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User Topic: So, what have you smashed, broken, burned, etc?
♂ Member
Member # 21259
Default  Posted: 9:16 PM, February 6th (Thursday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I took etched wedding glasses that had been made for our wedding into the woods behind our house and smashed them against a tree.

Then, after I found out that fWW walked naked past our wedding pictures with OM #1 on the way to a shower, I trashed all the wedding pictures hanging in the house.

She rescued the pictures and I still don't know where they are. I hope I never see them again.

Me: BS 55
Her: fWW 50

D-Day #1: 12 Aug. 2008. WW's 2nd affair w/college teacher.
D-Day #2: 18 June 2009. Affair #1 with neighbor was fall of 2002 - while I was coping with the fallout from 9/11.
Still trying to R.
22 years married

Posts: 432 | Registered: Oct 2008 | From: Ohio
♀ Member
Member # 42356
Default  Posted: 9:24 PM, February 6th (Thursday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

If you can call it "destroying".....this was a previous relationship not current....

Found out about many A's and put all of his shit in my car, drove over to his work (where he was), parked in the parking lot opened my car door and proceeded to throw all of his belongings onto the parking lot. Sidenote: his place of work had many windows and there were many employees watching me as I did so...
Felt great at the time.....

Looking back I probably looked a little "crazy"
OH WELL, over and done with.

"A tree falls the way it careful which way you lean"

Posts: 172 | Registered: Feb 2014
♀ Member
Member # 38141
Default  Posted: 9:26 PM, February 6th (Thursday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Thought of another one.

I gave wh the pictures that we had had taken of our family at a couple of different locations. One was taken Easter Day when he got a 'wrong number' call.

It was quite satisfying to tell him that HE would be destroying them.

I also took the picture I had of us out of his wallet and burnt it. THEN I later innocently asked him to take that particular picture out and destroy it. I hope he squirmed like a fish on a hook when he discovered it gone.

I also found (after D-day 2) that he had written chickie's phone number on a password type of paper he keeps in his wallet.... I wrote a note beside the number. He has NEVER mentioned that note!

ME - Betrayed Spouse
Him - Wayward spouse
Not sure, but trying I guess.

Posts: 481 | Registered: Jan 2013
♀ Member
Member # 39210
Default  Posted: 9:26 PM, February 6th (Thursday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Well hell. not one damn thing. Is it too late??!!

'You just keep living, until you are alive again'
'I don't want perfect, I want honest'

Posts: 333 | Registered: May 2013
♀ Member
Member # 30314
Default  Posted: 9:26 PM, February 6th (Thursday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Wow! Lots of people have sledgehammers laying around. I'm impresssed!

his Dday: 2/10 but TT until 7/11
my Ddays: 1/12, 4/12 broken NC 12/12

me (WW/BS): 48
him: (BS/WH)52
4 kiddos in mid 20's

“Follow your intuition. Be smart, be brave. Tell the truth and don’t take any shit.”

Posts: 5344 | Registered: Dec 2010 | From: Midwest
♀ Member
Member # 11185
Default  Posted: 9:46 PM, February 6th (Thursday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I "el-gabonged" his Martin guitar I had bought for him as therapy while he was recovering from going through a windshield. I wish I had sold it on E-bay instead.

I packed all of his clothes in brown garbage bags, put all of my sexy lingerie in with a note that said, "Your whore should like these since she likes my hand me downs". But I know her fat ass couldn't have fit in any of them. I left the garbage bags in the front yard of her shack. My BFF was with me and she was amazed. She said she had never seen me lose my temper in the 30 plus years she had known me.

BW -- 57
Divorced 2001
Re-married 2014--on what would have been our 35th anniversary

Posts: 427 | Registered: Jul 2006 | From: NC
♀ Member
Member # 38604
Default  Posted: 8:40 AM, February 7th (Friday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I forgot, I also took a hammer to an external drive that he used to store all his Picts of her. That felt amazing!!

ME - BS 50, Him - WS 46 trying to "R"
4 DD's - blended 25, 15, 15 and 12
Multi DDays the grand finale 5/13/2013
From here on out, I am only interested in what is real. Real people, real feelings, that's it, that's all I'm intere

Posts: 472 | Registered: Mar 2013 | From: Texas
♀ Member
Member # 33202
Default  Posted: 9:08 AM, February 7th (Friday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I'm not proud of what I did during the early days but here goes:

I threw a muffin tin around the kitchen and dining room until it was a bent, broken piece of junk.

At the moment of discovery, while he was cowering in the bathroom erasing the texts on his cheater phone, I threw the land-line phone at the locked bathroom door, chipped the wood and killed the ringer on the phone.

