Topic: Survey: Who experienced hysterical bonding and who didn't?
Member # 37063
| Posted: 12:29 AM, February 10th (Monday), 2014|
No. Even through (false) R I just couldn't stand him touching me. Tried to have sex a few times but never could follow through. Ended up sobbing each time. I'm glad I didn't have sex with him again after dday though. He turned out to be a colossal asshole with many awful sexual perversions. I feel dirty enough having had sex with him before dday.
Me BxW, him SA NPD WxH
1 wonderful toddler - sole legal custody to me and supervised visitation to xwh.
Posts: 242 | Registered: Oct 2012
Member # 39073
| Posted: 12:32 AM, February 10th (Monday), 2014|
Thirteen years ago when I found out that my WS was addicted to porn (which was something we both agreed was wrong before we got married) there was HB for a couple months. I wanted so badly to erase the images he had in his mind and heart with those other women. I wanted so bad to prove that I was worth being faithful to. Then one day, I was too exhausted from a day at the beach and said not tonight. He returned to his pouty self after that so the magic for me disappeared. We still had sex but it wasn't the same for me anymore.
When learning about his EA, I felt the urges to HB. He wasn't done with his feelings for AP, his focus was on her, and wasn't aware of my feelings. I resisted them because I knew that he didn't care about me. By the time he was ready to be faithful to me, his wife, instead of his AP my strong feelings to HB were gone.
I am scared sometimes that I will never want to be with him again. He hurt me so bad and still just doesn't get it.
Me - BS (53) Him-WS(58)
Her OW(55) HighSchoolGirlfriend
Together 30 years Married 28 Kids 24,21,18
D day Feb 26 2013 after 20 months
D day March 4 they met again "to say goodbye"
D day April 2 found out about secret email
Posts: 184 | Registered: Apr 2013
Member # 41294
| Posted: 12:57 AM, February 10th (Monday), 2014|
Yes. Big time.
It lasted until DDay#2. Never touched each other after that. She acted offended and wanted a S, but in reality I wouldn't have touched her with a 10-foot pole even if she had wanted to.
I still can't look at her body without feeling sick a little. And she's been working out a lot, so she looks great to most people. But for me...
Master of my Fate, Captain of my Soul.
BS 42, WW 41. 18y married
DS10 Autism, DD8
OM: Reformed wife-beater ex-con
D filed 1/14/14 by WW (never warn them, they'll get ahead)
Married a powder keg
Posts: 585 | Registered: Nov 2013 | From: California
Member # 35526
| Posted: 1:17 AM, February 10th (Monday), 2014|
Hell no. I wouldn't have touched that disgusting, dysfunctional POS even if she was hosed out with bleach. It would have been like kissing the floor of a truck stop bathroom. I would have hysterically barfed.
I Divorced Her.
Posts: 355 | Registered: May 2012
Member # 37215
| Posted: 1:28 AM, February 10th (Monday), 2014|
NO. My last sexual experience with him was probably a month before dday and it was lousy and pathetic ... now I know why.
Me (BS): 42 Children: DD 18, DS 15
Settled at mediation
Officially divorced ... SOON!
Posts: 2117 | Registered: Oct 2012
♂ New Member
Member # 42125
| Posted: 1:31 AM, February 10th (Monday), 2014|
No, I have no interest in touching her
Posts: 34 | Registered: Jan 2014 | From: Grand Rapids
Member # 36857
| Posted: 2:06 AM, February 10th (Monday), 2014|
Me: BH 56.........Her: WW 43
DD: 6..........DS: 4
Married for six years.
DDay: 12-25-11 Divorced: 7-15-12
"It's like a nightmare within a nightmare, which in and of itself is a nightmare!"
Posts: 919 | Registered: Sep 2012 | From: U.S.A.
♀ New Member
Member # 42239
| Posted: 3:08 AM, February 10th (Monday), 2014|
Yes it was so insane to find out and within 48 Hours i needed him lime there was no tomorrow. Its been 8 weeks now and yes i do feel closer to him than ever before. Sexually that is. Pain hasn't stopped yet and I'm not sure it ever will completely go away. Making love with passion is very important to me, it has helped my emotional roller coaster immensely that he is being so intamite with me.
together 6 years
2 kids age 5 and 9months
ONS(him) on the 10/11/2013
Posts: 5 | Registered: Jan 2014 | From: New Zealand
♀ New Member
Member # 40258
| Posted: 3:22 AM, February 10th (Monday), 2014|
"If you think the grass is greener on the other side, it's because it's fertilized with bullshit."
"If you think the grass is greener, you're welcome to take a hike"
R: one foot in, and one foot out
Posts: 50 | Registered: Aug 2013 | From: Atlanta GA
Member # 24416
| Posted: 4:07 AM, February 10th (Monday), 2014|
No! The first time we had sex after D-day, I cried.
2 year LTA-double betrayal, D-day 1-26-2009 and many months of TT. 2 more recent d-days-way overstepped boundaries.
Married 27 years. Together 29.
