Then a year of false R, lots of lies. I knew in my gut, something wasn't right, but thought it was him lying about that AP which he had claimed lasted just a couple months.
A year later, totally blindsided and nuclear explosion on dday2 when he was fired for sexual harassment and I found out about 3 more AP's totalling 5 YEARS.
Yep, I was naive.
Former 80s Icon wishful thinking
[This message edited by cl131716 at 5:25 AM, February 10th (Monday)]
the i got very suspicious around dec-jan of 2012. she was working very long hours trying to save the family business, sometimes slept over at her fathers house, and was still going out 2-3 times a week with girlfriends, always to the same club (because the bar tender would give them free drinks - so she said but in reality he was one of her AP). i was taking care of our daughter and sometimes would wake up in the middle of the night or even early am and find her not here. she always had stories - at her cousins, at her fathers, still out but coming back, wasnt going to come back but go straight to work, with friends, etc . and i accepted them. i believed her, i trusted her. she gaslighted me again then.
when she broke it off with her LT AP he called her 3 or so times and texted her maybe 50 in about 3 hours. i accepted and believed her when she said it was her friends.
i feel really stupid now. i feel like my innocence has been ripped away. we can rebuild trust over a period of time and have trust in our marriage. BUT i KNOW that i will NEVER TRUST ANYONE 100% EVER AGAIN. ive seen where that can lead.
I was very uncomfortable with texting at all hours, but when I checked initially all of the texts were about running (they were training partners). By the time EA was in full swing and PA started she had locked her phone.
Lots of signs, all of which he could have easily explained (even the new phone) b/c I trusted him. Completely. He would have gaslighted and I would have bought it.
My H had been acting unhappy, and searching for something to help him find happiness again. In fact his A started because he was considering D, not because we had a bad marriage, but because in his brokenness he couldn't see what was causing his unhappiness. It was because of this he met OW. She was a D attorney, and a work friend said I know this lady, and she can probably answer a lot of your questions. She pounced.
He was number 3 in her line of married men.
But his behavior changed after it started, and he became even crankier when he was home, and less communicative. When he took his weekly trips to her town (for work) he quit calling to say good night to the kids, and would just not answer my calls when I tried to call him. Jerk. When Dday finally rolled around 7 months later, he was amazed that I could tell him the date it started.
They think they are so smart when they are having their A's, but they are not.