I broke down our bathroom door (he used to hide in there to text the AP) and splintered the door frame.

I broke a plastic watering can.

I broke my salad spinner from pounding on it too hard.

I printed up pictures of the AP from the internet, burned them and buried the ashes in the compost.

I simply got rid of things I bought during the A that it pained me to look at-clothing, art, etc.

When I caught him on the phone with the AP early in the A and he had successfully gaslighted me, I pounded the cutting board with a knife while making a salad so violently that it chipped the board (I should have faced reality about the A then but pushed it away.)

Thanks, LivinginLimbo-I forgot that I "sanitized" the car seats and door handles with rubbing alcohol after Dday to remove the slut cooties.

[This message edited by struggling16 at 1:15 PM, February 8th (Saturday)]

Posts: 724 | Registered: Aug 2011
Member # 39162
Default  Posted: 9:34 AM, February 7th (Friday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

This thread has me giggling..

He was out when I found e-mails I tried to smash the computer screen in his study but it wouldn't break. Couldn't unplug his 'works computer' so cut the wires, took it outside and poured a watering can into it.
Next was his laptop which I only half destroyed. Endless cups and glasses, thrown across the room rather than belt him one which I wanted to do.
Keyed his car.
Threw out every trace of OW (we knew her for years), helped by H.
Went through our photo albums, removed every picture with her in and ceremoniously burnt them, saying a little curse with each one.
Tore up last valentines cards to each other (given before d-day) - but I did rescue them in bits.
Returned to H pearl earrings he'd given me during the A on our wedding anniversary.
Threw some of his clothes onto front lawn.
Made a good mess in his study (where he'd screwed her twice and e-mailed, skyped etc).
Put an archery target out in the garden, imagined every time I hit the gold it was her c***!Still remember look on H's and son's faces, they didn't know what I was imagining but they knew I was pretty damn mad
Luckily I'm a gardener, good session of digging or pruning helped diffuse things.
OOOH, THE RAGE! Glad I've gotten past that.

[This message edited by overandone at 9:35 AM, February 7th (Friday)]

Me - BW (54)
Him - fWS (61)
kiddies - daughters 22 and 27,son 22,
d-day - April 18 2012
R - but lots of bumps in the long road

Posts: 231 | Registered: May 2013 | From: uk
♀ Member
Member # 42185
Default  Posted: 9:39 AM, February 7th (Friday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

This topic made me giggle a little, brought some comic relief. Thank you. I guess I've been fantasizing about smashing things WAY too much so it's comforting to see I'm not alone.

I shredded H's books on meditation and yoga. He and OW started their A by going "as friends" to a Zen Buddhist Meditation Center. What a joke, what a pair of hypocritical fakers.

I've had countless dreams of smashing things with a baseball bat, if that counts!

BW: me (38)
WH: 43
OW: false "friend"
D-Day: 11/29/13 (4 month EA discovered); 12/19/13 (discovered was also PA); TT thru 2/14
Married: 2001; Together for nearly 20 years
2 beautiful young kids

Posts: 558 | Registered: Jan 2014
♀ Member
Member # 41033
Default  Posted: 11:01 AM, February 7th (Friday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

About a year after our divorce his damn pool table was still set up in my basement. He finally set a date to pick it up. I was dating a guy at the time, and well, I invited him to get it on with me on the pool table. I wonder if my ex ever figured out what that damn stain was in the middle of it.

Posts: 391 | Registered: Oct 2013 | From: Illinois
♀ New Member
Member # 42344
Default  Posted: 11:27 AM, February 7th (Friday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

P0rn? Gone. Slut's clothes? Snip Snip.

Posts: 8 | Registered: Feb 2014 | From: Michigan
♀ Member
Member # 27196
Default  Posted: 11:30 AM, February 7th (Friday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

It was a basket with 365 tiny scrolled papers that she had written little love quotes on
oh my. It really was 'lurrvvee' wasn't it? Lol!

me BS female 56/him WS 59
Married 33 years
D-day July 09/he gave me his slut's STD
Watch my movie: "My wayward husband's adventures in STD land":
Episode 1:
Episode 2:

Posts: 7113 | Registered: Jan 2010 | From: Coastal South
♀ Member
Member # 35593
Default  Posted: 12:33 PM, February 7th (Friday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

It was a basket with 365 tiny scrolled papers that she had written little love quotes on

Right? She left this with the receptionist 2 weeks after being told the A was over and NC. Then she sneaks into our church on Easter Sunday to stalk. She kept sending emails to a "personal" email account she thought my H set up. I set it up and her mushy, begging emails came straight to me. I never replied to any, but I saw what a sick, manipulative idiot she was. Seeing it for my own eyes was better than smashing anything. I wanted to smash both their faces.

