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Newest Member: feelostandlonely (45327)

New Beginnings Post Reply     Print Topic    
User Topic: Poofer resurfaces
Williesmom
♀ Member
Member # 22870
Default  Posted: 10:28 AM, February 6th (Thursday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

The backstory is that I slept with this guy for a year. Looking back, it was apparently nothing more than a fuckbuddy situation.

He rolled out of my bed on December 14th, gave me a kiss, and went to work. I have heard nothing from him since, even though I texted him a few times.

Last night, at midnight, I received the following text:

I apologize for shutting you out. Holidays and birthday are too much. I should have mentioned but I did not. Also please find it to forgive me - I didn't want to but couldn't get it together.

Is this text a poor try for booty?


You can stuff your sorries in a sack, mister. -George Costanza
There is a special place in hell for women who don't help other women. - Madeleine Albright

Posts: 7761 | Registered: Feb 2009 | From: Western PA
ajsmom
♀ Member
Member # 17460
Default  Posted: 10:34 AM, February 6th (Thursday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Sounds like a 12-Step Program apology to me.

NEXT! (right after crickets)


AJ's MOM


Fidelity isn't a feeling...it's a choice.

"Truth has no special time of its own. Its hour is now - always." - Albert Schweitzer
____________________________________________
Me: BW - Him: 200+ # tumor removed 7/09
DS - 31 - Yikes!


Posts: 21068 | Registered: Dec 2007 | From: Been Through Hell...On My Way Back
risingfromashes
♀ Member
Member # 3903
Default  Posted: 10:43 AM, February 6th (Thursday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Imo yes


There is life on the other side of hell.

Posts: 1665 | Registered: Mar 2004
lostandhopless
♂ Member
Member # 41568
Default  Posted: 11:09 AM, February 6th (Thursday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Yep, You might want to borrow some "Super cricket powers".


Be careful who you trust. Even your shadow will abandon you when it's dark.....

Divorced 6/13/14


Posts: 118 | Registered: Dec 2013
shiloe
♀ Member
Member # 1224
Default  Posted: 11:11 AM, February 6th (Thursday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Crickets or

Sorry, who is this?


But remember, good love is hard to find . . -Tom Petty and the Heartbreakers
BS - 54
Cheater -54
Married 26 yrs
DD - 21 DD -19 DS-17
A#1 2000 with married ho-worker/neighbor ow#1
A#2 2007-? OW#2 LTA with yet another married ho-worker. Kicked h

Posts: 614 | Registered: Mar 2003
cayc
♀ Member
Member # 21964
Default  Posted: 11:36 AM, February 6th (Thursday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Wow.

Yeah crickets. Ignoring someone is the most cutting thing you can do.


"The difference between involvement and commitment is like ham and eggs. The chicken is involved, the pig is committed." -Martina Navratilova
"The question isn't who is going to let me; it's who is going to stop me." -Ayn Rand

Posts: 3119 | Registered: Dec 2008 | From: Mexico
Sparkles
♀ Member
Member # 39901
Default  Posted: 11:40 AM, February 6th (Thursday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I guess its nice that he apologized, but... it doesn't sound/feel sincere to me. It's all about him, baby! Maybe AJsmom is correct? Or its a poor try for booty.


Posts: 138 | Registered: Jul 2013 | From: NW
nutmegkitty
♀ Member
Member # 33882
Default  Posted: 12:20 PM, February 6th (Thursday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I don't know how I would take that. I guess I would at least be glad he apologized. I would have been so unbelievable hurt by his diappearance that I don't know that, if he is even sincere, I could accept his apology. I think the damage would be done. I mean, a YEAR together. I know you said this in my poofer post, but really, WHO DOES THAT??


me (BS)
him (NPD Ex)
2 dds
DDay 10/7/11
OW
OC

Divorced 1/17/2013

"Diamonds aren't a girl's best friend, freedom is."


Posts: 2601 | Registered: Nov 2011 | From: MA
Williesmom
♀ Member
Member # 22870
Default  Posted: 12:21 PM, February 6th (Thursday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I don't think its a 12 step thing. He is a diabetic, so he doesn't drink.

However, he is a counselor IRL, so he knows the correct process for doing the right thing to people that you've wronged.

I still vote for late night booty.


You can stuff your sorries in a sack, mister. -George Costanza
There is a special place in hell for women who don't help other women. - Madeleine Albright

Posts: 7761 | Registered: Feb 2009 | From: Western PA
She11ybeanz
♀ Member
Member # 27457
Default  Posted: 12:42 PM, February 6th (Thursday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

NEXT!!! I don't think so dude!!! This booty ain't for sale!


"Sometimes your knight in shining armor ...is just a douchebag in tin foil!!"

ME - BW - 35
HIM - XWH - 39
D day: November 15th, 2009
Married: 5 Years, together 8
Divorced: December 13th, 2010
New Beginning: Piper/8-3-12


Posts: 2724 | Registered: Feb 2010 | From: Virginia
Rainbows
♀ Member
Member # 39362
Default  Posted: 12:57 PM, February 6th (Thursday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

At that time and out of the blue, it most likely was an attempt for some booty or sexy times talk.

I think if you enjoyed the booty and are able to take the situation as that, then why not.

