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Just Found Out Post Reply     Print Topic    
User Topic: Survey: Who experienced hysterical bonding and who didn't?
alifeforesaken
♀ Member
Member # 41139
Default  Posted: 7:56 AM, February 10th (Monday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

None whatsoever. Our sex life wasn't great after DD was born, and we by chance got pregnant right around the time the A started but just before it got physical ( we didn't find out I was until way after it got physical). WH was always weird about sex during pregnancy and since I'm still pregnant there hasn't been much. Part of me wants some kind of contact and then part of me isn't sure I can handle it right now. I think I just want him to offer it and then not take it him up on it. If that makes sense.

[This message edited by alifeforesaken at 7:56 AM, February 10th (Monday)]


BW (31)
WH (32)
Children (1yr) (1 due Mar '14)
DD#1 - 9/28/13 DD#2 11/24/13

Posts: 84 | Registered: Oct 2013
marionwendy
♀ Member
Member # 41303
Default  Posted: 8:11 AM, February 10th (Monday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

YES! for about 5 weeks and started the very day I found out! (I thought I had lost my mind.) We are into our 5th month and the one thing that is still good between us is the intimacy? Strange?


BS-49
WS-50
Married-18
Together-21
Children-2

Life is not measured by the breaths we take
but by the moments that take our breath away.


Posts: 213 | Registered: Nov 2013 | From: canada
bionicgal
♀ Member
Member # 39803
Default  Posted: 8:16 AM, February 10th (Monday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Yes.
From day after dday to ??. Almost 9 months in, now. At first I think it was HB, but it is looking more like just us, now, happily!


me - BS (40s)
DDay - June 2013, A was 2+ months, EA then PA
In MC & Reconciling
An affair is more like a mental break than a relationship.

I edit, therefore I am.


Posts: 1774 | Registered: Jul 2013 | From: USA
MC_Jack
♂ Member
Member # 35016
Default  Posted: 8:21 AM, February 10th (Monday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Yes for approximately 15 months. Then my WW was injured running, which interrupted and ended the HB.


I am not a marriage counselor. I chose "MC Jack" because I like the Music City. I did know what MC stood for on this site. Duh.

Posts: 844 | Registered: Mar 2012 | From: West Coast of Hopa-hopa-land
AFrayedKnot
♂ Member
Member # 36622
Default  Posted: 8:26 AM, February 10th (Monday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

2 years out it's still going

It may not be as primal as it was in the beginning but its still there.


BS 39
fWS 36 (SurprisinglyOkay)
DD DS
A whole bunch of shit that got a lot worse before it got better.
"Knowing is half the battle"

Posts: 2528 | Registered: Aug 2012
tushnurse
♀ Member
Member # 21101
Default  Posted: 8:31 AM, February 10th (Monday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I'm kinda like Chico.

Once real R started HB did as well. At 5 years out it is still going on.
I think part of my healing was really dependent on my becoming comfortable with being a sexual being, and having nothing to loose.

Intimacy helped us heal.


Me: FBS
Him: FWS
Kids: 15 & 17
Married for 22 years now, was 16 at the time. .
D-Day Sept 26 2008
Fully R'd, and Happy Happy Happy

Posts: 7843 | Registered: Oct 2008 | From: St. Louis
kalimata
♂ Member
Member # 42104
Default  Posted: 8:35 AM, February 10th (Monday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I am a BH and YES I did experience hysterical bonding

Posts: 191 | Registered: Jan 2014 | From: USA
BrooklynLove
♀ Member
Member # 41800
Default  Posted: 8:45 AM, February 10th (Monday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Yes

DDay1 was November 23rd 2012 & DDay2 was November 28th 2012. WH left and came back home December 12th 2012 then HB started and lasted until March 2013. I got pregnant on Valentine's day 2013 and morning sickness put a stop to HB.


Will never be naive again...

BW - Me (28)
WH - Him my JH sweetheart (33)
Married - 8 years
2 babies - DD (3) and DD (5 months)
OW#1 - PA with classmate for 2 months
OW#2 - Some slut living oversees that needs a green card. EA & PA going on


Posts: 110 | Registered: Dec 2013 | From: USA
deena04
♀ Member
Member # 41741
Default  Posted: 8:52 AM, February 10th (Monday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Yes ! It was daily for about two weeks and dropped to like five times a week since (if that's a drop). Hubby says he wants it more now as well because the guilt of me not knowing affected him 'that way'. I totally don't understand it but ok.


Me BS mid-late 30s
Him WS knocking on 40 (lovemywife4ever)
blended family with lots of kiddos
together 5 years, married 8/13
D day 12/1/13
WH ONS had been 4/12
Getting ME back and moving to HAPPY - whatever that means
Filed, but may R after

Posts: 791 | Registered: Dec 2013
obliquestrat
♂ Member
Member # 42165
Default  Posted: 8:54 AM, February 10th (Monday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Starting with the night of D-Day: YES.

We're just over a month now, and it doesn't feel as "hysterical" as it used to, but the bond is stronger than ever. When I read about people saying it lasted 6 weeks, 2 months, 3 months, it scares me a bit because we have a really good thing rolling, and physical intimacy has been a major component of that. But I'm not entirely scared, because it feels pretty damn real at this point.


