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User Topic: So, what have you smashed, broken, burned, etc?
♀ Member
Member # 25898
Default  Posted: 6:53 PM, February 6th (Thursday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I threw a mug from a vacation off the front deck, smashed on the rocks below - the most violent thing FWH had ever seen me do - I think he was afraid he was next
I also threw out every card and letter between us that I could find - including the letter I wrote him on our 1st Christmas over 30 years before.
Felt good then -still feels good now.

Me - 60
WH - 67
Married 35 years
DDay - 5/14/09
He's reconciled, I'm in limbo.
"Stuck in the middle with you"

Posts: 159 | Registered: Oct 2009 | From: Rocky Mountains
♀ Member
Member # 35215
Default  Posted: 6:55 PM, February 6th (Thursday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I smashed over $5,000 of my WH's prized glass collection after I learned I was in False r

Oh yeah I also ripped up any of our old pics that were on display

[This message edited by crazyblindsided at 6:56 PM, February 6th (Thursday)]

BS/FWS (me):40 Madhatter
WS/BS:42 Serial Cheater
Together 18 years, Married 13
DD(10) DS(7)
DDay(s) 5/08, 5/09, 3/30/12
Final Dday 7/11/14 Affair never ended

Posts: 2266 | Registered: Apr 2012 | From: California
Alex CR
♀ Member
Member # 27968
Angry  Posted: 6:57 PM, February 6th (Thursday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Sliced up a suit he had made while traveling with the OW..... very sharp scissors made of surgical steel......strip by strip.....

Burned books he'd used during travel with OW.....ones he'd asked me to pick up for him.... and I did....

Smashed glasses against the wall in a rage....felt sooooo good to break them, one after the other.

Wow....writing about those things I remember the rage.....glad it's a memory and not a present day feeling anymore.

BS Me 61
WS Him 62
Married 33
Together 40
DD 11/16/09
The future looks good....

Posts: 1713 | Registered: Mar 2010
♀ Member
Member # 42192
Default  Posted: 6:58 PM, February 6th (Thursday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

A gift that OW gave to him after her trip to Bali.

He lied and said it wasn't her.... But that a "friend" from work gave it to him. Yet her FB said all about how she went and I even saw pic messages on his phone from her in Bali. Smashed it with a hammer, scribbled on it in texts then placed it neatly back in its case and packed it with his belongings the night I kicked him out.

On any given day you have the power to say "my story is not going to end like this"
Me 41 BS
Him 41 WH
6 kids...7 weeks, 5,7,9,11&13
D day jan 29th 2014

Posts: 536 | Registered: Jan 2014 | From: Land down under
♂ Member
Member # 41666
Default  Posted: 7:00 PM, February 6th (Thursday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I knew this would be fun....

Posts: 261 | Registered: Dec 2013 | From: United States
♀ Member
Member # 31672
Default  Posted: 7:17 PM, February 6th (Thursday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Oh, I also took his secret phone and shot it full of holes with a Colt 45, but that was total stupidity on my part. I should have gotten info off it that I needed first (before learning about SI).

[This message edited by AppalachianGal at 7:21 PM, February 6th (Thursday)]

BS (me) 41; WS, 44
DD#1- 09/07/10 secret cell found, texting ho-worker. Denies EA/PA
DD#2- 12/29/13 admitted ONS (1993) with bar slut 3 yrs into marriage
DD#3- 01/21/14 ho-worker from 2010 involved "one-time BJ."

Posts: 447 | Registered: Mar 2011 | From: TN
♂ Guide
Member # 30369
Default  Posted: 7:18 PM, February 6th (Thursday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

** Posting as a member **

I've been a guitarist for almost my entire life. At one point, I found out that OM went shopping with my wife and helped pick out the acoustic guitar that she had given to me as a Christmas gift about 10 years prior, which I had been playing regularly ever since.

I sat on this knowledge for about a week, and I just kept getting angrier and angrier. I felt like even my guitar was tainted by the OM, and that was my breaking point (no pun intended).

Let me tell you, if you hit an acoustic guitar hard enough against a steel post, it really does shatter instantly. Nothing but neck left of that sucker!

Afterward, I emailed my therapist and gave her an update on the guitar. I told her I went all Pete Townsend on it, and then changed my theme song from "Behind Blue Eyes" to "Won't Get Fooled Again".

No regrets on that one.

Posts: 7516 | Registered: Dec 2010
♀ Member
Member # 39439
Default  Posted: 7:35 PM, February 6th (Thursday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I burned his favourite shirt. It was in November-cold but I went out on our deck and lit it and watched it melt. Wished that he was wearing it at the time.

And remember Murphy is right. Nothing is so bad that it can't get worse!!!

