Topic: Survey: Who experienced hysterical bonding and who didn't?
Member # 41139
| Posted: 7:56 AM, February 10th (Monday), 2014|
None whatsoever. Our sex life wasn't great after DD was born, and we by chance got pregnant right around the time the A started but just before it got physical ( we didn't find out I was until way after it got physical). WH was always weird about sex during pregnancy and since I'm still pregnant there hasn't been much. Part of me wants some kind of contact and then part of me isn't sure I can handle it right now. I think I just want him to offer it and then not take it him up on it. If that makes sense.
[This message edited by alifeforesaken at 7:56 AM, February 10th (Monday)]
Children (1yr) (1 due Mar '14)
DD#1 - 9/28/13 DD#2 11/24/13
Posts: 84 | Registered: Oct 2013
Member # 41303
| Posted: 8:11 AM, February 10th (Monday), 2014|
YES! for about 5 weeks and started the very day I found out! (I thought I had lost my mind.) We are into our 5th month and the one thing that is still good between us is the intimacy? Strange?
Life is not measured by the breaths we take
but by the moments that take our breath away.
Posts: 213 | Registered: Nov 2013 | From: canada
Member # 39803
| Posted: 8:16 AM, February 10th (Monday), 2014|
From day after dday to ??. Almost 9 months in, now. At first I think it was HB, but it is looking more like just us, now, happily!
me - BS (40s)
DDay - June 2013, A was 2+ months, EA then PA
In MC & Reconciling
An affair is more like a mental break than a relationship.
I edit, therefore I am.
Posts: 1754 | Registered: Jul 2013 | From: USA
Member # 35016
| Posted: 8:21 AM, February 10th (Monday), 2014|
Yes for approximately 15 months. Then my WW was injured running, which interrupted and ended the HB.
I am not a marriage counselor. I chose "MC Jack" because I like the Music City. I did know what MC stood for on this site. Duh.
Posts: 843 | Registered: Mar 2012 | From: West Coast of Hopa-hopa-land
Member # 36622
| Posted: 8:26 AM, February 10th (Monday), 2014|
2 years out it's still going
It may not be as primal as it was in the beginning but its still there.
fWS 36 (SurprisinglyOkay)
A whole bunch of shit that got a lot worse before it got better.
"Knowing is half the battle"
Posts: 2527 | Registered: Aug 2012
Member # 21101
| Posted: 8:31 AM, February 10th (Monday), 2014|
I'm kinda like Chico.
Once real R started HB did as well. At 5 years out it is still going on.
I think part of my healing was really dependent on my becoming comfortable with being a sexual being, and having nothing to loose.
Intimacy helped us heal.
Kids: 15 & 17
Married for 22 years now, was 16 at the time. .
D-Day Sept 26 2008
Fully R'd, and Happy Happy Happy
Posts: 7803 | Registered: Oct 2008 | From: St. Louis
Member # 42104
| Posted: 8:35 AM, February 10th (Monday), 2014|
I am a BH and YES I did experience hysterical bonding
Posts: 191 | Registered: Jan 2014 | From: USA
Member # 41800
| Posted: 8:45 AM, February 10th (Monday), 2014|
DDay1 was November 23rd 2012 & DDay2 was November 28th 2012. WH left and came back home December 12th 2012 then HB started and lasted until March 2013. I got pregnant on Valentine's day 2013 and morning sickness put a stop to HB.
Will never be naive again...
BW - Me (28)
WH - Him my JH sweetheart (33)
Married - 8 years
2 babies - DD (3) and DD (5 months)
OW#1 - PA with classmate for 2 months
OW#2 - Some slut living oversees that needs a green card. EA & PA going on
Posts: 110 | Registered: Dec 2013 | From: USA
Member # 41741
| Posted: 8:52 AM, February 10th (Monday), 2014|
Yes ! It was daily for about two weeks and dropped to like five times a week since (if that's a drop). Hubby says he wants it more now as well because the guilt of me not knowing affected him 'that way'. I totally don't understand it but ok.
Me BS mid-late 30s
Him WS knocking on 40 (lovemywife4ever)
blended family with lots of kiddos
together 5 years, married 8/13
D day 12/1/13
WH ONS had been 4/12
Getting ME back and moving to HAPPY - whatever that means
Filed, but may R after
Posts: 787 | Registered: Dec 2013
Member # 42165
| Posted: 8:54 AM, February 10th (Monday), 2014|
Starting with the night of D-Day: YES.
We're just over a month now, and it doesn't feel as "hysterical" as it used to, but the bond is stronger than ever. When I read about people saying it lasted 6 weeks, 2 months, 3 months, it scares me a bit because we have a really good thing rolling, and physical intimacy has been a major component of that. But I'm not entirely scared, because it feels pretty damn real at this point.
