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Fun & Games Post Reply     Print Topic    
User Topic: Fun with teenagers
HFSSC
♀ Member
Member # 33338
Funny  Posted: 8:41 PM, February 10th (Monday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

You know all those times when your kid does something like announcing to the whole shower room that you have "hair on your pee pee" or peeing outside in full view of the whole world?

Well, there is all sorts of fun to be had when they become teenagers. <evil laughter>

Tonight, I started out by telling my guys the difference between "vagina" and "vulva". I told them that was useful information that may be important to them some day. (It's one of my pet peeves, especially at work, when health care professionals don't know the difference) DS15 started banging his head on the window of the van.

I said, "Aren't y'all glad I'm a nurse and can teach you important stuff like this?"

He muttered, "Yeah. We'll go with that." And pulled his hoodie up over his head.

Then I started telling inappropriate jokes. "What does an 80 year old woman have between her breasts that a 20 year old doesn't? Her belly button!"

Strangely, I haven't seen either one of them since we got home.


Me, 47
Him, 40 (JMSSC)
married 17 years. In R. We are making it. The past does not define who we are today.

Posts: 2787 | Registered: Sep 2011 | From: South Carolina
unfound
♀ Member
Member # 12802
Default  Posted: 8:57 PM, February 10th (Monday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

DS15 started banging his head on the window of the van.



ka-mai
*******************
From time to time, I do consider that I might be mad. Like any self-respecting lunatic, however, I am always quick to dismiss any doubts about my sanity. DK

Posts: 14861 | Registered: Nov 2006 | From: mercury's underboob
jrc1963
♀ Member
Member # 26531
Default  Posted: 8:59 PM, February 10th (Monday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

OMG!!! Too funny!!!


Me: BSO - 46
Him: FWSO - 69
DS - 13
D-Day - 12-11-09,
R - he finally came home
Your life is an Occasion. Rise to it. - Mr. Magorium, "Mr. Magorium's Wonder Emporium"

Posts: 24597 | Registered: Dec 2009 | From: Florida
Threnody
♀ Member
Member # 1558
Default  Posted: 9:08 PM, February 10th (Monday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage


“If you don't like my opinion of you, you can always improve.” ~ Ashleigh Brilliant
"Great love requires determination." ~ tryingtwo
"Don't try to win over the haters, you're not the jackass whisperer." ~ Brene Brown

Posts: 14040 | Registered: Jun 2003 | From: Middle-of-Diddly, TX
BAB61
♀ Member
Member # 41181
Default  Posted: 12:11 AM, February 11th (Tuesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

My oldest turned 17 today (well, I guess technically yesterday ... I just am up late) and her 14yo sister arranged a surprise sleepover with 2 of her friends. They were in the living room and I could hear them talking. They are all inexperienced aka virgins .. and yet, ... wait for it ... they were talking about blow jobs!!! It was all I could do not to go in and give them pointers! I am a child of the 60's .. and came of age during the time of 'free love' .... buahahaha


Boss A** B*tch
BS/52 Me, STBXpos/56, dd's 16&14
1st D-day 10/19/2013 EA/PA
2nd D-day 12/7/2013 LTA/Rendezvous
S 12/7/2013 No-fault state, 6 mo S, counting down the days.

Posts: 1271 | Registered: Oct 2013 | From: DE
Harriet
♀ Member
Member # 34543
Default  Posted: 12:52 AM, February 11th (Tuesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

What is the difference, HFSSC? I'll google it...I use sex ed as a way to get my kids to behave and I've told them everything I know so I need new material.
"No, you don't have to take out the garbage. We'll just chat about oral sex now."


D-Day Spring 2008
3 years false R
Divorce Final 6/7/12

Posts: 492 | Registered: Jan 2012 | From: California
authenticnow
♀ Moderator
Member # 16024
Default  Posted: 6:00 AM, February 11th (Tuesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I love messing with my kids. They aren't teenagers, they're early 20s, but it's still just so much fun!


Take up your space (and do it well).

"That's the thing about pain, it demands to be felt."


Posts: 38093 | Registered: Sep 2007
HFSSC
♀ Member
Member # 33338
Default  Posted: 7:09 AM, February 11th (Tuesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

AN, my mom still does it to me, so I gotta get mine somewhere.

FYI, if anyone doesn't know this, the vagina is the internal passageway that connects the uterus to the outside, so to speak. The vulva is the external genitalia (ie, what you can see). So when I come to work and see a note that someone's "vagina is swollen" I decide that nurse is ignorant or else very industrious to hunt down a speculum and look inside.


Me, 47
Him, 40 (JMSSC)
married 17 years. In R. We are making it. The past does not define who we are today.

Posts: 2787 | Registered: Sep 2011 | From: South Carolina
authenticnow
♀ Moderator
Member # 16024
Default  Posted: 7:31 AM, February 11th (Tuesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Our headboard has slats and one of them got detached at the bottom through the years. When we were moving, DD noticed and said, "Mom, look, your bed is broken!" and I looked at LD and said, "That was some night, wasn't it?" with a smirk. He replied, "Yeah, baby!" DD yelled, "Ewwwww, mommmmmm, you guys are gross!!!!!!!!"


