Oh yeah I also ripped up any of our old pics that were on display
[This message edited by crazyblindsided at 6:56 PM, February 6th (Thursday)]
Burned books he'd used during travel with OW.....ones he'd asked me to pick up for him.... and I did....
Smashed glasses against the wall in a rage....felt sooooo good to break them, one after the other.
Wow....writing about those things I remember the rage.....glad it's a memory and not a present day feeling anymore.
He lied and said it wasn't her.... But that a "friend" from work gave it to him. Yet her FB said all about how she went and I even saw pic messages on his phone from her in Bali. Smashed it with a hammer, scribbled on it in texts then placed it neatly back in its case and packed it with his belongings the night I kicked him out.
[This message edited by AppalachianGal at 7:21 PM, February 6th (Thursday)]
I've been a guitarist for almost my entire life. At one point, I found out that OM went shopping with my wife and helped pick out the acoustic guitar that she had given to me as a Christmas gift about 10 years prior, which I had been playing regularly ever since.
I sat on this knowledge for about a week, and I just kept getting angrier and angrier. I felt like even my guitar was tainted by the OM, and that was my breaking point (no pun intended).
Let me tell you, if you hit an acoustic guitar hard enough against a steel post, it really does shatter instantly. Nothing but neck left of that sucker!
Afterward, I emailed my therapist and gave her an update on the guitar. I told her I went all Pete Townsend on it, and then changed my theme song from "Behind Blue Eyes" to "Won't Get Fooled Again".
No regrets on that one.
It was funny because we had employees at the time. The morning after I burned all that shit, the pile was still smoking. The employees came to work, walked right past that pile, and said not a word. Smart guys.
It was very cathartic.
[This message edited by Williesmom at 7:37 PM, February 6th (Thursday)]
4 kiddos in lower 20's
“Slide the weight from your shoulders and move forward. You are afraid you might forget, but you never will. You will forgive and remember."
I borrowed his office keys very early one morning, went to his work office, found the novel and also a professional book she had written. Took them to my office and spent a satisfying hour putting them through the shredder. Also found her extra special notes to him -- in his file cabinet, filed under her name, nice job of hiding them -- shredded them, and put them in the cat box. Appropriately
Should have mailed the cat box bits to her...
What I really wanted to shred and burn were pictures she sent to him "for the boy" (she is his mother, I am the boy's stepmother). But I saw the online conversation they had the day she sent the email. She picked the pictures for him, not the kid. And he complimented her on how she looked, and it had been a YEAR since he had noticed anything about me physically or offered even the slightest compliment.
There was also a picture from the boy's pre-k/daycare from their Mother's day breakfast that I was told I could not go to because his mom would be there. He even made sure I didn't take the boy to daycare that day so he could, to see her. And she had actually combed her hair and put on makeup. And so I pick up this picture when I'm picking him up from daycare and it is of the boy and his mom and they look so happy and it feels like mockery.
Because, during the A, his son followed his father's suit and was horrible to me, too. I know he didn't understand what was going on, but he made it clear that since Daddy was mean to me, he was, too. And there in that picture is something that slaps me in the face. I still can't look at it, but I can't destroy it. The kid loves it. So it just can't be hung up in the house. We have a scrap book of pictures for him, it is there and I never look at that damn thing.
I guess I was pretty boring .. just smashed a wedding picture and put a dent in the fridge Threw out all cards he had given me over the years, and special wedding cards I had saved.
I destroyed a lot of things, on the night of DD the first thing to go was our wedding scrapbook his sister made us. I ripped out every page and crumpled them up. Threw the whole works out into the driveway where they got rained on and strewn about. He found them and picked up all the pages and stacked them on our deck but didn't say a word.
I also smashed all of our wedding pictures and other pictures we had on the wall. They went into the hefty garbage bags (broken glass and all) with the rest of his shit when I purged his presence from our house. This of course was once he made it clear there was zero hope for R.
And a couple weeks later, my anger seemed to hit an all time peak, so I gathered up ALL of the wedding mementos I had saved and hauled them all out back to my fire pit. I sat back, lit a smoke and had a few beer as I burned every RSVP card, wedding cards, the card holder box, Gift lists, photos, hell even the expensive lingerie I wore under my dress. I watched with cathartic glee as it all went up in smoke, even took pics of this fine event. Once I got to my dress I had a moment of sanity. I couldn't bear to destroy it knowing I had spent $500 having it professionally cleaned and preserved after the wedding. I knew I could donate it to charity. So, I didn't. Instead a couple of weeks after the burning party I took it to Goodwill. The day of the donation would have been my 5th wedding anniversary.
I am a bit sad thinking of it now, but I am not sorry I burned all of that stuff. It was instrumental to my healing and I am sure having an outlet for all that anger probably kept me from doing stupider things.
"And this above all else, to thine own self be true"
OW did not go away easily. She tried and tried to crack open the door many times after DDay. Two weeks after DDay she left a bday gift for H at his office. He brought it to me. It was a basket with 365 tiny scrolled papers that she had written little love quotes on. The instructions were to read one a day for the next year. Still makes me laugh. I sat there and opened every one, read it, and ripped it into tiny pieces. She continued to send little gifts and notes like a mix CD she made for him with their special love making music. He brought me everything. What a piece of work she is.
I tell people I am tired but really my heart is broken and I am sad.
Wh was SO clueless for the longest time on why dishes were breaking so frequently....
A book was burned.
Clothes thrown away.
eta: A first in our marriage ... I burned a uniform shirt while ironing. (darn)
It was all was quite satisfactory.
[This message edited by stunnedin12 at 8:45 PM, February 6th (Thursday)]
I smashed (with a sledgehammer) a couple DVD's which were gifts to me, and an expensive watch he didn't even want anymore that was linked to his douchebaggery. Cut up some clothes. Tore up a birthday card he gave me.
The worst I did was attach a photo of him and AP to a punching bag and beat the hell out of that bag while yelling obscenities. All while my husband stood there and held the bag for me. That was the best therapy.
It was a basket with 365 tiny scrolled papers that she had written little love quotes on. The instructions were to read one a day for the next year. Still makes me laugh. I sat there and opened every one, read it, and ripped it into tiny pieces.
Sorry Lovedyoumore. What a dumb b****. That is funny.
[This message edited by DixieD at 9:13 PM, February 6th (Thursday)]
When he went back overseas, I looked through the scarves again and noticed the smell of perfume and knew they belonged to OW. I asked DS if he smelled perfume on them and he said he did.
I took them out by the trash and tore them to smithereens by hand. DS came out while I was doing it and said, I thought you were going to burn them!
I also threw out the topper of our wedding cake, took all photos of him down. I threw out all pretty nightgowns and negligees I had.
With my first xWH#1, my mother took the mug she gave xWH for Christmas "#1 Son-in-law" and threw it on the concrete driveway to smash it to smithereens.