Recently she explained an epiphany she had after a MC session, church sermon, and spiritual class last week all spoke to her on the topic of my role in her life. For nearly all of the M she says that she has viewed me as a barrier or hurdle to what she wanted. If something did not work out or we did not/could not get an impulse item she wanted, it was my fault. I was very low in importance, and her focus was on how to avoid me in order to get or do what she wanted. Even in the time after dday during our R she spent time with me and met my needs and wants more from a sense of it being the right thing to do rather than experiencing it as a way to bond and support our M.
Now, she says she can see how wrong she has been. That rather than a hurdle I have been a springboard in her life facilitating the things she wanted and needed. From helping to care for her DDs, to her masterís degree, to travel to visit family, I have found ways to accomplish all of her needs and most all of her wants. I have provided financial, emotional, and time resources that she has been able to use to help accomplish what she wanted. She also realizes now that I did many of these things in the face of not being treated well by her.
I hope that I am able to get her to believe that she too has been a springboard for me, and important part of my success in life. R, like M is more about the journey than the destination.
[This message edited by sisoon at 9:02 AM, February 6th (Thursday)]
D-Day, June 10, 2012
Great insight, but oh, so long in coming....
I wish I knew what it was that created that insight for her!