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Newest Member: brierpatch (45434)

Just Found Out Post Reply     Print Topic    
User Topic: devestated
♀ New Member
Member # 42312
Default  Posted: 3:29 PM, February 5th (Wednesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Ive aske him to leave for a while.
He is not happy but says he will do whatever it takes. He hasnt told anyone and says he will go to a hotel. Im terrified what he might get up too but im going with it.
He is going to come most nights for bedtime then go again. Some nights he will be "working late" all which the kids are used too so hopefully they wont notice.
Its the hardest thing ive had to do but i feel very calm.
Im going to see the dr. I feel like my insides are jumping and my neck is hurting alot.
Ive said he needs to give me a better reason as to why this happened. Twice. We cant fix it if i cant understand what was broken.
Why he put everything at risk? Our health?
He is getting tested but they said he needs to go back in 2 weeks as there is an incubation period.
The weekend is going to be tough.

Posts: 10 | Registered: Feb 2014 | From: uk
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Member # 39001
Default  Posted: 4:03 PM, February 5th (Wednesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Hi Broken.

I'm so sorry that you have need to be here. Everyone here knows the pain you are experiencing right now. We have all felt the dagger that ripped through us after discovering that the partner we chose for life betrayed us. It is pure agony.

Your post really triggered me because my husband said the same thing. He really believed that I would never find out. He told me he always wore a condom but, somehow I managed to get and STD...twice.

The thing is....when he says he is experimenting,exactly what does that mean? Variety? Just sex? It sounds like he is seeing what it feels like to be with a prostitute. He never gave a thought to losing his health, his wife or his children. Now that you know, please don't dismiss it as a "mistake". You need to keep looking because, I agree with the others that this is not something new. It usually takes a little while to get caught because the wife never suspects.

Go get tested pronto and insist that he goes too. He needs to bring the test results to you on the lab's letterhead. Don't believe what he is telling you. You want to but, don't. He is in major damage control mode and will try to convince you that it's not as bad as you are making it out to be. It is bad and will take a very long time to sort it all out so be careful about promising R right now.

Yes, at the very least he belongs on the couch. I totally wish I had made mine leave on dday but, I didn't know what I was doing and hind sight is always 20/20. He is the one who is afraid. Show him just how strong you are. Don't be afraid of causing him to go running to her. She doesn't want him, unless he pays by the hour.

Keep posting honey. This is a rough ride.

BS - 58
SAWH - 61 multiple encounters with prostitutes and other sex workers
Married 38 years
Dday - 2/19/13 - found the emails
He promised me Heaven then put me thru hell

Posts: 761 | Registered: Apr 2013
♀ Member
Member # 3903
Default  Posted: 5:32 PM, February 5th (Wednesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

You should not have to worry about what he might do if you justifiably ask that he respect your request to leave at this time. If he wants to do what it takes then this will not be an opportunity for him to be unfaithful again.

There is a wonderful life on the other side of hell.

Posts: 1680 | Registered: Mar 2004
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Member # 42312
Default  Posted: 9:45 AM, February 6th (Thursday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I feel cornered. I dont think i can bear not knowing where he is or who he is with.
Im in a panic. I know i shouldnt care but i think it will be worse than having him at home.
I feel he has won and im too weak to fight it.

Posts: 10 | Registered: Feb 2014 | From: uk
Topic Posts: 24
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