Cheating Hurt by Infidelity
Betrayal Wayward Donations lying
Welcome

Forums

Guidelines

Find a Local Counselor

The Healing Library

Media

Contact Us
lies
cover
In Association with Amazon.com
Support
Infidelity -
-
like us on facebook
You are not logged in. Login here or register.
[Register]
Newest Member: manwhocantbemove (45699)

Reconciliation Post Reply     Print Topic    
User Topic: Sex after emotional affair
EB1541
♀ Member
Member # 42143
Default  Posted: 6:40 PM, January 28th (Tuesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Is sex after an emotional affair healthy?(my husband was basically dating this other woman and taking her on dates). Possible physical affair. Idk.

When I first found out(3+ weeks) I felt like I wanted to all the time. I think I felt it would make us bond again, but now I feel little sexual desire for my husband. We still have sex but only 1 a week or less.

I am trying to work on R.

Can anyone else relate?

[This message edited by EB1541 at 6:40 PM, January 28th (Tuesday)]


D-day Jan. 2, 2014
Just married Nov. 3, 2013
My age: 22, his age:26
One wonderful son together - 11 months old

Posts: 87 | Registered: Jan 2014 | From: California
jo2love
♀ Moderator
Member # 31528
Default  Posted: 6:52 PM, January 28th (Tuesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

It sounds like you went though a period of HB. This is a normal. Below is a description from the Healing Library. I've included the link.

Upon being confronted with the undeniable reality that their most trusted spouse has betrayed them with another, some BS's experience an overwhelming sexual desire for their wayward spouse. Many couples claim to have had the best, most intense and loving sex of their relationship during the period following the discovery of an affair, (generally a few weeks to several months), often trying new things and experimenting in ways they had never considered before. This phenomenon is termed "Hysterical Bonding.

There is very little information on this phenomenon, but it appears to be a primal, instinctual way for the partners to reconnect and reclaim each other. While it may feel counter-intuitive to the BS; as if they are "rewarding" the WS for the affair, hysterical bonding can be a stepping stone to reconciliation. The intimacy encourages communication and a closeness that may otherwise take some time to re-build.

The occurrence or absence of hysterical bonding does not appear to be an indicator of successful reconciliation. Many other factors, such as the WS's remorse and openness are far more reliable indicators. Hysterical bonding is, however, normal, and nothing for the BS to be alarmed about or ashamed about experiencing. In fact, it has been said it is the one positive in an otherwise long and miserable experience, so enjoy it while it lasts.


http://www.survivinginfidelity.com/faq_bs.asp

Posts: 36405 | Registered: Mar 2011
EB1541
♀ Member
Member # 42143
Default  Posted: 6:58 PM, January 28th (Tuesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Wow that sounds exactly like the way I feel. I am going to do some more research! Thank you.


D-day Jan. 2, 2014
Just married Nov. 3, 2013
My age: 22, his age:26
One wonderful son together - 11 months old

Posts: 87 | Registered: Jan 2014 | From: California
WarpSpeed
♂ Member
Member # 32051
Default  Posted: 7:04 PM, January 28th (Tuesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

There's a big chunk of the community here that went through HB. One of the beauties of this place is having access to people with insight into what your feeling and experiencing. There will be lots more of that for you as you work through your healing.


Me: BS (51)
Her: fWW (50)
Married 27 years
Two sons in college
Empty closet and note on bed Jan 2010, She filed for D Mar 2010, D final May 2010, Actually had D-Day and found out why it all happened July 2010. Remarried on 23rd Anniv Aug 2010

Posts: 1518 | Registered: May 2011 | From: Dallas
Topic Posts: 4

Return to Forum: Reconciliation Post Reply to this Topic
adultry
Go to :
madness  
© 2002 - 2014 SurvivingInfidelity.com. All Rights Reserved.