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New Beginnings Post Reply     Print Topic    
User Topic: You were right guys...Boy admitting that SUcks!!!
PhoenixRising88
♀ Member
Member # 35214
Default  Posted: 5:56 PM, February 2nd (Sunday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Well...at least now I know he's still alive; I've been unfriended and blocked on FB.

You know what? Fuck him. My only mistake was stepping out on faith toward him to begin with. I thought that perhaps us being friends for literally years would withstand whatever else was happening. I was wrong.

His loss, not mine. Onward and upward.

[This message edited by PhoenixRising88 at 6:27 PM, February 2nd (Sunday)]


Me: BS (43)Him: EX, aka "The Dink"(50)
D-Day#1 12/22/11. D-Day#2 5/23/2013.

Divorce final 2/10/14.

Throw me to the wolves and I'll return leading the pack.


Posts: 424 | Registered: Apr 2012 | From: North Texas
cmego
♀ Member
Member # 30346
Default  Posted: 7:42 PM, February 2nd (Sunday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

geesh….my guess, if you think the kids are pushing for him and his ex to R….then maybe he doesn't want you to see what is going on.

I"m sorry. What a crappy move to pull.

Live and learn, its all you can do.


me...BS, 43 years old, 2 small kids
WS, 41, multiple gay affairs
M 15 years, together 17
Divorced

"For whatever we lose, like a you or a me, it's always ourselves we find in the sea" ee cummings


Posts: 4004 | Registered: Dec 2010 | From: Virginia
FaithFool
♀ Member
Member # 20150
Default  Posted: 7:52 PM, February 2nd (Sunday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Wow, uh, yeah. That's a no-class move.

He did not handle that well at all.


DDay: June 15, 2008
Mistakenly married Mr. Superfreak
20 years of OWs, WTF?
Divorced Dec 26, 2011
"Life is a shipwreck, but we must not forget
to sing in the lifeboats". -- Voltaire

Posts: 17109 | Registered: Jul 2008 | From: Canada
ruinedandbroken
♀ Member
Member # 29250
Default  Posted: 9:40 PM, February 2nd (Sunday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Well...at least now I know he's still alive; I've been unfriended and blocked on FB.

Wow! What an ass!


“People who cheat feel that life is for the taking, and that everyone deserves happiness no matter what the cost. I must remember these tricks if I ever have my soul surgically removed."
Me: BS 42. Him: WH 41 2 Kids 6&9
Married 14 yrs Together 21

Posts: 1559 | Registered: Aug 2010
PhoenixRising88
♀ Member
Member # 35214
Default  Posted: 9:48 PM, February 2nd (Sunday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I know right? If things have changed and he's getting back with his ex, for whatever reason, damn dude just nut up and say so. He and I had been very open and not pulled a single punch with each other - until this. Him being honest about it would still have hurt, but it would have hurt way less than being sneaky or childish or just poofing without a word. And the friendship might have remained intact. But just to disappear like that? Rude is a polite term for it.

My sister's had a front row seat for all this. Her take was that he's caved and gotten back with his ex to make his kids happy and the ex has insisted I be blocked. Whatever the reasons behind the crappy actions are, they to me at this point are immaterial, it still blows.

I'm glad we didn't get any further down this road, I can tell you that. I would have hated to experience this after investing months or more into this man. At least he showed his true colors early on. The reason for it doesn't matter anymore.

I can definitely say this - Once I get burnt by someone and/or decide I'm done, they don't get another shot. This door is closed, permanently, because of this; not the scenario itself, but the way he chose to handle it. I don't give a damn if he felt like he had no other option. He handled this very very poorly. His loss.

This experience has taught me two very valuable things -

One, that I really need to take a close look within myself and seriously tweak some things. Up until now I've been an all-or-nothing type where giving my heart is concerned. Need to rethink that. Maybe find a middle ground somehow where I'm not locking myself away in a tower forever, but also not going 'all in' until much further in the process to give myself a chance to quite frankly weed out the cray-cray. Something I will be talking to IC about on the 12th.

Two, that I need to spin my thinking a bit. Like the song "Baby I Call Hell" by Deap Vally goes:

"And if you wanna serve me / Show me you deserve me / 'Cause if you really love me / Be a bigger man than you"

To this point in my romantic life I seem to have taken the approach of someone being interested = that someone automatically being worth MY interest in return! And I honestly never realized that until my baby sister lovingly 2x4'd me, telling me I need to (a)give myself more credit and recognize how wonderful I am and (b)'stop letting people who aren't worthy of me 'steal my light' and instead hold out for someone whose light shines at least as bright as mine.

Man I have work to do...

[This message edited by PhoenixRising88 at 9:56 PM, February 2nd (Sunday)]


Me: BS (43)Him: EX, aka "The Dink"(50)
D-Day#1 12/22/11. D-Day#2 5/23/2013.

Divorce final 2/10/14.

Throw me to the wolves and I'll return leading the pack.


Posts: 424 | Registered: Apr 2012 | From: North Texas
Topic Posts: 25
Pages: 1 · 2

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