Everyday he emails or texts "going to the warehouse to eat/read. I love you." One night last week he was reading late and said "I am going to stop at chapter 5" put a bookmark in and we went to bed. And I have received the "going to eat/read" message every day since. But I just looked in his work bag and the book is there - still bookmarked at chapter 5.
So he is not reading it but telling me he is. It is possible he is taking a break from it and doesn't want me to be mad so he lied. Still a lie. It is possible he is rereading pages - not likely. Where my mind goes is - if he is lying about that what else is he lying about. They work together so I have no way to monitor communication there. I can track his location on his phone but for all I know he could leave it in his bag right next to the unread book and be at her apartment during lunch. Maybe all this transparency is just a cover.
Just needed to write this out before I ask him about it so my head didn't explode.
NJF is a difficult book. Hell, R is hard work. Allow that processing this stuff and changing long held attitudes takes time. Maybe he just needs time to process what he has read so far. While I don't think you should put those words in his mouth, it's possible this is part of the hold up.
Ask him to please continue reading it, for the sake of your recovery.
Particularly when the subject of the lie is something you've identified as non-negotiable.
There's just no room for any form of dishonesty.
That said, Trac-Fone's long-term (well, permanent) stall on page 17 of After the Affair was pretty concrete evidence, to me, of his priorities. He didn't value our marriage enough to read a book.
That says quite a lot, really.
You've got double trouble: a husband who's still comfortable lying to you, and one who's unwilling to expend even the minimal effort necessary to read a book.
While I won't be giving him a chapter quiz I did ask him to talk to me about what he is reading and how it makes him feel, good or bad. We shall see.
"A tree falls the way it leans.....be careful which way you lean"
But for mine, ultimately, it was a load of crap because he really didn't get what was in the 1st 3 chapters - especially if he spent that much time on them trying to soak them in.
Sorry CantLoseHope - not remarried to the same man. This is WH#2.