I am done. He is a shit. I don't want to try any more. It has been 4 fucking years since he left. HE LEFT, not me.
And yes, I have documented everything. I have spreadsheets with all the kids expenses over the years. What I contributed, what he contributes. It is a joke.
I am thinking about laying out my boundaries and explaining what CS covers one last time. If he cannot treat me civilly, then we revert back to what the div decree states as it benefits me anyway. I rarely ask for help w kids' schedule as it is and I really will never have to ask as the kids are getting older and my mom (who is local) will be retiring this spring.
I know these are two issues. Do I let the money go? I was anticipating his dick move anyway. But I do want him to know that I know he is a dick, IYKWIM.
And I just went to court. $$$ and 12month process. And once again, MD judges can not order someone to pay for 1/2 of extracurricular activities.
OK, so how do you propose that I get the money from him?
You can't. Since it is not in the court order then there is really nothing you can do except to ask him to pay half and expect him to pay nothing. It sucks and is not fair, but it is reality.
As far as visitation, I do think that you need to revert back to the court order because it looks like he is starting to jerk you around. But on the other hand, you cannot force him to take visitation. Do you have first right of refusal? If so, then take the kids when he has to travel but do not give him any days in return. Tell him that he forfeited his visitation and there is nothing in the court order that says you have to give him "make up" days. Then perhaps tell him that you will be more flexible once he starts paying 1/2 of the extracurricular, but as long as he is being a dick then you reserve the right to be a bitch.
Bitch boots. They cannot compel someone to do something, but they are great at kicking them back when they encroach upon you.
HTH and (((hugs)))
And the fact is, I need him to take the kids for my job. I am a salaried position and they are flexible, so I work more hours on the days he has the kids to make up for the hours I miss because because of the kids. So I screw myself if I don't allow him to have make up days.