Posts: 1320 | Registered: Jun 2013 | From: Ontario, Canada
♀ Member
Member # 22870
Default  Posted: 7:36 PM, February 6th (Thursday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I took the entire "Williesdad memorial library" into the back yard and burned it all. In actuality, it was a 5 foot tall stack of playboys. Then I drug the picnic table off the porch and heaved it on the pile - no idea why I did that.

It was funny because we had employees at the time. The morning after I burned all that shit, the pile was still smoking. The employees came to work, walked right past that pile, and said not a word. Smart guys.

It was very cathartic.

[This message edited by Williesmom at 7:37 PM, February 6th (Thursday)]

You can stuff your sorries in a sack, mister. -George Costanza
There is a special place in hell for women who don't help other women. - Madeleine Albright

Posts: 7765 | Registered: Feb 2009 | From: Western PA
♂ Member
Member # 40392
Default  Posted: 7:41 PM, February 6th (Thursday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

This is some great stuff folks, keep it coming. It's very therapeutic if you ask me!!!! I needed a smile on my face this evening and this has done the trick!

Me: BH 32years old DDay 4-29-13
Her: WW 33 years old
“Yet each man kills the thing he loves
By each let this be heard
Some do it with a bitter look
Some with a flattering word
The coward does it with a kiss
The brave man with a sword”

Posts: 616 | Registered: Aug 2013 | From: Houston, Texas
♀ Member
Member # 30314
Default  Posted: 7:51 PM, February 6th (Thursday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

makes me think I was pretty tame. considering... this IS fun.

his Dday: 2/10 but TT until 7/11
my Ddays: 1/12, 4/12 broken NC 12/12

me (WW/BS): 48
him: (BS/WH)52
4 kiddos in mid 20's

The conditions we face do not define us. They remind us of who we are and who we want to be.

Posts: 5262 | Registered: Dec 2010 | From: Midwest
♀ Member
Member # 36915
Default  Posted: 7:52 PM, February 6th (Thursday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

His brother gave us a novel (story prominently features an A, ugh, what did I know?) set in the career field we are in. We both really liked it. He loaned it to the MCOW, who of course saw it as a beautiful story of their true love against all odds...

I borrowed his office keys very early one morning, went to his work office, found the novel and also a professional book she had written. Took them to my office and spent a satisfying hour putting them through the shredder. Also found her extra special notes to him -- in his file cabinet, filed under her name, nice job of hiding them -- shredded them, and put them in the cat box. Appropriately

Should have mailed the cat box bits to her...

DDay Feb 2011.
In R.

Posts: 872 | Registered: Sep 2012
♀ Member
Member # 42276
Default  Posted: 7:55 PM, February 6th (Thursday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I haven't destroyed anything though I want to.

What I really wanted to shred and burn were pictures she sent to him "for the boy" (she is his mother, I am the boy's stepmother). But I saw the online conversation they had the day she sent the email. She picked the pictures for him, not the kid. And he complimented her on how she looked, and it had been a YEAR since he had noticed anything about me physically or offered even the slightest compliment.

There was also a picture from the boy's pre-k/daycare from their Mother's day breakfast that I was told I could not go to because his mom would be there. He even made sure I didn't take the boy to daycare that day so he could, to see her. And she had actually combed her hair and put on makeup. And so I pick up this picture when I'm picking him up from daycare and it is of the boy and his mom and they look so happy and it feels like mockery.

Because, during the A, his son followed his father's suit and was horrible to me, too. I know he didn't understand what was going on, but he made it clear that since Daddy was mean to me, he was, too. And there in that picture is something that slaps me in the face. I still can't look at it, but I can't destroy it. The kid loves it. So it just can't be hung up in the house. We have a scrap book of pictures for him, it is there and I never look at that damn thing.

Posts: 95 | Registered: Jan 2014
♀ Member
Member # 38604
Default  Posted: 7:56 PM, February 6th (Thursday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I had a large bowl on the coffee table filled with large decorative ceramic balls. I threw them and smashed them all on our tile floors. It felt awesome.

ME - BS 50, Him - WS 46 trying to "R"
4 DD's - blended 25, 15, 15 and 12
Multi DDays the grand finale 5/13/2013
From here on out, I am only interested in what is real. Real people, real feelings, that's it, that's all I'm intere

Posts: 472 | Registered: Mar 2013 | From: Texas
♀ Member
Member # 42030
Default  Posted: 8:21 PM, February 6th (Thursday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Some of these are hilarious!

I guess I was pretty boring .. just smashed a wedding picture and put a dent in the fridge Threw out all cards he had given me over the years, and special wedding cards I had saved.

Me - BS
Him - WS
DD Jan 8 2014

Posts: 83 | Registered: Jan 2014
♀ Member
Member # 35813
Default  Posted: 8:36 PM, February 6th (Thursday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I love reading all these stories!

I destroyed a lot of things, on the night of DD the first thing to go was our wedding scrapbook his sister made us. I ripped out every page and crumpled them up. Threw the whole works out into the driveway where they got rained on and strewn about. He found them and picked up all the pages and stacked them on our deck but didn't say a word.

