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Just Found Out Post Reply     Print Topic    
User Topic: Survey: Who experienced hysterical bonding and who didn't?
gettingthere2013
♀ Member
Member # 38232
Default  Posted: 1:03 PM, February 10th (Monday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Not after either Dday. Our sex life had always been active and adventurous. Took one day after DD#1 before we had sex,two days after DD#2,then we were back to our 5-6 times a week. How long was it before we were making love and mind movies didn't interfere? Several months. I truly believe it was our intimate connection that has gotten us this far in R.


Me:BW(42)
Him:WH(40)
Kids: Seven...yes,you read that right,and yes-we do know what causes them :)
Dday#1 1/29/2013(ONS with coworker)
Dday#2 4/8/2013(6 month LD PA with coworker,over for six months at time of discovery)
Reconciling...in all our

Posts: 73 | Registered: Jan 2013 | From: South
cmego
♀ Member
Member # 30346
Default  Posted: 1:07 PM, February 10th (Monday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Yes. And my ex was having gay affairs, our LL came back with a vengeance until the 2nd DDay 6 months later. I walked out and never looked back.

People are always surprised when I tell them I really didn't know he was gay. But, he was sexually/emotionally attracted to me.


me...BS, 43 years old, 2 small kids
WS, 41, multiple gay affairs
M 15 years, together 17
Divorced

"For whatever we lose, like a you or a me, it's always ourselves we find in the sea" ee cummings


Posts: 4110 | Registered: Dec 2010 | From: South
mezmer
♀ Member
Member # 42406
Default  Posted: 1:42 PM, February 10th (Monday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

YES. I am still way deep in it. It is really good, though. Mind blowing. I could do him for week. My sex drive always was a lot more than his, though.

Me: BW, 47
Him: WH, 48
Married: 21 yrs.


Posts: 55 | Registered: Feb 2014 | From: Washington
cvs2kkids
♂ Member
Member # 41298
Default  Posted: 2:58 PM, February 10th (Monday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

No.

But we were separated before she knew I knew.

Have since R'd, but no HB.


Me: BH (43) Her WW 41

R'ing going,going..gone!!
Divorcing!

She no more will have that power over me. I can make, and will make, my own happiness. We we're a good team at one point, but I am great as an individual!!


Posts: 214 | Registered: Nov 2013 | From: NB Canada
Decimated
♂ Member
Member # 31656
Default  Posted: 3:29 PM, February 10th (Monday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

No, all physical intimacy stopped when I found out the truth and never really came back to normal.


Decimated
Me -BH 48
Her-WW 40
D Day #1 9/09 (found out about friendship, she promised NC...she lied)
D day #2 1/11 (found out EA on going...she lied)
D day #3 4/11 (found out EA was a PA...still lying)
M 16 years, 3 kids
Divorced - 1/13

Posts: 106 | Registered: Mar 2011
doggiediva
♀ Member
Member # 33806
Default  Posted: 4:56 PM, February 10th (Monday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Sex should never buy one's way back into a marriage..IMHO there are other needs that need to be met first..


Don't tie your happiness to the tail of somebody else's kite

Posts: 1169 | Registered: Nov 2011
StillLivin
♀ Member
Member # 40229
Default  Posted: 5:00 PM, February 10th (Monday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Nope, was disgusted that he climbed on top of and fornicated with a goat looking troll. He was going to have to EARN that platinum va jay jay back. Didn't happen, he fell off the wagon and gobbled up her ego kibbles.
Blehhhhh!


I don't need further confirmation of what a fuckwit he is. I already have plenty, thanks very much. -SBB
D: 7/2/2014

Posts: 2213 | Registered: Aug 2013 | From: AZ
Smokehouse
♂ Member
Member # 40203
Default  Posted: 5:10 PM, February 10th (Monday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Yes, lasted approximately one month, then DDay 2 hit. After that shock, about another 8 weeks. Now, it is still pretty strong but has tapered off. Still pretty sweet though!!!

Posts: 147 | Registered: Aug 2013 | From: Ohio
hobbeskat
♀ Member
Member # 38805
Default  Posted: 5:12 PM, February 10th (Monday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Yes, for about a month. I triggered the first time and asked questions. It's pretty much back to normal now I feel i can be physically affectionate again. We've always had a pretty great sex life, though. But the sex around the time of the A, it was clear he was angry at me for something.

[This message edited by hobbeskat at 5:18 PM, February 10th (Monday)]


Posts: 308 | Registered: Mar 2013
steadfast1973
♀ Member
Member # 24719
Default  Posted: 5:18 PM, February 10th (Monday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Yes. Still in dday2 HB. After dday1, it lasted about 6 months. It helped build back the intimacy he had used porn to squander away.


