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Newest Member: Icandoallthings (44333)

New Beginnings Post Reply     Print Topic    
User Topic: NB isn't easy
Iamacrab
Member
Member # 40410
Default  Posted: 6:48 PM, January 28th (Tuesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I really like new guy. He's fantastic so far, taking it slooow. But did I mention that I really like him?
XHs bday is very soon. The first one I haven't been a part of in 13 years. I feel so strange about it, not sad, but not detached enough maybe. I don't know.
New guy doesn't know about that part of my past yet.
I just don't want to bring it up. Maybe I still feel shame somehow that I was married to a person who did this to me repeatedly? I don't know. Something to discuss in IC.
I'm just talking, because I'm anxious about it all. I know I have to tell new guy in the nearer future, but it's like saying I'm damaged or something for loving XH. I don't know why I say that because I don't feel that way about any of your stories, just my own. Ughhh.

Posts: 103 | Registered: Aug 2013
Pass
♂ Member
Member # 38122
Default  Posted: 11:13 AM, January 29th (Wednesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I know what you mean about the X's birthday. On The Princess' birthday in December, I found out that she and her boyfriend were taking my boys over to her parents' for the traditional birthday party. That really cemented the fact that she was no longer just screwing around. I had been replaced.

In the dating I've done, I've also wrestled with when to tell them about my experience (including the infidelity, emotional abuse, depression, ADHD, suicide attempt). I don't want to scare anyone off before they've had the chance to find out that I'm worth it - but I also don't want them to feel like I've pulled a bait-and-switch on them.

Please let me know if you come up with the magical answer!

[This message edited by pass at 4:15 PM, January 29th, 2014 (Wednesday)]


Loyal spouse: Me; Disloyal spouse: The Princess
Two sons: Now 11 and 14
DDay: Nov 15, 2012
Separated: Mar 2, 2013 after married 17 years, now divorcing!

The best thing about hitting rock bottom is that everything after that looks fucking fabulous


Posts: 1723 | Registered: Jan 2013 | From: Ottawa, Ontario, Canada
Topic Posts: 2

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