Topic: Survey: Who experienced hysterical bonding and who didn't?
Member # 38232
| Posted: 1:03 PM, February 10th (Monday), 2014|
Not after either Dday. Our sex life had always been active and adventurous. Took one day after DD#1 before we had sex,two days after DD#2,then we were back to our 5-6 times a week. How long was it before we were making love and mind movies didn't interfere? Several months. I truly believe it was our intimate connection that has gotten us this far in R.
Kids: Seven...yes,you read that right,and yes-we do know what causes them :)
Dday#1 1/29/2013(ONS with coworker)
Dday#2 4/8/2013(6 month LD PA with coworker,over for six months at time of discovery)
Reconciling...in all our
Posts: 73 | Registered: Jan 2013 | From: South
Member # 30346
| Posted: 1:07 PM, February 10th (Monday), 2014|
Yes. And my ex was having gay affairs, our LL came back with a vengeance until the 2nd DDay 6 months later. I walked out and never looked back.
People are always surprised when I tell them I really didn't know he was gay. But, he was sexually/emotionally attracted to me.
me...BS, 43 years old, 2 small kids
WS, 41, multiple gay affairs
M 15 years, together 17
"For whatever we lose, like a you or a me, it's always ourselves we find in the sea" ee cummings
Posts: 4153 | Registered: Dec 2010 | From: South
Member # 42406
| Posted: 1:42 PM, February 10th (Monday), 2014|
YES. I am still way deep in it. It is really good, though. Mind blowing. I could do him for week. My sex drive always was a lot more than his, though.
Me: BW, 47
Him: WH, 48
Married: 21 yrs.
Posts: 55 | Registered: Feb 2014 | From: Washington
Member # 41298
| Posted: 2:58 PM, February 10th (Monday), 2014|
But we were separated before she knew I knew.
Have since R'd, but no HB.
6 Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. 7 And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your mind
Posts: 223 | Registered: Nov 2013 | From: NB Canada
Member # 31656
| Posted: 3:29 PM, February 10th (Monday), 2014|
No, all physical intimacy stopped when I found out the truth and never really came back to normal.
Me -BH 48
D Day #1 9/09 (found out about friendship, she promised NC...she lied)
D day #2 1/11 (found out EA on going...she lied)
D day #3 4/11 (found out EA was a PA...still lying)
M 16 years, 3 kids
Divorced - 1/13
Posts: 106 | Registered: Mar 2011
Member # 33806
| Posted: 4:56 PM, February 10th (Monday), 2014|
Sex should never buy one's way back into a marriage..IMHO there are other needs that need to be met first..
Don't tie your happiness to the tail of somebody else's kite
Posts: 1193 | Registered: Nov 2011
Member # 40229
| Posted: 5:00 PM, February 10th (Monday), 2014|
Nope, was disgusted that he climbed on top of and fornicated with a goat looking troll. He was going to have to EARN that platinum va jay jay back. Didn't happen, he fell off the wagon and gobbled up her ego kibbles.
I don't need further confirmation of what a fuckwit he is. I already have plenty, thanks very much. -SBB
Posts: 2263 | Registered: Aug 2013 | From: AZ
Member # 40203
| Posted: 5:10 PM, February 10th (Monday), 2014|
Yes, lasted approximately one month, then DDay 2 hit. After that shock, about another 8 weeks. Now, it is still pretty strong but has tapered off. Still pretty sweet though!!!
Posts: 162 | Registered: Aug 2013 | From: Ohio
Member # 38805
| Posted: 5:12 PM, February 10th (Monday), 2014|
Yes, for about a month. I triggered the first time and asked questions. It's pretty much back to normal now I feel i can be physically affectionate again. We've always had a pretty great sex life, though. But the sex around the time of the A, it was clear he was angry at me for something.
[This message edited by hobbeskat at 5:18 PM, February 10th (Monday)]
Posts: 308 | Registered: Mar 2013
Member # 24719
| Posted: 5:18 PM, February 10th (Monday), 2014|
Yes. Still in dday2 HB. After dday1, it lasted about 6 months. It helped build back the intimacy he had used porn to squander away.
