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Newest Member: BetterMindset (45337)

Reconciliation Post Reply     Print Topic    
User Topic: should I remind H it's antiversary day?
gettingthere2013
♀ Member
Member # 38232
Default  Posted: 1:50 PM, January 28th (Tuesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Tomorrow will be one year,which is both and

My question is whether or not I remind H about it. He and I did have a discussion about it last week,during which I said that January 29th is going to be a rough day...he asked why. Yeah-he had genuinely forgot. I explained that it would stir up a lot of feelings for me,that despite all our progress,it would likely throw me right back to the way I felt "then". We talked about how it was important that he take the time that day to make me feel special,that I want there to be no room for even thoughts of the OW,I just want him to focus on us.

Do I trust that he remembers? Is it passive/aggressive to make this a test of how much he pays attention to our R issues,or do I say something? If I say something,how does that go? If I don't and he forgets,how do I handle it? I'm just a big bundle of feelings right now,and having a hard time sorting through them all.


Me:BW(42)
Him:WH(40)
Kids: Seven...yes,you read that right,and yes-we do know what causes them :)
Dday#1 1/29/2013(ONS with coworker)
Dday#2 4/8/2013(6 month LD PA with coworker,over for six months at time of discovery)
Reconciling...in all our

Posts: 73 | Registered: Jan 2013 | From: South
karmahappens
♀ Member
Member # 35846
Default  Posted: 1:56 PM, January 28th (Tuesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

We talked about how it was important that he take the time that day to make me feel special,that I want there to be no room for even thoughts of the OW,I just want him to focus on us.

You talked about this last week?

I would expect he would remember, especially if you explained to him what you need.

I wouldn't want to have to remind him again, he should be making note of it's importance and do what you asked.

I expect my husband to step up when I have expressed my needs. It takes a lot to open up to someone and be vulnerable.

But you have to do what is comfortable for you.Do you want to tell him again? Remind him? Will it be telling to you if he does forget?

I hope he respects your needs and is prepared to help you through this day.

Be good to you. (((hugs)))


“And the day came when the risk to remain tight in a bud was more painful than the risk it took to blossom”
Anaïs Nin
Me: 45
Him: 47
Dday 8/2007
We have R'd

Posts: 3845 | Registered: Jun 2012 | From: Massachusetts
Topic Posts: 2

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