Welcome. I'm sorry. So very sorry.
Listen. Your WH has essentially fired you as his wife. Your instinct that there is far more to come is almost certainly very correct. I have a feeling that your WH is sitting on a lot more secrets, lies, and betrayals. And right now, he doesn't have any remorse about any of it. He just wants what he wants when he wants it.
You are going to have to be Very Strong right now, at a point when you feel your weakest. But if you don't get mad and start channeling your protective Mother Bear persona, you and your children are going to be screwed over again and again by your WH.
Use this weekend to research at least 3 good kick-ass divorce lawyers. Make copies of every financial document you have, and lock them all away in a safety deposit box or give them to one of YOUR friends who will not release them to anyone but you. You need to do this ASAP before those documents disappear. At least the last three years of your income tax returns as well. Monday morning, make appointments and go see those lawyers, with your documents, and settle on one of them. File for divorce or a legal separation immediately, asking for child support, spousal support, and physical/legal custody of your children as their primary caregiver. Also for sole use of the house. Do this quickly. This will accomplish the following:
1. Get him out of the house legally (change the locks) and make it your safe place.
2. Keep him from taking the children god-knows-where. He has that right at this point. Even out of the country.
3. Keeps him from spending all of YOUR marital funds on his whoring around. 1/2 of that money is YOURS. Don't let him finance his infidelity on the backs of you and your children.
4. Sends a very clear message about what the rest of his life is going to look like. You cannot nice an unrepentant WH back. You have to go blow their socks off and blow their head right out of their back passages and get their attention.
But, you may say. I don't want to make him angry. I don't want to drive him away. I don't WANT a divorce. Believe me, I so hear you. I really do. It is absolutely unfair to you, that at your lowest point, you have to be so strong and focused. There is nothing fair about this.
Please consider. He's already angry. He is telling you that he hates you, that you are a mistake, by extension that his children are a mistake, and that he thinks so little of you that he has been whoring around for your entire marriage. That's not love. He's already gone, if not physically, then mentally and emotionally. He's left you in the dust. He's planning on a divorce to get rid of you so he can go live his life as a single man. He is not only out the door, but over the hill. You need to strike first and by doing so, make him respond to your demands, rather than dance to his tune.
I truly cannot tell you how very sorry I am. Let me reiterate, this is completely and totally unfair to you. Unfortunately, though, this is the way it is and you cannot hide from it. Please come back here often for help, support, and to vent. We are all here for you.