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Newest Member: SoLostStillNumb (44248)

Just Found Out Post Reply     Print Topic    
User Topic: Survey: Who experienced hysterical bonding and who didn't?
aero1122
♀ Member
Member # 41575
Default  Posted: 10:09 PM, February 10th (Monday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Yes and it is still going strong and amazing!


Me-35
WH-36
Together 18 years
Married 7 years
2 kids
D-day 12-7-13
Both currently in counseling
Trying to R

I am a warrior!
I will survive and thrive!


Posts: 98 | Registered: Dec 2013
lilmonkey
♀ New Member
Member # 41682
Default  Posted: 10:24 PM, February 10th (Monday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I did not experience HB in a physical manner at all. I couldn't even touch him without feeling ill, let alone engage in a sexual act with him.

We did experience a very emotional HB, however. I mean like, pouring our hearts out 24/7, clingy, wanting to see each other every day, cannot be separated kind of HB.


Posts: 44 | Registered: Dec 2013
Dreamland
♀ Member
Member # 40488
Default  Posted: 12:04 AM, February 11th (Tuesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Yes for a long time.. 8-10 months. It was great until ... I found out the truth
He had lied to me about the A. He said no sex was involved. I found out months months later though I suspected.
Makes me sick now almost if he touches me.
Now he's in liver failure and he can't have sex. But I realize I still want sex often and intimacy but I can't stand his touch. Takes a lot to put out the mind movies of them together. Ugh.


Me-BS 50 Him-WH 47, DD17
Together since 1993, Married 19 yrs
DDay 3/12,4/12,7/12 EA-PA OW - 25 single husband chasing bastard whore

Posts: 515 | Registered: Aug 2013
TiredFamilyGuy
♂ New Member
Member # 42411
Default  Posted: 12:37 AM, February 11th (Tuesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Yes, a few months. Multiple revelations - no PA though - put paid to that. Now we screw more than beforehand and I don't treat her like a china doll. But the trust is gone.

Posts: 4 | Registered: Feb 2014 | From: Europe
OnAnIsland
♀ Member
Member # 34319
Default  Posted: 1:19 AM, February 11th (Tuesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

yes


D-day: Christmas 2011
D-day 2: 3/28/2013

Married for over 15 years
2 beautiful boys in elementary school

You may not control all the events that happen to you, but you can decide not to be reduced by them. Maya Angelou


Posts: 1477 | Registered: Dec 2011
Katieisfree
♀ Member
Member # 22930
Default  Posted: 2:32 AM, February 11th (Tuesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Yes. A couple of months.


DD 6/6/08
Sep 5/8/08
R 16/12/08

Posts: 485 | Registered: Feb 2009 | From: Australia
Sadmumma
♀ Member
Member # 42192
Default  Posted: 2:38 AM, February 11th (Tuesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

About 6 months ago I found he'd been texting a female school friend in another state. hB after that (or maybe it was the pregnancy hormones).

Once I found out about OW and PA I never let him back in the house.(only to pick up his this things which were waiting in the hallway).


On any given day you have the power to say "my story is not going to end like this"
Me 41 BS
Him 41 WH
6 kids...7 weeks, 5,7,9,11&13
D day jan 29th 2014

Posts: 533 | Registered: Jan 2014 | From: Land down under
NeedingAdvice
♀ New Member
Member # 42409
Default  Posted: 6:23 AM, February 11th (Tuesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I'm all fairly new to this (both being a BS and to this forum) so this was the first I had ever heard of this phenomenon and it explains a lot!

My husband's drunken (he is a reformed alcoholic - sober four-and-a-half years) ONS that occurred over 10 years ago was only revealed to me four months ago. Guilt and the knowledge that there was a huge secret between us prompted him to come out with his confession.

I think the short answer to the question for me is YES! However, we had a fantastic sex life before D-Day and it resumed within a week and is definitely even better and more frequent than before.

It feels right and important as we attempt to move on the best we can from something that surprisingly seems to have had almost as big an impact on him as it has me.


Posts: 17 | Registered: Feb 2014 | From: Australia
Mikey56
♂ Member
Member # 38063
Default  Posted: 6:30 AM, February 11th (Tuesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Yes, a couple of months.

Posts: 113 | Registered: Jan 2013
movingforward13
♀ Member
Member # 38405
Default  Posted: 8:59 AM, February 11th (Tuesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Nope. I would not reward him for his betrayal.