Take up your space (and do it well).

"That's the thing about pain, it demands to be felt."


Posts: 38093 | Registered: Sep 2007
ISPIFFD
♀ Member
Member # 26367
Default  Posted: 8:51 AM, February 11th (Tuesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Strangely, I haven't seen either one of them since we got home


Me: BW (55)
Him: WH (62)
7/14/11 - Divorced

Posts: 1874 | Registered: Nov 2009 | From: another world
nowiknow23
♀ Guide
Member # 33226
Default  Posted: 9:28 AM, February 11th (Tuesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

"Ewwwww, mommmmmm, you guys are gross!!!!!!!!"


You can call me NIK

"If you carry joy in your heart, you can heal any moment."
- Carlos Santana


Posts: 25777 | Registered: Aug 2011
simplydevastated
♀ Member
Member # 25001
Default  Posted: 11:10 AM, February 11th (Tuesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

This thread is priceless.


Me - BS, 39 (I'm not old...I'm vintage)
Two Wonderful children - DS10, DD7
Married, for now... (4+ D-Day - listed in profile.)

Posts: 5854 | Registered: Jul 2009 | From: In the darkest depths of hell!
SoVerySadNow
♀ Member
Member # 36711
Default  Posted: 11:12 AM, February 11th (Tuesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Mmmmuuhhhaaaaaha!


Me:BW
Him:WH
D-day(s),after years of TT and Gaslighting was Labor Day Weekend 2012, continuing for a week after. *Dammit! More TT 3/9/13
Really trending toward D- planning about it is my "happy place" now.

Posts: 1292 | Registered: Sep 2012 | From: Sunny Florida
MissesJai
♀ Member
Member # 24849
Default  Posted: 11:26 AM, February 11th (Tuesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Love it


FWW - 41
"Don't think first about the risks of speaking up. Think first about the risks of not speaking up." ~ Kerry Patterson

Posts: 5980 | Registered: Jul 2009 | From: So Cal.....
Williesmom
♀ Member
Member # 22870
Default  Posted: 11:32 AM, February 11th (Tuesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

It works with brothers also. My mom and brother are nurses. He was at mom's house when I called with a medical question. He said "what is it? I can help you."

So, I started graphically describing my "girl problem". He could not get the phone to mom fast enough.

I actually had a cold, but couldn't resist messing with him.


You can stuff your sorries in a sack, mister. -George Costanza
There is a special place in hell for women who don't help other women. - Madeleine Albright

Posts: 7773 | Registered: Feb 2009 | From: Western PA
simplydevastated
♀ Member
Member # 25001
Default  Posted: 11:34 AM, February 11th (Tuesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

So, I started graphically describing my "girl problem". He could not get the phone to mom fast enough.


Me - BS, 39 (I'm not old...I'm vintage)
Two Wonderful children - DS10, DD7
Married, for now... (4+ D-Day - listed in profile.)

Posts: 5854 | Registered: Jul 2009 | From: In the darkest depths of hell!
Aubrie
♀ Member
Member # 33886
Default  Posted: 11:51 AM, February 11th (Tuesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Few years ago my brother needed a condom for a school project. My prude mother asked me to buy them. She was too embarrassed, and she refused to let my brother go buy them.

I waltzed my unashamed self up to the front desk at the Health Department and asked for one of those brown paper bags. Went marching back to Mother's house and yelled thru the house, "Oh Brotherrrrrrr, I have something for youuuuuuuu." He trudged into the kitchen, head down, avoiding eye contact, grabbed the bag out of my hand, and kept walking.

Couple hours later I got a text, "Why did you get a whole bag!? I only needed one! What am I supposed to do with the rest?"

Do you really need me to tell you?

I didn't hear another word from him.


Me - FWW * Him - QuietStand

"Courage is being scared to death and saddling up anyway." - J. Wayne


Posts: 6317 | Registered: Nov 2011 | From: South, Y'all!
Tred
♂ Member
Member # 34086
Default  Posted: 12:16 PM, February 11th (Tuesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

What am I supposed to do with the rest?

Two words: Balloon animals.


Married: 17 years (14 @JFO)
D-Day: 11/09/11
"Ohhhhh...shut up Tred!" - NOT the official SI motto (DS)

Posts: 4006 | Registered: Dec 2011
itainteasy
♀ Member
Member # 31094
Default  Posted: 12:16 PM, February 11th (Tuesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

My mom and stepdad like to talk about sex in front of me.

It embarassed me at 16.

And now at 37, I ask my mother if she'd like "pointers".

It shuts them up.


Posts: 3419 | Registered: Feb 2011 | From: NWPA
lordhasaplan?
♂ Member
Member # 30079
Default  Posted: 12:21 PM, February 11th (Tuesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Two words: Balloon animals.

Tred, the only one I can pull off is a Snake.

Wish I could pull this one off, not the condom of course....


D-day: 5/18/10, lies and TT till (11/26/10).
No life should be passively relinquished due to the toxicity of others and taking steps to protect yourself may very well be the most important steps you will ever take.

Posts: 1909 | Registered: Nov 2010
Topic Posts: 32
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