he says he loves me so much that he wants to please ME "doubely"
Your WS sounds like a "dry cheater" and it appears his urge has returned and this is his way to have his cake, eat it and not have to worry about being caught.
He's so insistent, that concerns me that it's beyond fantasy.
Former 80s Icon wishful thinking
he won't stop bringing up, during lovemaking, having another pe--is with us
The bottom line is that he is not respecting YOUR feelings that you have communicated with him. You are communicating this to him, and he is not accepting your feelings.
While your sex life may have improved post A, this leads me to believe that communication hasn't really improved, but the illusion of it certainly has.
Illusions are impossible to maintain forever. Eventually reality seeps back in. I'm thinking along the lines of what Samantha has suggested.
Is there any way to find out what he does on his lunch hour? Electronic devices...ipad, smartphone etc..
He isn't listening to you, yet he says he wants this for you, even though you have said "no"....and that is why it is so concerning.
He's either lying to himself or lying to you...or both.
But he won't stop bringing up, during lovemaking, having another pe--is with us
This sounds exactly precisely like what my ex started doing. He assured me it was all about me and how much he would enjoy seeing me be pleasured. I felt we had made such progress in our R and I hated to let what he was making me feel like were my inhibitions get in the way. It was only years after we divorced and so much healing had taken place that I could see how messed up what he was doing to me was. He should have dropped it the second I said I didn't think it would be a good idea. If you read my profile you might see some things there ring familiar. Feel free to PM me as well.
[This message edited by SI Staff at 11:18 PM, February 2nd (Sunday)]
I'm not judging on your position, but on the way you put it. Seriously. Unnecessarily cutting.
And out of character for you, too...
There is a lot I could say..but I'd you have said no..then stand by that. My opinion is that any man who is willing to share his wife with another man ...has no respect for his wife.. not as his wife or as a woman. He wantsto watch his wife be treated like a whore.. its live porn..and she is no longer his wife..just a piece of meat.
I was going to be his bait..hey come fuck my hot wife..oh..and I might touch you to..OK?
I think you should keep your eyes open. Not all men who like this shit are bi or gay..but some are. Even those you have know for 15 years. Had anyone told me he would cheat with a man, I would have laughed.
Not laughing now.
..that feeling you get in your stomach, when you heart's broken. It's like all the butterflies just died.