Atkkcc, I'm so sorry you found us, but this site is a great source of support.
The one thing I wanted to mention is to please NOT burden your kids with the explanation that 'daddy broke his vows.' It's not fair to lay that kind of intensely personal and adult information on the shoulders of your kids.
I'd simply tell them that you and daddy can no longer live together. The key to successful coparenting is NOT using the kids against each other, and if you tell them what a deadbeat their father really is, you're going to do damage to their relationship with him that you'll never be able to repair. So think long and hard before you burden them with such private marital information. My ex-husband (25 years ago) was the biggest cheater on the planet. I didn't tell my son the real reason I'd left his father. That's not something a 9 year old boy should be privy to. When we moved out and into our own place, I simply told him that mommy and daddy could no longer live together and that we made much better friends than we did husband and wife. And I left it at THAT.
Seems your husband wants to call all the shots. He wants a divorce BUT he wants to come back home while it happens so he can have all the comforts of home in the process. So you'll still be doing his laundry, cooking his food, cleaning his home, making his lunch, and all the other things he probably hasn't done since the day he married you.
Unfortunately, your options are limited as you're financially dependent on him and that gives him an advantage over you at the moment. I'd seriously consider sharpening up my skills and getting a job because you're going to need one in the very near future.
Lastly, if he wants to come home, I'd set up a makeshift cot in the basement or garage. He's chosen to separate? Fine. That doesn't mean you launder his clothes and wipe his ass for him. It means he gets the privilege of living in the marital home while HE decides to break up a marriage you had no hand in breaking up. It doesn't mean you wait on him hand and foot while he goes about his ugly business.
Get to a lawyer YESTERDAY, atkkcc.
Good luck to you.