Can things really be that bad for a WW that they decide, to give up on the M, their family, their children, their God?
Adultery destroys marriages and families....however, the real defeat is a reflection on where the WS got to.
They had such emptyness, such isolation, such pain, such "other something" inside them that cost them all hope....and they simply gave up and...........escaped.
In affect, I believe they gave up on themselves first and foremost....us, kids, God, careers, all were secondary to the initial quitting they did on themselves.
The first lie told in adultery is the lie the WS tells themselves.
Maybe it started from childhood when they said to themselves "My feelings dont matter". Maybe there was another point in time where they said to themselves "I have no feelings...feelings are for weak people". Maybe there was a point in their life where they said to themselves "I don't warrant being loved".
All of this is internal dialogue that influence a person. The answer to adultery is within the WS...both the "whys" and the "how not to" answers are just within them.
I pray for us all.
No matter if you are a man or a woman....with kids or no kids....long marriage short marriage....ONS or LTA.....it is tougher than anything I have experienced. It requires more courage than is humanly possible to endure.
You are feeling pain right now...tremendous pain.
You, like me, resort to thinking and philosophy when the pain is unbearable...
Keep the faith brother.....we got your back.