Me 52
WH 52
Married 30+ years
Together trying to R

I tell people I am tired but really my heart is broken and I am sad.

Posts: 1532 | Registered: May 2012 | From: Southern, bless your heart
♀ Member
Member # 36976
Default  Posted: 12:34 PM, February 7th (Friday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Smashed the giant geode I had just given him for his birthday all over the front walkway. It was beautiful. I broke my hand when I hit it against the desk instead of his face. I just threw out the portrait I'd had done of him and my favorite dog. (poor Beau)

Posts: 631 | Registered: Sep 2012
♀ Member
Member # 40274
Default  Posted: 1:45 PM, February 7th (Friday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

One of the first things I did when he confessed was throw a vase at him. Then I threw anything/everything I could get my hands on at him.

After I kicked him out post DDay, he only took two small suitcases but left most of this stuff here. I decided to cut the crotch out of every pair of pants in the closet. Ya know, so he can whip it out easier. I wanted to leave them in the closet all hung up, so that when he came for them he wouldn't initally notice the crotchlessness. I chickened out though, because things got kinda ugly and litigious right away so I just ended up throwing them all out in a dumpster.

I also drew his face on on of our post halloween pumkins and smashed it with a huge mallet and then an ax. While I did this, I was swearing my head off pretending it was him.

I threw out all his marathon medals. All his college memorabilia, all his photos from college, Anything having to do with his college friends that was in his office (because some of those f**kers knew about the A and even hung out with them, so I figure they are all probably asswipe cheaters too.) I cut up his favorite football team jersey.

I think this weekend while he has the kids I will give the rest of his shit to goodwill. I am going to sell his elliptical trainer on craigs list and spend the money on something fun for me.

Me BW- 40ish, awesome
Cheating scusband 40ish
2 kids, elementary school age
Bomb dropped Aug 4 out of nowhere...

Posts: 443 | Registered: Aug 2013 | From: Hell
♀ Member
Member # 35624
Default  Posted: 2:10 PM, February 7th (Friday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Nothing yet, really. Just tore up some photographs.

Mostly I was one to express my anger at him verbally and in writing.

WH: 41
me: BS, 45
Together 18 1/2 years, married 17
DDAY 8/2/12
OW: EA- friend of 4 months
Status: separated

Posts: 903 | Registered: May 2012 | From: California
♀ Member
Member # 42110
Default  Posted: 3:12 PM, February 7th (Friday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

There were various things. I recycled many cards (birthday cards, anniversary cards, etc.). I smashed his new iphone with a hammer. I was told that the people at the Apple store were impressed with the damage. I threw out every item in the house that reminded me of his A (clothing, pictures, dishes). I am still throwing things out (whenever I come across them). The funny thing is I do not think I will ever get to the day when there is nothing else to throw out.

Me -BW
Him - WH
DS - 11 and DD - 15

Posts: 199 | Registered: Jan 2014 | From: Northeast
♂ Member
Member # 31240
Default  Posted: 4:05 PM, February 7th (Friday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

"if this ever happens again, it'll be your nuts in this bag."

Ah...I guess that fits with the quote from Rumi....

I didn't notice the pile up of little innocuous tchachtkes around my W's easy chair in our BR during the A, but there turned out to be a ton of them.

We spent several hours over a few days going through them, with my W explaining the significance of each one. Then my W dumped each one into the trash, into a package to go to a charity, or into a package to be sent back to ow.

ow made some things, including a chanukiah (8-armed menorah for use at Chanukah), and they were smashed, but I'm not sure which of us did it.

I wish I never had the pleasure of dismantling this part of the A, but it was a pleasure nevertheless.

W also threw out clothing that was associated with the A - either she wore the stuff with ow, or ow noticed something and said she liked it.

Some good stuff was donated to worthy causes.

fBH (me) - 70 (22 in my head), fWW (plainsong) - 65+, Married 45+, together since 1965
DDay - 12/2010
Recovered, not yet fully R'ed
I share my own experience because it's the only experience I know, not because I'm a good model.

Posts: 10440 | Registered: Feb 2011 | From: Chicago area
♀ Member
Member # 36969
Default  Posted: 4:12 PM, February 7th (Friday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Nothing. Absolutely nothing.

I did pour a cereal bowl of dirty dish water over his head once while he was doing dishes instead of talking to me. And when he looked up at me in disbelief, I scooped up more and did it again.

But then I ran out and collapsed into a puddle of tears. I'm pretty pathetic sometimes.

DDay: October 7, 2011
R finally started in earnest: April 2014

Posts: 205 | Registered: Sep 2012
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