Cheating Hurt by Infidelity
Betrayal Wayward Donations lying
Welcome

Forums

Guidelines

Find a Local Counselor

The Healing Library

Media

Contact Us
lies
cover
In Association with Amazon.com
Support
Infidelity -
-
like us on facebook
You are not logged in. Login here or register.
[Register]
Newest Member: whathappensnext (45075)

New Beginnings Post Reply     Print Topic    
User Topic: Buying a home, what a headache
idkam
♀ Member
Member # 18375
Default  Posted: 7:15 PM, February 1st (Saturday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

If I knew I/we would have to go through all of this chit I would have not gone forward with buying a house. We have been going through this since Sept of last year. The house was suppose to be ready in Dec. Thus far my SO had to prove he's a naturalized citizen,(he's been in America since he was 13, he's 58 now). He also had to get the divorce decree's from both his ex's to prove he is divorced from them. The reason he has to prove this is because they are still carrying his last name. Both have been divorced since 1980's & 1990's. Really, I've never heard of this before.

I also had to explain why I moved from one street to another. Also, I had to explain why my last name was IDKAM to Current name (I got divorced and went back to my maiden name). We had to pay all credit cards (which was two and they were mine).

WTH!!

They also asked for three months of bank statements. This was all to get qualified. Now they want SO to pay what he owe to the IRS ($3,900), which he'd already made arrangements to pay and have been making payments. The loan officer also want another three months of bank statements from me plus a deferment letter from the Univ.

I had planned on taking a long vacation before applying for my graduate degree. But since the house still isn't ready and the deferment on my loan expires Feb. 26th, I have to get into college so I can get another deferment on my loan. Grrrr!!!!

Soooo in the last three weeks I had to apply to colleges, write letters of recommendations (3), acceptance letter, and pay application fees.

Now we are looking for another loan company. SO just met with a friend of ours on Friday who's a loan officer and we will be making a decision next week. One of the positive things he said was the house isn't ready so going through another loan company wouldn't be a bad thing.

What are your thoughts on this my SI friends.


People come into your life for a Reason, Season or a Lifetime..
Divorced

Posts: 1798 | Registered: Feb 2008 | From: Texas
newlysingle
♀ Member
Member # 38735
Default  Posted: 12:39 AM, February 2nd (Sunday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Wow, that really does seem abnormally lengthy. The Gnat and I bought two homes during our marriage and I don't remember it being that big of a deal regarding the mortgage either time. The last house we bought was in 2010, so not too long ago.


BW - Me (37)
XWH - (37) The Gnat
OW - Some dumb whore he picked up in another state and moved here here. Known as Hello Kitty.
M for 8 years, together for 10
1 DD (5), 1 DS (1 year)
Dday 3/13
Divorced 9/20/13

Posts: 903 | Registered: Mar 2013
cmego
♀ Member
Member # 30346
Default  Posted: 6:33 AM, February 2nd (Sunday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Oh, I've been in house buying hell myself.

I was approved for the loan, put a contract on a house, then told I had lost my loan.

After a nail biting 3 days, I was finally approved. Part of the problem is ex and I still own a rental house together. We can't sell it because it is "under water" still. We can't refinance it into his name only…because it is "under water" and you have to have 20% equity (and be a primary residence) to refinance. So, we had the deeds "quit-claimed", so my name is on the mortgage only, but everything else shows ex is financially responsible.

Needless to say, it has been hellish.

It is a very different world than 10 years ago, I've NEVER not been approved for a loan. NEVER had these problems, and I have perfect credit. I was applying to MY bank, which I've had 3 loans with, never made a late payment, NOTHING on my credit at all. And I was turned down!

Finally, they found some loophole about the rental house, and it was approved.


me...BS, 43 years old, 2 small kids
WS, 41, multiple gay affairs
M 15 years, together 17
Divorced

"For whatever we lose, like a you or a me, it's always ourselves we find in the sea" ee cummings


Posts: 4157 | Registered: Dec 2010 | From: South
bluelady
♀ Member
Member # 11061
Default  Posted: 6:58 AM, February 2nd (Sunday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

That seems....lengthy.

SO and I just bought a house together. All we needed was income tax returns for the last two years and a current bank statement to be approved. That took a little over 24 hours. At signing, they took my word that I was divorced (and I'm still carrying XH's last name).

[This message edited by bluelady at 6:59 AM, February 2nd (Sunday)]


Me (BS): 35

Divorced


Posts: 1446 | Registered: Jun 2006 | From: a little bit of everywhere
idkam
♀ Member
Member # 18375
Default  Posted: 11:16 AM, February 2nd (Sunday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

SO and I are starting to believe its a bit too lengthy. It feels like they want us to back out of it and we are very close to doing just that.

Blue- Are you kidding me? Is that all you had to do? Now I'm really pissed.

Thanks everyone for responding, I was beginning to think this was a normal routine.


People come into your life for a Reason, Season or a Lifetime..
Divorced

Posts: 1798 | Registered: Feb 2008 | From: Texas
bluelady
♀ Member
Member # 11061
Default  Posted: 2:36 PM, February 2nd (Sunday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Yep. Well, to be honest, it was less than that. They ran our credit reports, SO needed two years worth of income tax returns and a bank statement. Because my accounts are with the bank we got our mortgage from, all they needed from me was a pay stub. And, the lawyer wanted to be sure I was divorced, but he took my word for it.


Me (BS): 35

Divorced


Posts: 1446 | Registered: Jun 2006 | From: a little bit of everywhere
hopeandchange
♂ Member
Member # 33287
Default  Posted: 7:29 PM, February 2nd (Sunday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Times seem to have changed. Just closed last week and it was the most difficult it has ever been

Initially approved to refinance marital home, took almost three months
Changed to a purchase. New department and process starts over
Tax returns, brokeragege statement, bank statement and divorce decree
Declined on original terms one week prior to close
Required higher down payment and would not accept funds in brokerage account
Required six months cash in bank account to cover mortgage payment on marital home. WW lives there, makes payment and we have 80% equity
Would not consider bonus income because employer would not verify. It was shown on pay stub, W-2, and tax returns
Required "proof" of funds electronically transferred from brokeragege account

The only thing worse was my real estate agent. And my dog decided to christen the carpet

Good luck and enjoy your new abode

H&C


BH (me, 50)
WS (her, 48)
Divorced!
3 wonderful teens
Heading for Happiness

Posts: 405 | Registered: Sep 2011
idkam
♀ Member
Member # 18375
Default  Posted: 7:50 PM, February 12th (Wednesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

So we tried going through quicken loans and everything was going fine until it went to the under writers... I got a list of documents they need from me... I cannot believe they are asking me to liquidate over $7800 of my 401K.... WTH!!! I give up, we are going back to our original plan to buy a condi or townhome....

If that wasnt enough we have to be out if this apt by eod Sat because they leased my apt...


People come into your life for a Reason, Season or a Lifetime..
Divorced

Posts: 1798 | Registered: Feb 2008 | From: Texas
Topic Posts: 8

Return to Forum: New Beginnings Post Reply to this Topic
adultry
Go to :
madness  
© 2002 - 2014 SurvivingInfidelity.com. All Rights Reserved.