Me- 40- BS Him- 36- WH D-day#1 5/25/09 3 mo. EA d-day#2 11/06/13 Prostitute 11/5/13 in R
"I've seen your flag on the marble arch, our love is not a victory march, it's a cold and broken hallelujah."- Leonard Cohen

Posts: 2256 | Registered: Jul 2009 | From: Midwest
LAFA
♂ Member
Member # 31868
Default  Posted: 5:24 PM, February 10th (Monday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

No, didn't have the HB here. The impact of the EA on me was such that it took quite a while to recover interest.


When you put someone on a pedestal, they quickly learn two things. The view is mighty good from up there, and it is a fine vantage from which to kick.

Posts: 183 | Registered: Apr 2011 | From: Hawaii
Justgreatnews
♂ Member
Member # 41666
Default  Posted: 5:30 PM, February 10th (Monday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Yes. Just about 1 week, though.

Posts: 261 | Registered: Dec 2013 | From: United States
roses303
♀ Member
Member # 40161
Default  Posted: 5:30 PM, February 10th (Monday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

No.


Me: BW - 46
Him: WH - 49
MOW: my BFF from college and good friend for 25 yrs
Married 14 years, 2 Tweens
DD: 5/20/13 2 year long EA/PAs (one 7 yrs ago and one this past year)
Status: day by day, in MC, working on R

Posts: 141 | Registered: Aug 2013 | From: roses303
kernel
♀ Member
Member # 27035
Default  Posted: 5:32 PM, February 10th (Monday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

No. Hysteria of complete detachment? Yes - my hysteria at his detachment.


"On particularly rough days when I'm sure I can't possibly endure, I like to remind myself that my track record for getting through bad days so far is 100% - and that's pretty good."

Posts: 5043 | Registered: Jan 2010 | From: Midwest
self-rescuer
♀ Member
Member # 35059
Default  Posted: 5:44 PM, February 10th (Monday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Yes - dammit


BW 53
WXH 55
married 26 yrs
D-Day 9-15-11

Divorce final 3-13-13

Just trust yourself, then you will know how to live.
~ Goethe


Posts: 497 | Registered: Mar 2012 | From: the south
tonic0405
♀ New Member
Member # 41861
Default  Posted: 5:48 PM, February 10th (Monday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Yes. Very intense and very hysterical.


BS-me 44
WS-him 60
DDay 9/10/2013
Currently Divorced - living in same household and exploring the chances of a new start and new marriage. It is all on him.
Married 5yrs

Posts: 20 | Registered: Dec 2013
kellys2014
♀ New Member
Member # 42306
Default  Posted: 5:57 PM, February 10th (Monday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

A little more than a week after DD I slept with him (last night). The truth is I did it for myself. I wanted to be comforted and I made it all about me. I plan to do the same thing tonight and any other time I feel like it, until I don't feel like it.

Doesn't mean we are R. It's just what I want and that's what I'm focused on right now!

It somewhat feels like bonding. But it also feels frustrating because I really want to want him, but I don't necessarily actually want him. Hard to explain. Like I want IT, but not him.


Me: 36
WH: 44
DS: 7
DD: 5

His AP: 24, former family friend and babysitter

Married 11 1/2 yrs

D-Day: 2/1/2014 3 month PA, 24 months sexting


Posts: 43 | Registered: Feb 2014 | From: Washington
Mhiimg65
♀ Member
Member # 41951
Default  Posted: 7:11 PM, February 10th (Monday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

To my surprise, yes. But it' s only been 5 weeks. However, I did realize I wasn't the (un)sexual woman he thought I was. Had I had some emotional bonding and good communication he wouldn't have had to find some bitch in heat. I hope it keeps up. I feel robbed


" He paved paradise and put up a parking lot"
BS - me
WS- him
married 26 years, together since kids
D- Day Jan 4 2014
PMA- starting this moment
R - in MC. WH is in IC

Posts: 142 | Registered: Jan 2014 | From: New York
brokensoul75
♀ New Member
Member # 41473
Default  Posted: 10:02 PM, February 10th (Monday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Yes, the night I found out. Very primal. The second night, I couldn't follow through and burst into tears. I don't know how long HB lasted, I think we've eased into "normal" now, the mind movies have stopped, lots of things have changed.



You may not realize it when it happens, but a kick in the teeth may be the best thing in the world for you. ~Walt Disney

We must embrace pain and burn it as fuel for our journey. ~Kenji Miyazawa


Posts: 25 | Registered: Nov 2013 | From: New England
Girlietoo
♀ Member
Member # 38719
Default  Posted: 10:05 PM, February 10th (Monday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Absolutely- on Dday of all days. It's still there, not as strong, but definately still going on, for me.


Me- 40
Him- 47
March 9, 2013- the day my heart died

Posts: 245 | Registered: Mar 2013 | From: Canada
Topic Posts: 132
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