ME: BS 36 - HER: WS 33
TOGETHER: 2001 - MARRIED: 2008 - KIDS: 2 (3 and 1)
D-DAY: 1/6/2014 (accidentally discovered 3M EA which had developed into sexting, makeouts, tickets for biz trip to Disneyworld)
R, IC, MC, NC (coworker)
Posts: 109 | Registered: Jan 2014
Member # 38173
| Posted: 9:17 AM, February 10th (Monday), 2014|
DD2- HELL NAW...told him he cant EVA touch me. Still feel that way now.
"Spoil me with Loyalty; I can finance myself...."
Married 3 years, known 20
D-Day #1 12/30/12
D-Day #2 1/21/14
LTA 5 years-ish
Riding the "Struggle Bus"
Posts: 668 | Registered: Jan 2013 | From: Midwest
Member # 39162
| Posted: 9:36 AM, February 10th (Monday), 2014|
Yes about 10 days after d-day - just to see if I could.Then about 10 days later, few days after that I invited him back into the bedroom. Been fine and regularly ever since.
Me - BW (54)
Him - fWS (61)
kiddies - daughters 22 and 27,son 22,
d-day - April 18 2012
R - but lots of bumps in the long road
Posts: 203 | Registered: May 2013 | From: uk
Member # 30989
| Posted: 9:44 AM, February 10th (Monday), 2014|
With D-day 1, yes. Subsequent ones, no.
I wish we did not experience it after the first, to tell you the truth; it lulled me into a sense of security that was completely unwarranted.
WH (Trac-fone), 52, PD
2 kids-DD25, DS18
Alone, most strangely, I live on~Rupert Brooke
Posts: 8335 | Registered: Jan 2011 | From: midwest
Member # 42000
| Posted: 10:47 AM, February 10th (Monday), 2014|
Partners affair was emotional not physical, maybe that makes a difference.
Brilliant sex but I am still hurt about it all, makes no sense but we are closer. Husband very remorseful, that also helps. Been 8 months since D day. sex not as often now as in beginning but more than before and much better, we also talk more and that is a big plus
Posts: 97 | Registered: Jan 2014 | From: United Kindgdon
Member # 42198
| Posted: 12:13 PM, February 10th (Monday), 2014|
It feels like I shouldn't want it, but I do.
Together 11 years
Posts: 61 | Registered: Jan 2014 | From: Ohio
Member # 36711
| Posted: 12:31 PM, February 10th (Monday), 2014|
And if there is ever a dd2, I'll be HB with someone else.
D-day(s),after years of TT and Gaslighting was Labor Day Weekend 2012, continuing for a week after. *Dammit! More TT 3/9/13
Really trending toward D- planning about it is my "happy place" now.
Posts: 1280 | Registered: Sep 2012 | From: Sunny Florida
♂ New Member
Member # 39685
| Posted: 12:37 PM, February 10th (Monday), 2014|
Initially, HELL NO! I threw her out upon confrontation and filed for divorce. Went dark after divorce was final despite some attempts on her part to get in touch with me. She managed to contact me 4 months later and offered the olive branch. She had changed quite a bit in that time.
Don't know if it is considered HB after being divorced 4 months but it started then and continues now with increasing intensity as we are rebuilding our relationship from scratch.
[This message edited by BryanP37 at 12:52 PM, February 10th (Monday)]
Married 7 yrs, together 9 years-No kids
Ex had 4 month PA with her best friends husband. Other flings early in marriage confessed during discovery.
Divorce final 6-25-2013.
Carefully reconciling after divorce. 10/2013
Posts: 27 | Registered: Jun 2013 | From: Texas
Member # 41054
| Posted: 12:45 PM, February 10th (Monday), 2014|
YES! It lasted about 2 months and has tapered off some. But overall we are still more "active" now than before and during the A. It is a crazy thing, glad you posted this question, something I had been wondering about myself!
Me: BW (41)
Him: WH (41)
2 Daughters - 20 and 16
Married 19 years, together 24 years
DDay - 09/08/2013
NC - 10/10/13 Broken 10/11/13
I feel like we are both trying R but I am just so skeptical of everything!! Hell, I don't know much right
Posts: 71 | Registered: Oct 2013 | From: Lost in USA
Member # 42421
| Posted: 12:50 PM, February 10th (Monday), 2014|
Yes, right after d-day, and the first time he was home. He works out of town. I think it is over because he is about to be home again and the thought disgusts me.
I am so disappointed when a liar's pants don't actually start on fire.
BS me 41
WH 42 his whore was my friend
Married 24 years
Finally finding R?
3 kids 3 grand kids
DDay 1 -Jan 2 2014
DDay 2 -Feb 20 2014 A went underground fo
Posts: 539 | Registered: Feb 2014
Member # 41644
| Posted: 12:57 PM, February 10th (Monday), 2014|
Yes, it only lasted a week though. I told her I thought she was trying to buy me back with sex and that was the end of that and the new beginning of our old sexless marriage. Why am I still here?
D-Day July 8, 2012
Who knows what went on?
Posts: 59 | Registered: Dec 2013
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