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New Beginnings Post Reply     Print Topic    
User Topic: Old vs. accepting you may be on your own...
♀ Member
Member # 3075
Default  Posted: 11:27 AM, January 28th (Tuesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I did not enjoy OLD while I was on it and don't really want to deal with it. My "picker" has always been bad so I'm done......

Posts: 306 | Registered: Jan 2004 | From: CA
Member # 35912
Default  Posted: 4:00 PM, January 28th (Tuesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

dignityintact! It's not binary! Get that thought of of you head right now.

If OLD isn't working then there are at least a dozen other ways to meet people -whether they become just acquaintances, friends, or lovers

Here is where:
1. While traveling
2. Through volunteering
3. While out doing something fun (beach, boating, museums)
4. An evening class as a community college
5. Walking your dog in the park
6. Running a marathon
7. At the gym, market, store
8. Through friends
9. From a church or social group
10. At a concert, bar, restaurant

Now get out there!

Posts: 500 | Registered: Jun 2012
♀ Member
Member # 33732
Default  Posted: 7:28 PM, January 28th (Tuesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

As far as OLD I think you need to learn to read people just as in bar.

I have been with my OLD for 6 years so once you get through the whackos and learn to read people OL as well IRL you will do much better.

Him - FWSO
OW - DBC Xwife
DDAY 09/14/11 ONS w/DBCxWOW with 4 mos EA
Solidly in R

Posts: 1005 | Registered: Oct 2011 | From: MA
♀ Member
Member # 23890
Default  Posted: 8:05 PM, January 28th (Tuesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

momentary t/j:

Undecided you scared me - I saw your name on this post and thought - aw shit - what happened!? Glad to read what you wrote!

As to being on my own. Some of it I really like, I'm planning my second trip overseas, hitting the bucket list when I can, and I go out on occasion with friends. Now, I work with women and children, live pretty much in the sticks, don't want to go to a bar, haven't seen a meetup group that grabbed my interest locally...and in five years I have not met a single man my age -- literally.

And even though my sister met and married from OLD, I just can't wrap my brain around it.
I look around (and maybe this is just based on experiencing 30 lackluster years of marriage, and seeing my friends' marriages) I not sure I believe I'm missing anything. From where I'm sitting the grass doesn't necessarily look any greener over there. So I guess, I'm going to continue to water my own lawn for a bit. Hell, maybe I'll join the redhats!

eta: no offense to any redhatters here! But I look goofy in a hat, let alone a red one!

[This message edited by Take2 at 8:17 PM, January 28th (Tuesday)]

"We must be willing to get rid of the life we've planned, so as to have the life that is waiting for us." Joseph Campbell...So, If fear was not a factor - what would you do?

Posts: 4133 | Registered: May 2009 | From: New England
♀ Member
Member # 29250
Default  Posted: 10:20 PM, January 28th (Tuesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I really *want* to be happy and content with the thought of spending the rest of my life alone, but I'd be lying if I said so. There are parts of it I have grown to like but overall I'm not happy. I'm on OLD for the second time now and I hate it more this time than I did the last. When it expires I'm done. If I don't meet someone the old fashioned way, then I guess I'll just be alone.

“People who cheat feel that life is for the taking, and that everyone deserves happiness no matter what the cost. I must remember these tricks if I ever have my soul surgically removed."
Me: BS 42. Him: WH 41 2 Kids 6&9
Married 14 yrs Together 21

Posts: 1575 | Registered: Aug 2010
♀ Member
Member # 39193
Default  Posted: 11:33 PM, January 28th (Tuesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

All I will say about OLD is that's how I met XWH.

Me: Enjoying life
Him: Someone else's problem

Life shrinks or expands in proportion to one's courage. ~ Anais Nin

Posts: 915 | Registered: May 2013 | From: Oregon
Topic Posts: 26
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