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Newest Member: lynnde (44729)

Just Found Out Post Reply     Print Topic    
User Topic: Not surprised to be here again
lilacs40
♀ Member
Member # 31314
Default  Posted: 1:49 PM, February 10th (Monday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

So here I am again. My second DDay was Saturday. Things haven't been good between us and I had hoped that with MC they could be saved. I just told him we needed to talk about going agin 3 days prior to me finding out. Apparently WH did/does not. I so wish I had done things differently the first time this happened. Either we would have already divorced or maybe it would have not happened again. I have learned though (while I have to own things that are mine that made my marriage crumble) that until WH figures out why he keeps having EA our marriage won't

He doesn't believe that IC will help him and I can't do this again. I can't believe my marriage is over. I miss him already and the kids and I haven't even moved out yet.


I wish I could just stop I know another moment will break my heart too many tears too many time too many years I've cried over you

Posts: 294 | Registered: Feb 2011 | From: IL
norabird
♀ Member
Member # 42092
Default  Posted: 1:51 PM, February 10th (Monday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I'm so sorry. In my case, the second DDay was painful but it also set me free. Despite the pain, I had clarity over who I had been trying to R with and understood it was all over.

I know you are still in shock but....there is a whole life ahead of you with better possibilities now that you are going to move on.

(((((hugs)))))


Sit. Feast on your life.

Posts: 4088 | Registered: Jan 2014 | From: NYC
Skan
♀ Member
Member # 35812
Default  Posted: 1:57 PM, February 10th (Monday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

(((hugs))) If he doesn't want to try to understand what the heck is wrong with him, then he leaves you little choice. I'm so sorry. Please remember that all of this heartbreak is due to HIS horrible decisions and choices.


Imagine a ship trying to set sail while towing an anchor. Cutting free is not a gift to the anchor. You must release that burden, not because the anchor is worthy, but because the ship is.

D-Day, June 10, 2012



Posts: 4727 | Registered: Jun 2012 | From: So California
kasp
New Member
Member # 42393
Default  Posted: 2:00 PM, February 10th (Monday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

My second dday was Thursday. My post topic was almost the same. Feeling like all the work we did over the last year has been complete bullshit. He's been in therapy for a year working on herself but obviously not on us. I'm totally bummed. Found it good to confide in a close friend which I haven't really done before and then tell a couple of my employees that I'm dealing with some issues as well. It freed me to be Ok to feel what I feel and when. Also called my counselor just to vent a little and hear a calming voice. Just keep talking. Don't try to keep it inside.


This Sucks!

Posts: 7 | Registered: Feb 2014
kasp
New Member
Member # 42393
Default  Posted: 2:01 PM, February 10th (Monday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Sorry. "She's" been in therapy for a year.


This Sucks!

Posts: 7 | Registered: Feb 2014
tushnurse
♀ Member
Member # 21101
Default  Posted: 2:18 PM, February 10th (Monday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

(((lilacs)))

It sucks that you are back, and that he is up to the same ole, same ole. But you at least now have your truth, and know that he is incapable of truly committing and doing the work that is required for R to be successful.

(((and strength)))


Me: FBS
Him: FWS
Kids: 15 & 17
Married for 22 years now, was 16 at the time. .
D-Day Sept 26 2008
Fully R'd, and Happy Happy Happy

Posts: 8229 | Registered: Oct 2008 | From: St. Louis
nowiknow23
♀ Guide
Member # 33226
Default  Posted: 3:47 PM, February 10th (Monday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

(((((lilacs))))) I'm so very sorry, honey.


You can call me NIK

"Sometimes it takes a good fall to know where you really stand."
-Hayley Williams


Posts: 25059 | Registered: Aug 2011
Topic Posts: 7

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