It is really hard to interpret from a transcript of that exchange.
Set aside whether you did or didn't respond and his assumptions based on his perceptions. You guys need to talk openly and honestly about what you're feeling and do less guessing and assuming.
Could be I'm reading that wrong. Hang in there.
BUT, that passive-aggressive shit has got to stop. He should have said something like "Sooooooo... whaddaya think? Wanna make a plan? Get a sitter for the kids?"
[This message edited by Lucky2HaveMe at 4:49 PM, February 1st (Saturday)]
I don't know. Its like I have to jump through hoops, dance a jig or go on and on about what a great idea he had. Stuff like this happens all the time. He takes things I say and twists them or he will take something I DIDN'T say and use it later for his reasons why he did something. Its just nuts. Pure & simple. Thought I wanted to R but after last night (he got drunk) and then today, I'm going back to the 180.
YOU can change this by how you react now...even one person can do it so go ahead, react in a postive manner, engage with him, try to see the love and go forward as best you can looking at the goal of happiness.....this is not always easy to do but ACTIONS make the marriage not just the words so think less and DO more....I try to follow my own advise...aint always easy I know
What I believe now:
My failure to deliver gave my wife a reason to be angry with me. Being angry at me lifted her.
Spontaneous requests of going out in pubic supported her facade. The public sees what a perfect wife she was.
Recovery is building a pyramid of inference from which to climb and see clearer, and heavy usage of the reflexive loop.