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Newest Member: Sleepy (44725)

New Beginnings Post Reply     Print Topic    
User Topic: Why is NC is F*&king hard when its family!????
little turtle
♀ Member
Member # 15584
Default  Posted: 1:22 PM, February 6th (Thursday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

it has been awesome to not have to feel guilty for once to go for a run after work!!!!

Keep it up. I know this was a hard decision for you to make, but I think it's pretty clear that putting Piper into day care was a great choice all around. You can do things you need to do for yourself which will help you to be a better mom and keep you in control of your life!

Keep it up!


Failure is success if we learn from it.

Posts: 4149 | Registered: Aug 2007 | From: michigan
She11ybeanz
♀ Member
Member # 27457
Default  Posted: 2:00 PM, February 6th (Thursday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

My therapist could tell a huge difference in me this week...I've worked out 4 times...twice with weights and 2 runs... and I feel great....melancholy... but good... about 80% better than last week! That's a start right!? I feel more like myself....even though I'm still sad about what's going on.


"Sometimes your knight in shining armor ...is just a douchebag in tin foil!!"

ME - BW - 35
HIM - XWH - 39
D day: November 15th, 2009
Married: 5 Years, together 8
Divorced: December 13th, 2010
New Beginning: Piper/8-3-12


Posts: 2717 | Registered: Feb 2010 | From: Virginia
cissi
♀ Member
Member # 21737
Default  Posted: 3:59 PM, February 6th (Thursday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Frankly, I would worry about you if you didn't feel bad and sad about this situation. Just shows you are a normal, good person who has a heart. But, having a heart and feeling sad is still no reason to surround yourself with the crap you had to put up with.

Perhaps someday you and your sister can agree to just be polite and cordial around each other but I don't think that time is now.


Posts: 1395 | Registered: Nov 2008 | From: Southern California
She11ybeanz
♀ Member
Member # 27457
Default  Posted: 6:09 PM, February 6th (Thursday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Perhaps someday you and your sister can agree to just be polite and cordial around each other but I don't think that time is now.

I agree. I don't think so either. Personally I think she needs professional help. Like therapy like me but more intense and often. It actually crossed my mind that she slashed her own tires just to make me look bad....which is scary that the thought even crossed my mind!!!


"Sometimes your knight in shining armor ...is just a douchebag in tin foil!!"

ME - BW - 35
HIM - XWH - 39
D day: November 15th, 2009
Married: 5 Years, together 8
Divorced: December 13th, 2010
New Beginning: Piper/8-3-12


Posts: 2717 | Registered: Feb 2010 | From: Virginia
Amazonia
♀ Member
Member # 32810
Default  Posted: 7:06 PM, February 6th (Thursday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Do you think setting a timeline would help you? Like, decide (but don't tell your family or anyone who would tell them, or possibly no one but your IC and maybe us), that you will wait six months, or a year, or two years, before making or accepting any effort to reconnect with your sister. Don't tell your family because it's not a matter of her waiting you out, it's a matter of you taking the time you need to learn what healthy feels like, what you want your boundaries to be, and how to enforce them. But a timeline can sometimes help, because it reinforces the idea that this doesn't have to be forever, but also let's you focus on where you are, instead of constantly reevaluating whether you're ready for the next step. If you tell yourself you'll reevaluate after six months or a year, it frees you to stop thinking about whether you need to reevaluate now. Does that idea make sense or resonate to you?


"You yourself deserve your love and affection as much as anybody in the universe." -Buddha
"Let's face it, life is a crap shoot." -Sad in AZ

Posts: 13690 | Registered: Jul 2011
Topic Posts: 25
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