It is perfectly natural and reasonable to want to protect yourself emotionally after such a trauma.
3 years out, I think I'm back in love with her and not unhappy about being IL. I've always been IL with her, but until a few months ago, I wanted to be less vulnerable. I don't think my recovery is complete yet, but being OK about being IL was a very nice step to take.
So what you're feeling seems normal to me, and love does come back, if you both do the work you need to do, and if you give yourself time.
[This message edited by sisoon at 12:42 PM, January 28th (Tuesday)]