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Newest Member: JRconfused (45363)

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User Topic: Confronted OM
♀ Member
Member # 39532
Default  Posted: 11:11 PM, January 28th (Tuesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

inappropriate comment.

[This message edited by SI Staff at 11:21 PM, January 28th (Tuesday)]

BS 35
WS 31
DD, only child
DDay: 06/09/13
End of TT/Full Disclosure 07/08/13

Reconciling. A stronger marriage now.

Psalm 37. It rocks my world. So does 140. Big guy upstairs has got it all figured out.

Posts: 230 | Registered: Jun 2013 | From: Here and there...
♂ New Member
Member # 41557
Default  Posted: 12:22 AM, January 29th (Wednesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I contacted OM too and it went all sideways with my WW. He called her immediately and broke the NC and my WW didn't tell me. Then turned it all around on me like it was my fault. Her blame shifting skills are finely tuned.

I broke her heart and spirit in Jan, 2010.
She broke my heart in Nov 2013.
DD - 16
DS - 14
DD - 12
DS - 8
Wanting to R but doubtful it will work

Posts: 43 | Registered: Dec 2013 | From: Western USA
♀ Member
Member # 38973
Default  Posted: 12:47 AM, January 29th (Wednesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I'm sorry but it doesn't sound like the affair is over. I definitely wouldn't hold an anniversary party but seek out MC and IC. She's justifying her actions in order to continue it. The OM is a total wuss but the issue is actually what is and is not happening between you and her. She is still in affair la la land. You need to 180 now. Think about you right now. You are important and mustn't get lost in her chaos.

f?WH - 49
m27 yrs, T 28, no kids
OW-WH's former CW, friends + 20yr
DDay-11/16/12, LT EA, 4y? PA, manymany
EA with FFriends over the years
Attempting R
Is there an end to blindness in sight?

Posts: 77 | Registered: Apr 2013 | From: N.California
♂ Member
Member # 35901
Default  Posted: 1:08 AM, January 29th (Wednesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I called OM twice on dday. At 2 am. A few days later, I asked XWW if he had the balls to talk to me. He did, and it was a funny conversation. He was gone after a month anyways.

Louisville, you got balls it seems like, so I think you'll be ok. The first steps to getting through this shit is the same whether you want to reconcile or not. In other words, don't put up with any bullshit.

[This message edited by wonderpets at 1:08 AM, January 29th (Wednesday)]

Posts: 204 | Registered: Jun 2012
♂ Member
Member # 28618
Default  Posted: 9:30 AM, January 29th (Wednesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

You need more than the 180. You need an attorney right now! It is time to start thinking about your needs and your future.

Anniversary party? Really?

Again, you need to start preparing yourself emotionally and financially for D (even if a D isn't the final outcome).

Good luck.

Posts: 346 | Registered: May 2010
♀ Member
Member # 40229
Default  Posted: 10:20 AM, January 29th (Wednesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Im confused. It's bad for a WS to break trust but that then gives the BS every right to break trust? That doesn't sound right. I'm questioning the hypocritical mindset.

Says I broke her trust, when I asked what he said she yelled none of my business

Noturfan, I was referring to this^^^. She was talking about him wanting to know what his wifeís private conversation was about with OM. He had every right to question her. She has no business having private conversations with any man other than her father, sons, brothers, or husband. I was also referring to his promise not to do anything to the other man. I took that as meaning that he wouldnít beat the shit out of the OM. And, he didnít. But, even if he had, I would never presume to judge another BS for their actions first time coming across the APÖ.I mean returning merchandise and happening to see the OM.
However, even if I had understood doing nothing to mean not even confronting the OM, well, you cannot hold a person to a promise made under duress. Even a court of law wonít take a signature or spoken word if the party is under duress. Hell, I canít remember even 20 percent of the stuff I said on DD and the first few days after. I was in shock. Iím sure he was too.
His wife made a conscious decision to make friendly with this OM. She made a conscious decision to give him her number, to take his number, to text, to call, and then later to spread her legs and who knows what else. She was under no trauma, no duress. Yet, she wants to play on words and twist what his promise was to her and then compare the vow breaking. Whatthehelleva.
I hope this clears things up and gives better perspective.
No offense taken.

I don't need further confirmation of what a fuckwit he is. I already have plenty, thanks very much. -SBB
D: 7/2/2014

Posts: 2335 | Registered: Aug 2013 | From: AZ
♀ Member
Member # 40229
Default  Posted: 10:28 AM, January 29th (Wednesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

It is time to hefty bag her crap. Be a gentlemen and hold the door open for her.... oh, and see that attorney ASAP.
She wants him, her loyalty is to him, let her have him. I promise, Unicorn fartland will crumble under reality.
Gagggg, I'm still reeling at his cowardice and his B... move to go running behind your wife's skirts and hide like a 2-year-old. Disgusting. She will come running back as soon as she wakes up.
NO woman wants a cowardly B....!
This crap can crush a brother's spirit.
Hang in there and know your self worth. Nobody deserves this WS BS.

I don't need further confirmation of what a fuckwit he is. I already have plenty, thanks very much. -SBB
D: 7/2/2014

Posts: 2335 | Registered: Aug 2013 | From: AZ
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