Once a cheater, always a cheater happens when your cheater doesn't have remorse.
Regret is not remorse- know the difference!

Posts: 636 | Registered: Feb 2013 | From: DC
BAMAC
♂ Member
Member # 39334
Default  Posted: 9:03 AM, February 11th (Tuesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Nope.


DDays - 1/26/2013 | 3/23/14
Divorced 7/10/2014

Posts: 81 | Registered: May 2013 | From: TX
LostSamurai
♂ Member
Member # 41347
Default  Posted: 9:51 AM, February 11th (Tuesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

We did maybe a few weeks and then boom. GONE like the wind.


I am now nothing by a mere Ronin.

Posts: 1029 | Registered: Nov 2013 | From: Maryland
LearningToRun
♀ Member
Member # 31353
Default  Posted: 2:15 PM, February 11th (Tuesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Yes. for 18 MONTHS. We had "an agreement" that if circumstances changed and another party became involved we would be honest.

Guess what? he lied and was "accidentally" sleeping with both of us. That's when it ended.

he is engaged to her now, i seriously doubt she knows. Not my problem. She knew he was married when she became his shoulder to cry on.

I'm so glad it ended. It kept me stuck. My life improved once i truly let him and HB go.



Posts: 234 | Registered: Feb 2011
Katz13
♀ Member
Member # 41886
Default  Posted: 4:24 PM, February 11th (Tuesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Yes

Posts: 83 | Registered: Jan 2014 | From: USA
Katz13
♀ Member
Member # 41886
Default  Posted: 4:24 PM, February 11th (Tuesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Yes

Posts: 83 | Registered: Jan 2014 | From: USA
outside4me
♂ Member
Member # 42430
Default  Posted: 10:01 PM, February 11th (Tuesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Yes. She's not good at communication at all, but DDay has motivated her to try (even though there's still some deceit and trickle truthing with the A). I initiated a discussion about sexual needs, and she seemed much more comfortable and truthful with that. She said she needed affection to help her feel safe communicating about the A and her messed up emotional illiteracy. Although I think I'm going to separate, I figured I'd give it a shot. If there's any chance at R, then she's got a lot of work to do confronting the ugly truth of what she did and the work she needs to do to remain married to me. Communication is our only hope at R.

Confession: I have a STRONG sex drive, so some thinking was done with the other head too. I've asked for,encouraged, and received lots of eye contact during sex, in some pathetic attempt to ensure she's not fantasizing about AP during it. It does help to make it more intimate, and seems to work on connecting emotionally. That said, I still feel empty, betrayed, etc. Lots of things she needs to do to get me to R. Even if by some miracle she does, if I can't get back to how sex felt before DDay I'm out. EDIT: without some real growth emotionally and establishment of trust, I know I'll never feel the same way about her again.

[This message edited by outside4me at 10:06 PM, February 11th (Tuesday)]


Posts: 218 | Registered: Feb 2014 | From: Colorado
sadinlex
♀ Member
Member # 32047
Default  Posted: 10:12 PM, February 11th (Tuesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

oh yes!


me - BW him - WH
Together 23 years, Married 21
2 children 14, 11
Dday - 4/11/2011 double betrayal
"After the A, being honest and being a bitch are pretty hard to tell apart." - Ladyogilvy

Posts: 147 | Registered: May 2011
Gemini71
♀ Member
Member # 40115
Default  Posted: 11:24 PM, February 11th (Tuesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Nope. At first the mind movies made me cry at the thought of being intimate. Now I just get nauseous at the thought. But then, I never was into using public facilities.


Edited to correct stupid typos.

Two steps forward and one step backwards, is still progress.


Posts: 1532 | Registered: Jul 2013 | From: Illinois, USA
purplebreeze
♀ Member
Member # 31611
Default  Posted: 12:05 PM, February 12th (Wednesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

NO

I found that he had sent pictures of himself that we had taken in our bedroom for US! How he could share something so intimate between us turned me off big time. For the longest time, I couldn't even look at him in the bedroom. It took a long time for me to get past that. Even after 3 years, I really do not feel anything like desire for him.


me 64
WH 65
married 44 years
DD Jan 16 2011

Posts: 354 | Registered: Mar 2011
JLyn1128
♀ New Member
Member # 41915
Default  Posted: 2:37 PM, February 12th (Wednesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Yes. Completely. Until today's episode with his second betrayal.

Posts: 49 | Registered: Jan 2014 | From: CA
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