My H would send them these massive sweet emails and texts, and talk for hours on the phone. One phone call with some girl was over 3 hours.
His texts to me are one word responses. He doesn't even read my emails, and he rushes to get off the phone with me. Every time I try to talk he says, "aren't you going to be home soon? Let's just talk then, you know how I hate being on the phone."
They got 3 hours of being called beautiful and told how sexy they are. I get a guy on the sofa in his underpants, farting in bed, and getting told that because I am a woman, my place is in the kitchen. And apparently I should feel honored that he "picked me" by not leaving me for one of his online sluts. Lucky me I guess?
At least the current man "only" cyber-cheated.
"Love means never having to say you're sorry."
Let me see, strange man in a gym, Hungarian accent, married, safe, right?
Yep, after supporting her through 9 years of graduate school to get her PhD in clinical psychology, paying off all of her student loans to acchieve said doctorate, Mr. Gymratt is aparrently her soulmate after 6 months!
Reads like a Stephen King horror novel.
But wait... The story is not yet over!
There is hope. Once you truly commit to focusing on yourself and letting go, it comes back, and you will appreciate it like never before.
It is one of the many issues I still struggle with 3+ years out, especially given the fact that I still don't know who that man was. Nevermind, that he compounds the problem, by refusing to even acknowledge the fact.
I want to believe he was just a fuckwit but, can't honestly do so, simply because he was all those ways that I was told were the "...ideal that is in your head,..not me."
He was,..just not for me.
About the only thing, that I keep coming to is that, it really shouldn't be so hard. Never has been for me. Seems to hold true for him too, in anything else he truly wants...
BW~ me 38
CH~ he 38
20 years on 12/12/12, 2 kiddos 14&17
DD#1 July 28, 2010 Admitted to EA. A went underground.
DD#2 August 19,2010 Admitted PA
I will never forget the time I called him during the day. He answered with an irritated "Yeah?"
She called him later that evening and he said, "Hey! How are you doing?!!" Super excited voice.
He treated me and the kids like crap. He treated her and her kids like royalty.
Married 27 years. Together 29.
3 children 24, 21, 14
OW sex addict and romance addict according to MC.
Story of my life. But here is the part that is the saddest to me. He is a KISA to this broad. But, let one of this daughter's come to him with a minor dilema and he will tell her,
"You're a smart girl. Figure it out. You get started and I will come help IF you really need me."
That is the one way I was able to shut him down about the OW "needing him." When I pointed that difference out, he deflated like a balloon..Hell, he 180'd me after that...Im fine with it.
Oh, and apparently, they fight alot....based on the DV charges I can pull up from the local courts...NEVER and I mean NEVER has he lifted a hand to me. Now, we have beat each other with sentences, but it never got physical. Trust and believe, I don't envy her.
[This message edited by NikkiD at 1:11 PM, February 10th (Monday)]
A was in progress, but not DD yet. XH would purposely dress like me, just to tease. If I changed my shirt, so would he. XH doesn't do this w/OW.
Read some email, pre & post exposure. Even the ones from the deep lurve period weren't very affectionate. No salutation from either, very brief, not very affectionate, just a name at the end. Email from XH, always had really long, goofy salutations & signatures.
XH wasn't keen on hanging w/my friends, wanted me to hang w/his, which I would. XH doesn't bring OW around his friends, the first few months that he did, he didn't introduce her to anybody. Exact opposite w/us. Now XH hangs out w/OW's friends, I assume b/c they don't know that it was an A.
[This message edited by silverhopes at 4:18 AM, February 11th (Tuesday)]
Last party we went to when it was time to eat, he grabbed a plate from the buffet line and went and sat by a really cute 20 year old instead of me. I let him have it when we left.
So, now I hear when he and OW go somewhere he stands by her side the whole time. Jerk.
half the fun of literally anything is being able to impress someone. If the people he is with, male or female, don't applaud, cheer, show complete respect or adoration, he is bored.
I identify with this one!
I recently had dinner with XWSO in a lovely restaurant. He starts smarming the waitress. His whole mien changes, his voice changes. And he wondered how I always knew when he had a new bimbo!!!!! Honestly. Another way I always knew was his interests would change to whatever the latest girl's were. It's like he has no real interests of his own and just soak hers up by osmosis. Yet, I know that's not true because he is a strong-willed person who practices radical sports. He's definitely another KISA. Tee hee, I think his latest bimbo will be his undoing, though. She may not be educated and she played the poor-little-me role perfectly to snare him but, man that girl has killer shark instincts!
"I could have missed the pain, but I would have had to miss the dance." Garth Brooks