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User Topic: new discovery, and i've lost it....
♀ Member
Member # 42356
Default  Posted: 1:22 PM, February 6th (Thursday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Are these suggestions, suggesting that I D him and move on, end of story?

"A tree falls the way it careful which way you lean"

Posts: 172 | Registered: Feb 2014
♀ Guide
Member # 33226
Default  Posted: 3:17 PM, February 6th (Thursday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Honey, I didn't see anyone suggesting that.

You get to make the choices that are right for you. You may not know what's right yet, and that's ok. This is a huge trauma, and not knowing for sure whether there's a future OC in the picture exponentially complicates things.

What I do see is people telling you to focus on yourself. You are hurting. You sound overwhelmed, and rightfully so. Don't worry about anything other than taking care of yourself at this moment. ((((CLH))))

You can call me NIK

"If you carry joy in your heart, you can heal any moment."
- Carlos Santana

Posts: 25850 | Registered: Aug 2011
♀ Member
Member # 42356
Default  Posted: 10:37 PM, February 6th (Thursday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Thank you NIK, I am indeed overwhelmed, one of the main reasons I think I haven't shared this information with anyone..... But that itself is a blessing in disguise because I want to refrain from sharing my life so much with others. I've become a lot more private in the past 9 or so months. (obviously not including SI) But its different.....

I am attempting to take care of myself.... my most consistent issue is very difficult to correct. I have developed really awful sleeping patterns unfortunately... Any advice on that? Main issue is that I have a terrible time trying to clear my mind in order to even get to sleep, and when I finally do I have terrible nightmares about OW and WH that wake me in a sweat.....

"A tree falls the way it careful which way you lean"

Posts: 172 | Registered: Feb 2014
♀ Member
Member # 40488
Default  Posted: 7:39 AM, February 7th (Friday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Canlosehope.. So so sorry...sending (((hugs)))
I know what it's like constantly thinking that she might be pregnant. I kept having nightmares about it and she was fatter when we saw her..and she had taken a leave of absense from work.... Plus I had found out about the unprotected sex... For many many months I was physically sick.. Finally I told my fWH my concerns. Well he kept saying I was crazy. Then I asked a good friend that works with her if she was pregnant and she said no... But something kept nagging me.. It crept back into my dreams... I told him to find out and see. He kept telling me she wasn't she couldn't be. I kept asking why couldn't she. No protection, he came in her and she's 25 fertile. So really. Then he confessed that she took the morning after pill and that he saw her take it.
So can I ask you why you don't confront him. Are you doing 180 or gathering information. Are you guys in MC where you can bring it up. Maybe you can say you heard it from so and so.
In my case It was a coworker that said she was sick and on months leave just after DDay. In our case we think she was trying to play the victim again since I told everyone what a slut she was infront of her coworkers, friends and family. She kept running into places my husband would eat or at Starbucks etc. But fWH stopped going places but his old coworkers would say they saw OW and how she was sick and that she wasn't doing well.. Blah blah blah..He would tell them to tell her to FUck off. They knew about the A.
So I suggest that you need to go and see for yourself. Do you know where she works or lives. Do some snooping. I know that you need to know one way or another. I completely understand that it's holding you back from moving forward.
Good luck and stay strong..

Me-BS 50 Him-WH 47, DD17
Together since 1993, Married 19 yrs
DDay 3/12,4/12,7/12 EA-PA OW - 25 single husband chasing bastard whore

Posts: 515 | Registered: Aug 2013
♀ Member
Member # 42356
Default  Posted: 10:32 AM, February 7th (Friday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

unfortunately we are currently S. And by S I do mean S physically too.... we are about 5 hours away from eachother......
I cannot tell him about hearing about this because the way I found out would just cause MORE problems if you can even believe that HA HA.
I noticed in your post you used the abbreviation fWH..... does this just mean he is living up to his word or does this mean you D?
As many of you on here know there are a lot of details we all don't share.....
But I am holding on, if it is in vein only time will tell. I try to keep my head up, and focus on myself and the things I enjoy (even without him )

I wish I had private message capabilities so I know you got my response.....

"A tree falls the way it careful which way you lean"

Posts: 172 | Registered: Feb 2014
Topic Posts: 25
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