I know right? If things have changed and he's getting back with his ex, for whatever reason, damn dude just nut up and say so. He and I had been very open and not pulled a single punch with each other - until this. Him being honest about it would still have hurt, but it would have hurt way less than being sneaky or childish or just poofing without a word. And the friendship might have remained intact. But just to disappear like that? Rude is a polite term for it.
My sister's had a front row seat for all this. Her take was that he's caved and gotten back with his ex to make his kids happy and the ex has insisted I be blocked. Whatever the reasons behind the crappy actions are, they to me at this point are immaterial, it still blows.
I'm glad we didn't get any further down this road, I can tell you that. I would have hated to experience this after investing months or more into this man. At least he showed his true colors early on. The reason for it doesn't matter anymore.
I can definitely say this - Once I get burnt by someone and/or decide I'm done, they don't get another shot. This door is closed, permanently, because of this; not the scenario itself, but the way he chose to handle it. I don't give a damn if he felt like he had no other option. He handled this very very poorly. His loss.
This experience has taught me two very valuable things -
One, that I really need to take a close look within myself and seriously tweak some things. Up until now I've been an all-or-nothing type where giving my heart is concerned. Need to rethink that. Maybe find a middle ground somehow where I'm not locking myself away in a tower forever, but also not going 'all in' until much further in the process to give myself a chance to quite frankly weed out the cray-cray. Something I will be talking to IC about on the 12th.
Two, that I need to spin my thinking a bit. Like the song "Baby I Call Hell" by Deap Vally goes:
"And if you wanna serve me / Show me you deserve me / 'Cause if you really love me / Be a bigger man than you"
To this point in my romantic life I seem to have taken the approach of someone being interested = that someone automatically being worth MY interest in return! And I honestly never realized that until my baby sister lovingly 2x4'd me, telling me I need to (a)give myself more credit and recognize how wonderful I am and (b)'stop letting people who aren't worthy of me 'steal my light' and instead hold out for someone whose light shines at least as bright as mine.
Man I have work to do...
Me: BS (43)Him: EX, aka "The Dink"(50)
D-Day#1 12/22/11. D-Day#2 5/23/2013.
Divorce final 2/10/14.
Throw me to the wolves and I'll return leading the pack.