I also smashed all of our wedding pictures and other pictures we had on the wall. They went into the hefty garbage bags (broken glass and all) with the rest of his shit when I purged his presence from our house. This of course was once he made it clear there was zero hope for R.

And a couple weeks later, my anger seemed to hit an all time peak, so I gathered up ALL of the wedding mementos I had saved and hauled them all out back to my fire pit. I sat back, lit a smoke and had a few beer as I burned every RSVP card, wedding cards, the card holder box, Gift lists, photos, hell even the expensive lingerie I wore under my dress. I watched with cathartic glee as it all went up in smoke, even took pics of this fine event. Once I got to my dress I had a moment of sanity. I couldn't bear to destroy it knowing I had spent $500 having it professionally cleaned and preserved after the wedding. I knew I could donate it to charity. So, I didn't. Instead a couple of weeks after the burning party I took it to Goodwill. The day of the donation would have been my 5th wedding anniversary.

I am a bit sad thinking of it now, but I am not sorry I burned all of that stuff. It was instrumental to my healing and I am sure having an outlet for all that anger probably kept me from doing stupider things.

Me: BW 38, Him: WH 37
M: 07/07/07
DDay: 06/09/12
Divorce Granted on December 5, 2012 - fasted divorce ever (thanks to my good lawyer) and I am not looking back with ANY regrets!!

"And this above all else, to thine own self be true"

Posts: 254 | Registered: Jun 2012 | From: Alberta
♀ Member
Member # 35593
Default  Posted: 8:39 PM, February 6th (Thursday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I told him to sell the SUV or blow it up. He sold it immediately. I made him trade a new car the same week. I smashed the electric griddle gave me for Christmas during the A. That griddle should have been a sign. Clothing with cat hair on it went into trash...she had a cat.

OW did not go away easily. She tried and tried to crack open the door many times after DDay. Two weeks after DDay she left a bday gift for H at his office. He brought it to me. It was a basket with 365 tiny scrolled papers that she had written little love quotes on. The instructions were to read one a day for the next year. Still makes me laugh. I sat there and opened every one, read it, and ripped it into tiny pieces. She continued to send little gifts and notes like a mix CD she made for him with their special love making music. He brought me everything. What a piece of work she is.

Me 52
WH 52
Married 30+ years
Together trying to R

I tell people I am tired but really my heart is broken and I am sad.

Posts: 1526 | Registered: May 2012 | From: Southern, bless your heart
♀ Member
Member # 38141
Default  Posted: 8:43 PM, February 6th (Thursday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I have a nice new set of dishes and drinking glasses.

Wh was SO clueless for the longest time on why dishes were breaking so frequently....

A book was burned.
Clothes thrown away.
Cards shredded.
eta: A first in our marriage ... I burned a uniform shirt while ironing. (darn)

It was all was quite satisfactory.

[This message edited by stunnedin12 at 8:45 PM, February 6th (Thursday)]

ME - Betrayed Spouse
Him - Wayward spouse
Not sure, but trying I guess.

Posts: 476 | Registered: Jan 2013
♀ Member
Member # 33457
Default  Posted: 9:06 PM, February 6th (Thursday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I thought I had a terrible temper, but after reading this thread I feel like an amateur.

I smashed (with a sledgehammer) a couple DVD's which were gifts to me, and an expensive watch he didn't even want anymore that was linked to his douchebaggery. Cut up some clothes. Tore up a birthday card he gave me.

The worst I did was attach a photo of him and AP to a punching bag and beat the hell out of that bag while yelling obscenities. All while my husband stood there and held the bag for me. That was the best therapy.

It was a basket with 365 tiny scrolled papers that she had written little love quotes on. The instructions were to read one a day for the next year. Still makes me laugh. I sat there and opened every one, read it, and ripped it into tiny pieces.

Sorry Lovedyoumore. What a dumb b****. That is funny.

[This message edited by DixieD at 9:13 PM, February 6th (Thursday)]

Growing forward

Posts: 1767 | Registered: Sep 2011
♀ Member
Member # 27105
Default  Posted: 9:12 PM, February 6th (Thursday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

WH came back from overseas and tosses me a bag full of scarves and says those are for you. I went through them, noticing that all but one was new, and was confused, but said thank you.

When he went back overseas, I looked through the scarves again and noticed the smell of perfume and knew they belonged to OW. I asked DS if he smelled perfume on them and he said he did.

I took them out by the trash and tore them to smithereens by hand. DS came out while I was doing it and said, I thought you were going to burn them!

I also threw out the topper of our wedding cake, took all photos of him down. I threw out all pretty nightgowns and negligees I had.

With my first xWH#1, my mother took the mug she gave xWH for Christmas "#1 Son-in-law" and threw it on the concrete driveway to smash it to smithereens.

Posts: 1947 | Registered: Jan 2010
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