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Newest Member: brokenwildhorse (44210)

New Beginnings Post Reply     Print Topic    
User Topic: Wow. Just wow.
cmego
♀ Member
Member # 30346
Default  Posted: 10:04 AM, February 8th (Saturday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I get it, and I mean that the "unhealthy part" may just be the "goals don't match and we can't change that…"

I'm sorry you are hurting, but it is just an unfortunate part of the grieving process. It is perfectly fine to cry, and it might be better because you do need to get it out...

The song is "Let Her Go" by Passenger

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RBumgq5yVrA&feature=kp


me...BS, 43 years old, 2 small kids
WS, 41, multiple gay affairs
M 15 years, together 17
Divorced

"For whatever we lose, like a you or a me, it's always ourselves we find in the sea" ee cummings


Posts: 4004 | Registered: Dec 2010 | From: Virginia
I.will.survive
♀ Member
Member # 34677
Default  Posted: 11:59 AM, February 8th (Saturday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Yep, that's for sure the song that has been playing in my mind on repeat all.night.long.

I'm trying to stay focused on my little man today. (Kind of failing though.) Baking his birthday cake and trying to hold onto him as long as possible before turning him over to his dad for the night.

Thanks for your support. It helps.


Posts: 530 | Registered: Jan 2012 | From: east coast
better4me
♀ Member
Member # 30341
Default  Posted: 12:36 PM, February 8th (Saturday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

(((iwillsurvive)))

Enjoy the birthday cake baking. Can you go out with a friend tonight...a movie or dinner or listening to some music, something that seems like "normal" and where you don't have to talk too much...

I think it helps to not be alone too much when I'm feeling the way you're feeling today.


DDay 11/17/2010 BW:52
Divorced

Posts: 3004 | Registered: Dec 2010 | From: Iowa
I.will.survive
♀ Member
Member # 34677
Default  Posted: 12:46 PM, February 8th (Saturday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Yes, I have plans to hang out with my friend who lives in this neighborhood. She's been around through my marriage and divorce and she knew my boyfriend so she "gets" it.

*sigh* I know I'll read back through this one day and think...good grief, girl, get it together.


Posts: 530 | Registered: Jan 2012 | From: east coast
I.will.survive
♀ Member
Member # 34677
Default  Posted: 7:59 AM, February 10th (Monday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I received a heartfelt and sincere apology last night via email.

He said he wasn't sure I would read it but he had to try.

I haven't responded yet but I will. I do forgive him for his hurtful and insecure move. Although it ruined our friendship for me.

I've been wanting to know if he's ok. He's not.

This weekend was hard for me. But like my user name says....I.will.survive.

Thanks for the support!


Posts: 530 | Registered: Jan 2012 | From: east coast
cmego
♀ Member
Member # 30346
Default  Posted: 8:35 AM, February 10th (Monday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Uggg….that is always the hard part. The want to go in and "rescue" them from their poor choices. I get that. But, you know it isn't the right thing to do. You can be kind to him, and thank him for the apology, but you can't go in and rescue. He has to do that on his own.

Obviously when people do stupid things, they are fighting their own demons and you/we can't…help….them. If they are going to eventually be in a healthy relationship, they have to make their own good choices.

This is why divorce rates for second marriages is something like 75%. People don't fix the issues that were in their marriage, or the pain that comes after the D, jump into new relationships and *surprise*, the issues are still there.

You did the right thing, but I know you are hurting because you miss him. It will get better. ((I.will.survive))

>>>>

*sigh* I know I'll read back through this one day and think...good grief, girl, get it together.
<<<< this made me laugh. There are days that I think that about myself too.


me...BS, 43 years old, 2 small kids
WS, 41, multiple gay affairs
M 15 years, together 17
Divorced

"For whatever we lose, like a you or a me, it's always ourselves we find in the sea" ee cummings


Posts: 4004 | Registered: Dec 2010 | From: Virginia
Topic Posts: 26
Pages: 1 · 2

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