Me- 40- BS Him- 36- WH D-day#1 5/25/09 3 mo. EA d-day#2 11/06/13 Prostitute 11/5/13 in R
"I've seen your flag on the marble arch, our love is not a victory march, it's a cold and broken hallelujah."- Leonard Cohen
Posts: 2256 | Registered: Jul 2009 | From: Midwest
Member # 31868
| Posted: 5:24 PM, February 10th (Monday), 2014|
No, didn't have the HB here. The impact of the EA on me was such that it took quite a while to recover interest.
When you put someone on a pedestal, they quickly learn two things. The view is mighty good from up there, and it is a fine vantage from which to kick.
Posts: 183 | Registered: Apr 2011 | From: Hawaii
Member # 41666
| Posted: 5:30 PM, February 10th (Monday), 2014|
Yes. Just about 1 week, though.
Posts: 261 | Registered: Dec 2013 | From: United States
Member # 40161
| Posted: 5:30 PM, February 10th (Monday), 2014|
Me: BW - 46
Him: WH - 49
MOW: my BFF from college and good friend for 25 yrs
Married 14 years, 2 Tweens
DD: 5/20/13 2 year long EA/PAs (one 7 yrs ago and one this past year)
Status: day by day, in MC, working on R
Posts: 141 | Registered: Aug 2013 | From: roses303
Member # 27035
| Posted: 5:32 PM, February 10th (Monday), 2014|
No. Hysteria of complete detachment? Yes - my hysteria at his detachment.
"On particularly rough days when I'm sure I can't possibly endure, I like to remind myself that my track record for getting through bad days so far is 100% and that's pretty good."
Posts: 5189 | Registered: Jan 2010 | From: Midwest
Member # 35059
| Posted: 5:44 PM, February 10th (Monday), 2014|
Yes - dammit
BW 53 WXH 56 & still bewildered
Just trust yourself, then you will know how to live.
Posts: 506 | Registered: Mar 2012 | From: the south
♀ New Member
Member # 41861
| Posted: 5:48 PM, February 10th (Monday), 2014|
Yes. Very intense and very hysterical.
Currently Divorced - living in same household and exploring the chances of a new start and new marriage. It is all on him.
Posts: 22 | Registered: Dec 2013
♀ New Member
Member # 42306
| Posted: 5:57 PM, February 10th (Monday), 2014|
A little more than a week after DD I slept with him (last night). The truth is I did it for myself. I wanted to be comforted and I made it all about me. I plan to do the same thing tonight and any other time I feel like it, until I don't feel like it.
Doesn't mean we are R. It's just what I want and that's what I'm focused on right now!
It somewhat feels like bonding. But it also feels frustrating because I really want to want him, but I don't necessarily actually want him. Hard to explain. Like I want IT, but not him.
His AP: 24, former family friend and babysitter
Married 11 1/2 yrs
D-Day: 2/1/2014 3 month PA, 24 months sexting
Posts: 43 | Registered: Feb 2014 | From: Washington
Member # 41951
| Posted: 7:11 PM, February 10th (Monday), 2014|
To my surprise, yes. But it' s only been 5 weeks. However, I did realize I wasn't the (un)sexual woman he thought I was. Had I had some emotional bonding and good communication he wouldn't have had to find some bitch in heat. I hope it keeps up. I feel robbed
" He paved paradise and put up a parking lot"
BS - me
married 26 years, together since kids
D- Day Jan 4 2014
PMA- starting this moment
R - in MC. WH is in IC
Posts: 142 | Registered: Jan 2014 | From: New York
♀ New Member
Member # 41473
| Posted: 10:02 PM, February 10th (Monday), 2014|
Yes, the night I found out. Very primal. The second night, I couldn't follow through and burst into tears. I don't know how long HB lasted, I think we've eased into "normal" now, the mind movies have stopped, lots of things have changed.
You may not realize it when it happens, but a kick in the teeth may be the best thing in the world for you. ~Walt Disney
We must embrace pain and burn it as fuel for our journey. ~Kenji Miyazawa
Posts: 25 | Registered: Nov 2013 | From: New England
Member # 38719
| Posted: 10:05 PM, February 10th (Monday), 2014|
Absolutely- on Dday of all days. It's still there, not as strong, but definately still going on, for me.
March 9, 2013- the day my heart died
Posts: 247 | Registered: Mar 2013 | From: Canada
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