3 children 24, 21, 14
OW sex addict and romance addict according to MC.
Posts: 1614 | Registered: Jun 2009
Member # 35387
| Posted: 4:58 AM, February 10th (Monday), 2014|
Married 9 years, together for 11 years
2 children (7 years & 4 years)
Discovery of PA 04/15/12 (It only lasted a "couple of weeks" but it still shattered my world.)
Posts: 458 | Registered: Apr 2012
Member # 41986
| Posted: 6:12 AM, February 10th (Monday), 2014|
me - bh
her - lara01
from 09/11 - 05/13
2 ONS, 10 sexting partners, 1 LT EA/PA
??/06/13 DD/1 - admits to LT EA, begin false R.
01/13/14 DD/2 - LTA was PA.
01/18/14 DD/3 - sexting 5 guys.
01/19/14 DD/4 - 2 ONS with different guys
Posts: 487 | Registered: Jan 2014
♂ New Member
Member # 42214
| Posted: 6:25 AM, February 10th (Monday), 2014|
Yes, still in it 4 weeks after Dday.
Me - BS 33
Her - WW 34
Kids - 14b, 9b, 8g, 6b
Married - 2003
Together - 1996
D-Day: 1/10/2014 (Admitted EA/PA 10/2012 - 3/2013)
Posts: 11 | Registered: Jan 2014
Member # 40699
| Posted: 6:35 AM, February 10th (Monday), 2014|
Dday- 7/23 yes although it didn't start until 6 weeks after I had our son so around sept.
After all other ddays- no
Me BS 31
Him WS 34 Trying4change
Together 3 years, married for one
D-day: 07/23/13 cybersex with COW
D-day: 12/27/13 found out he met and kissed a "friend" in 2011
"A clear and innocent conscience fears nothing."
Posts: 935 | Registered: Sep 2013 | From: Oklahoma
Member # 42170
| Posted: 7:22 AM, February 10th (Monday), 2014|
YES and it makes me crazy! I go from kicking him out of the house to taking him back in and HB. Then the next night he is in the spare bedroom. Then, the next night, I need him and we are having sex again. Oh, and if I want sex and he is too tired or not in the mood...
"Your value doesn't decrease based on someone's inability to see your worth." -Unknown Wise Person
Posts: 337 | Registered: Jan 2014 | From: North Carolina, United States
♀ New Member
Member # 40694
| Posted: 7:27 AM, February 10th (Monday), 2014|
yes, very briefly. Now there is zero...
wake me up when it's over...
Posts: 45 | Registered: Sep 2013
Member # 41404
| Posted: 7:33 AM, February 10th (Monday), 2014|
Sad to say NO (with a hopeful "not yet.") Although since it has been over four months since our d-day, I'm not counting on it.
I think there are a lot of factors in play. At first it was hard for me to just get past the A. The last few weeks have been really rough. Suffice to say that I don't yet have full disclosure, and he's still TT'ing. Add to that his (prior) use of on-line porn, and it just makes me sick that he would prefer to get his stimulation and satisfaction over the net than with me, the woman that he professes to love. He describes the OW as his "sexual plaything."
We recently had a conversation about sex in general, in our "hierarchy of needs." I had stated that I needed the emotional connection - to "make love" - before I could just fu**. He said the opposite. He needs to fu** before he can "make love."
We're such polar opposites. I don't know if/how we will be able to get past this.
M 30 yrs, together 33 yrs, no children.
D-Day #1: 9/23/2013, EA 15+ months, PA with 34 YO business assoc
D-Day #2: 11/27/2013, OW, EA for 2-3 yrs (2005-2007), PA
D-Day #3: 6/6/2014, found the sex video
Status: Putting on my bitch bo
Posts: 107 | Registered: Nov 2013 | From: Washington DC
Member # 40379
| Posted: 7:39 AM, February 10th (Monday), 2014|
I don't know about HB, but sexually nothing really changed - we had an active, loving sex life before and after.
Me 44 (BS)
Him 52 (SAWH)
DDay (too many to mention), but 1st 06/2011
Children - two, mine from my previous marriage
Final straw 6/6/14
You're braver than you believe, and stronger than you seem, and smarter than you think (A A Milne)
Posts: 190 | Registered: Aug 2013 | From: England
Member # 41686
| Posted: 7:41 AM, February 10th (Monday), 2014|
Yes as well.
BH(me) | fWW
2 Kids - Married 2002
D-Day TT & EA | D-Day #2 PA
Posts: 360 | Registered: Dec 2013
Member # 29547
| Posted: 7:45 AM, February 10th (Monday), 2014|
But it seemed so strange that I would want to have sex with WH and still not want him to touch me!
It did help to feel closer but only briefly.
Am hoping to reconcile!! Am I crazy or what?
If we all did the things we are capable of doing we would literally astound ourselves-Thomas Edison
Posts: 322 | Registered: Sep 2010 | From: Pa
|Topic Posts: 132|
|Pages: 1 · 2 · 3 · 4 · 5 · 6 · 7|