Cheating Hurt by Infidelity
Betrayal Wayward Donations lying
Welcome

Forums

Guidelines

Find a Local Counselor

The Healing Library

Media

Contact Us
lies
cover
In Association with Amazon.com
Support
Infidelity -
-
like us on facebook
You are not logged in. Login here or register.
[Register]
Newest Member: surprised1 (45370)

Just Found Out Post Reply     Print Topic    
User Topic: Emotionally gutted
Julez
♂ New Member
Member # 42272
Default  Posted: 10:26 AM, January 31st (Friday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

The other guy is single.


BS (me) 42
WS (her) 46
D-day January 30, 2014
Married 18 years
Together for 20 years
Three children 5, 8 and 15.
Also have a 24-yr old step daughter.

Posts: 10 | Registered: Jan 2014 | From: Southern Ontario Canada
Commanche1
♂ Member
Member # 39692
Default  Posted: 10:29 AM, January 31st (Friday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Julez, Don't like the affair? Burn it down! Affairs are like vampires, they thrive in the darkness, Expose this affair, particularly to friends of the marriage and the other man's wife if he has one. Tell your wife that she must be prepared to live somewhere else. She doesn't get to cheat and then come home.

Posts: 71 | Registered: Jun 2013
norabird
♀ Member
Member # 42092
Default  Posted: 10:32 AM, January 31st (Friday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I am in such a deep funk and almost a state of denial but I know I will snap out of this. I just need a few days.

Yes, you will get there. We have total faith in you (think I can speak collectively here!). If it takes more than a few days, don't be disappointed with yourself. Just do your best, keep your chin up, and hang in there. (((hugs)))


Sit. Feast on your life.

Posts: 4196 | Registered: Jan 2014 | From: NYC
Sadmumma
♀ Member
Member # 42192
Default  Posted: 11:49 AM, January 31st (Friday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Julez. So sorry to hear that...

I totally understand you wanting an apology... You want her to feel remorse for the pain she's causing.

Side note.... A marriage is only worth saving if both of you want to save it. Her and the OM clearly have history.

Protect yourself and your assets.


On any given day you have the power to say "my story is not going to end like this"
Me 41 BS
Him 41 WH
6 kids...7 weeks, 5,7,9,11&13
D day jan 29th 2014

Posts: 536 | Registered: Jan 2014 | From: Land down under
toomanyregrets
♂ Member
Member # 37740
Default  Posted: 2:31 PM, February 1st (Saturday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I'm sorry your here.

Have you contacted a lawyer ?
Talk to as many as possible, that way your WW will to search for one that won't have a conflict of interest.
You need to know your rights when your WW files.


BH - 64
fWW - 60

"Affairs are not mistakes, they are a series of deliberate choices." - CrappyLife


Posts: 484 | Registered: Dec 2012 | From: Upstate NY
WarpSpeed
♂ Member
Member # 32051
Default  Posted: 4:25 PM, February 1st (Saturday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I've been to through something very similar, old HS BF, reconnected on FB, met up on a trip out of town. Difference is she came home and moved out while I was on a business trip and left a note mentioning none of the old BF part.

The devastation part you're going through right now is an unreal low and pain you never imagined you'd feel. It is hard to see it now, but you will get through it.

None of it makes sense, but know that it isn't you. She's broken.

You are getting a lot of good advice on this thread. Take care of YOURSELF and your children. Your healing is the priority here.

She may, or may not, pull her head out of her ass. While that may be the thing you want most (it was for me) it isn't something you can control. So you have to make yourself your firts priority while that part plays itself out.

I can tell you that mine wound up in divorce and THEN she woke up, we reconciled and remarried. That's not real normal. I can also tell you that I was absolutely going to be happy and have a good life with or without the reconcliation. When you get through these early weeks/months of pain and devastation, that is the part you need to hold firmly too. You can and will have a good life.

hang in there

[This message edited by WarpSpeed at 4:26 PM, February 1st (Saturday)]


Me: BS (51)
Her: fWW (50)
Married 27 years
Two sons in college
Empty closet and note on bed Jan 2010, She filed for D Mar 2010, D final May 2010, Actually had D-Day and found out why it all happened July 2010. Remarried on 23rd Anniv Aug 2010

Posts: 1499 | Registered: May 2011 | From: Dallas
kalimata
♂ Member
Member # 42104
Default  Posted: 9:14 PM, February 1st (Saturday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

The other guy is single.

Can you find family of OM? Or close friends?

You have to get close to the OM to bust up the affair. Does he use Facebook or other social websites? Create profile and pretend to be a long-time classmate. Once you find out his social network you can use this to your advantage once you expose.

Run a background check on OM. Have you considered a private investigator?

How is your WW acting? Is she any more remorseful or still acting the same?

Have you talked to a lawyer yet? Did you get papers drawn up?


Posts: 191 | Registered: Jan 2014 | From: USA
Calabro
♂ Member
Member # 8809
Default  Posted: 1:43 AM, February 2nd (Sunday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

In order for him to come in she needs to prove she is financially secure and guarantee his stays will not be burden to others. Affidavit is also required and your income tax records. She may need your signature for the financial records she has to submit. You could block him coming over but marriage if she is not willing is over and there is nothing you can do about


NO ONE CAN MAKE YOU FEEL INFERIOR WITHOUT YOUR CONSENT

Posts: 65 | Registered: Nov 2005
mesoSTUPID
♀ Member
Member # 35679
Default  Posted: 2:59 AM, February 2nd (Sunday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Julez, I'm so sorry you're here. I promise you it gets better. I am 2 years from D-day. How you feel on week 1 is completely different than how much better you will feel 100 weeks from now... YOU WILL SURVIVE THIS!

Listen to Kalimata he is offering you solid advise.

*Kalimata* I have a question... if OM is single, should he locate the parents and tell them their son is having an A with his wife/mother of his children and that the children will suffer from this craziness?

Hang in there Julez - there are many good people on this site that want and will help you.


ME (BS): 41 and so stupid!
Him (WH): 43. He's my dragon slayer but my heart wasn't supposed to be slayed!

Posts: 195 | Registered: May 2012 | From: Miami
kalimata
♂ Member
Member # 42104
Default  Posted: 12:00 PM, February 2nd (Sunday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

*Kalimata* I have a question... if OM is single, should he locate the parents and tell them their son is having an A with his wife/mother of his children and that the children will suffer from this craziness?

Mesostupid: ABSOLUTELY. I would out this piece of shyte OM to the entire world. His parents need to know what type of kid they raised who would cheat like this. What type of low-life would go and actively date a woman who is married and with kids? Even if he is single the entire world needs to know his deplorable integrity.

I would go as far as posting this POS on Cheaterville.com. Once he is posted on cheaterville, every time someone does a Google search with his name, then the cheater info will be revealed. This is especially handy nowadays since employers routinely run a google search as part of a basic background check. Even though infidelity is not illegal, most managers would not want to hire someone with this type of tarnish on their record.


Posts: 191 | Registered: Jan 2014 | From: USA
Topic Posts: 30
Pages: 1 · 2

Return to Forum: Just Found Out Post Reply to this Topic
adultry
Go to :
madness  
© 2002 - 2014 SurvivingInfidelity.com. All Rights Reserved.