If you are likely to get attached, then I'd avoid because he seems to have some issues and proceed with caution flags. He's already shown you some things by his behavior so be protective of your emotions.

You're driving the bus on this one. Once you decide what you want, let him know it's your rules.


There is always a rainbow after every storm.

Posts: 411 | Registered: May 2013 | From: California
cmego
♀ Member
Member # 30346
Default  Posted: 2:04 PM, February 6th (Thursday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

OK..I'm in the minority here…

But, I would probably tell him how you feel, "Your behavior hurt me" and see how he responds. I don't mind giving a second chance to someone who is trying to figure their shit out…but with the caveat that I'm on "full alert" to see if the behavior has actually changed.

I've not been perfect when trying to date either… just food for thought. Do what feels right for you.


me...BS, 43 years old, 2 small kids
WS, 41, multiple gay affairs
M 15 years, together 17
Divorced

"For whatever we lose, like a you or a me, it's always ourselves we find in the sea" ee cummings


Posts: 4180 | Registered: Dec 2010 | From: South
FaithFool
♀ Member
Member # 20150
Default  Posted: 2:14 PM, February 6th (Thursday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I would give him back exactly what he gave you for the last couple of months... Fair is fair.


DDay: June 15, 2008
Mistakenly married Mr. Superfreak
20 years of OWs, WTF?
Divorced Dec 26, 2011
"Life is a shipwreck, but we must not forget
to sing in the lifeboats". -- Voltaire

Posts: 17488 | Registered: Jul 2008 | From: Canada
Williesmom
♀ Member
Member # 22870
Default  Posted: 2:33 PM, February 6th (Thursday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

It's been almost 8 weeks. What I really want to do is sleep with him and THEN punch him in the nuts.


You can stuff your sorries in a sack, mister. -George Costanza
There is a special place in hell for women who don't help other women. - Madeleine Albright

Posts: 7761 | Registered: Feb 2009 | From: Western PA
nutmegkitty
♀ Member
Member # 33882
Default  Posted: 2:37 PM, February 6th (Thursday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

What I really want to do is sleep with him and THEN punch him in the nuts.

LMAO!!!

You would be within your rights to do so! lol


me (BS)
him (NPD Ex)
2 dds
DDay 10/7/11
OW
OC

Divorced 1/17/2013

"Diamonds aren't a girl's best friend, freedom is."


Posts: 2601 | Registered: Nov 2011 | From: MA
thyme2go
♂ Member
Member # 12908
Default  Posted: 3:29 PM, February 6th (Thursday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Do you like him?


BH - no longer 48
3 DD's - (27, 24 and 17)
Divorced on 8/6/09

Posts: 9186 | Registered: Dec 2006 | From: Eastern Washington
Williesmom
♀ Member
Member # 22870
Default  Posted: 3:33 PM, February 6th (Thursday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I liked him a lot. His poofing hurt me.

I don't want to set myself up to get hurt again, but I can't shield my heart forever.


You can stuff your sorries in a sack, mister. -George Costanza
There is a special place in hell for women who don't help other women. - Madeleine Albright

Posts: 7761 | Registered: Feb 2009 | From: Western PA
GabyBaby
♀ Member
Member # 26928
Default  Posted: 3:37 PM, February 6th (Thursday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

A text at midnight?
Smacks of booty call to me.

NEXT!!! (And crickets...after you nut punch him).


Me - 42
SorryInSac (WH#2) - 47. DDay 7/12/14
Married 4, together 7yrs total
Status - Stick a fork in me...

DD(21), DS(18, PDD-NOS)
6 Furkids - 4 dogs, 2 cats

WXH (serial cheater, 12+ OW) - Legally married 18yrs

I edit often for clarity.


Posts: 6521 | Registered: Dec 2009 | From: California
Tripletrouble
♀ Member
Member # 39169
Default  Posted: 3:52 PM, February 6th (Thursday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Two thoughts here:
1. The apology was not poetic but it is an apology. I have done some things in my life I needed to apologize for later - not to clear my conscience but because it's the right thing to do. There are some people that owe me some big fat apologies that I will never get. So I think it's ok that he did.
2. The timing made me laugh - my first thought was not booty call but...ambien. Did he ever take sleeping pills that you know of? Maybe he was just sleepless and wanted to set things right.
I think whatever suits your own head and heart here is right. If you want to ignore, or tell him straight up how hurtful it was, or throw one to yourself for the road and then poof yourself, these are all viable options.


40 somethings - me BW after 20 years
D Day April 2013
Divorced November 2013

Be happy with what you have while you work for what you want - Hellen Keller


Posts: 638 | Registered: May 2013
movingforward13
♀ Member
Member # 38405
Default  Posted: 4:33 PM, February 6th (Thursday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Sounds like to me he was dealing with someone else and it didn't work out... 8 weeks is a good amount of time for infatuation to break apart. Please don't believe he was alone----

As the saying goes, "Please believe that when your side of the conversation is getting shorter, it is getting longer for someone else."

If I were you, I would crickets.... He doesn't deserve your time--- you don't deserve his shit.


Once a cheater, always a cheater happens when your cheater doesn't have remorse.
Regret is not remorse- know the difference!

Posts: 640 | Registered: Feb 2013 | From: DC
Topic Posts: 35
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