ME: BS 36 - HER: WS 33
TOGETHER: 2001 - MARRIED: 2008 - KIDS: 2 (3 and 1)
D-DAY: 1/6/2014 (accidentally discovered 3M EA which had developed into sexting, makeouts, tickets for biz trip to Disneyworld)
R, IC, MC, NC (coworker)

Posts: 109 | Registered: Jan 2014
NikkiD
♀ Member
Member # 38173
Default  Posted: 9:17 AM, February 10th (Monday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

DD1- Yes
DD2- HELL NAW...told him he cant EVA touch me. Still feel that way now.


"Spoil me with Loyalty; I can finance myself...."
ME: BS-33
HE: WS-32
Married 3 years, known 20
2 kids
D-Day #1 12/30/12
False Recovery
D-Day #2 1/21/14
LTA 5 years-ish
Riding the "Struggle Bus"
Living apart....

Posts: 668 | Registered: Jan 2013 | From: Midwest
overandone
Member
Member # 39162
Default  Posted: 9:36 AM, February 10th (Monday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Yes about 10 days after d-day - just to see if I could.Then about 10 days later, few days after that I invited him back into the bedroom. Been fine and regularly ever since.


Me - BW (54)
Him - fWS (61)
kiddies - daughters 22 and 27,son 22,
d-day - April 18 2012
R - but lots of bumps in the long road

Posts: 207 | Registered: May 2013 | From: uk
solus sto
♀ Member
Member # 30989
Default  Posted: 9:44 AM, February 10th (Monday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

With D-day 1, yes. Subsequent ones, no.

I wish we did not experience it after the first, to tell you the truth; it lulled me into a sense of security that was completely unwarranted.


BS-me, 52
WH (Trac-fone), 52, PD
2 kids-DD25, DS18
multiple d-days
DIVORCING
Alone, most strangely, I live on~Rupert Brooke

Posts: 8350 | Registered: Jan 2011 | From: midwest
Gemstone
♀ Member
Member # 42000
Default  Posted: 10:47 AM, February 10th (Monday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Yes

Partners affair was emotional not physical, maybe that makes a difference.

Brilliant sex but I am still hurt about it all, makes no sense but we are closer. Husband very remorseful, that also helps. Been 8 months since D day. sex not as often now as in beginning but more than before and much better, we also talk more and that is a big plus


Posts: 97 | Registered: Jan 2014 | From: United Kindgdon
Hannah25
♀ Member
Member # 42198
Default  Posted: 12:13 PM, February 10th (Monday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

YES

It feels like I shouldn't want it, but I do.


ME: 35
WBF: 44
Together 11 years
DDay: 1/12/14
DDay2: 3/28/14

Posts: 61 | Registered: Jan 2014 | From: Ohio
SoVerySadNow
♀ Member
Member # 36711
Default  Posted: 12:31 PM, February 10th (Monday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Yes.

And if there is ever a dd2, I'll be HB with someone else.


Me:BW
Him:WH
D-day(s),after years of TT and Gaslighting was Labor Day Weekend 2012, continuing for a week after. *Dammit! More TT 3/9/13
Really trending toward D- planning about it is my "happy place" now.

Posts: 1283 | Registered: Sep 2012 | From: Sunny Florida
BryanP37
♂ New Member
Member # 39685
Default  Posted: 12:37 PM, February 10th (Monday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Initially, HELL NO! I threw her out upon confrontation and filed for divorce. Went dark after divorce was final despite some attempts on her part to get in touch with me. She managed to contact me 4 months later and offered the olive branch. She had changed quite a bit in that time.

Don't know if it is considered HB after being divorced 4 months but it started then and continues now with increasing intensity as we are rebuilding our relationship from scratch.

[This message edited by BryanP37 at 12:52 PM, February 10th (Monday)]


BS: Me-38
XWS: Her-34
Married 7 yrs, together 9 years-No kids
Ex had 4 month PA with her best friends husband. Other flings early in marriage confessed during discovery.
Divorce final 6-25-2013.
Carefully reconciling after divorce. 10/2013

Posts: 27 | Registered: Jun 2013 | From: Texas
IamDyingInside
♀ Member
Member # 41054
Default  Posted: 12:45 PM, February 10th (Monday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

YES! It lasted about 2 months and has tapered off some. But overall we are still more "active" now than before and during the A. It is a crazy thing, glad you posted this question, something I had been wondering about myself!


Me: BW (41)
Him: WH (41)
2 Daughters - 20 and 16
Married 19 years, together 24 years
DDay - 09/08/2013
NC - 10/10/13 Broken 10/11/13
I feel like we are both trying R but I am just so skeptical of everything!! Hell, I don't know much right

Posts: 71 | Registered: Oct 2013 | From: Lost in USA
Breezy150
♀ Member
Member # 42421
Default  Posted: 12:50 PM, February 10th (Monday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Yes, right after d-day, and the first time he was home. He works out of town. I think it is over because he is about to be home again and the thought disgusts me.


I am so disappointed when a liar's pants don't actually start on fire.

BS me 41
WH 42 his whore was my friend
Married 24 years
Finally finding R?
3 kids 3 grand kids
DDay 1 -Jan 2 2014
DDay 2 -Feb 20 2014 A went underground fo


Posts: 539 | Registered: Feb 2014
fst86411
♂ Member
Member # 41644
Default  Posted: 12:57 PM, February 10th (Monday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Yes, it only lasted a week though. I told her I thought she was trying to buy me back with sex and that was the end of that and the new beginning of our old sexless marriage. Why am I still here?


Met 1997
Married 2002
D-Day July 8, 2012

Who knows what went on?


Posts: 59 | Registered: Dec 2013
Topic Posts: 132
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