That leaves me asking if there's more she's not telling me because she hasn't been caught.
I know that there are things FWW has not told me, and I suspect a few more things that may be true. I got TT for 6-7 months. Then after pushing from me and the IC/MC she gave me a 4 page timeline that greatly expanded the depth and scope of her As. This timeline had a lot of new information, things I would never have guessed to ask, and things I would not/could not have found out on my own. Still, I know that it was not complete. In some ways it could never be complete, because FWW had led her whole life flirting with men to get attention and affirmation. There is no way she would remember all the inappropriate statements, flirting, and touching. Other things I know would push her over the edge in shame, and I believe that she is in denial.
What I decided was that I knew enough. My wife had sought and received emotional and physical comfort from other men. She contracted a STD. She lost a job. While I am sure there is more, it really does not change my situation much. So what if there was a 5th or 6th OM? So what if the EA really included PA, does one or two more blowjobs make a difference? I now look at it as that was then and this is now. I look to see if she is keeping me and our M safe now.
I used to say that if I found out anything significant that she had not disclosed I would immediately D on principle. I no longer feel this way. That was then and this is now. FWW is working to fix her issues, she has done what she needed to do since the day after dday for me to feel safe in our relationship while I worked on acceptance and healing.
I found nothing in her timeline and other answers that made it all make sense. I get that years later she does not remember every time she gave someone a blowjob or how many times she had sex on a specific night, or even how many times she met at his office versus his house, versus a hotelů That was then and this is now.
There was some real anger and harsh words from FWW during the first months after dday, but at a year out she was owning her crap and seeking IC to address her issues. It may help that I had moved out at about a year our after a boundary violation. Her working on her issues was a requirement of my moving back in.
It took time, I often complained FWW was a day late and a dollar short on the R stuff and owning her A-crap, but she didů. Eventually. It was slow progress, but it was almost always progress. There are still back-sliding events, but even with these her recovery from them is much faster and self-motivated.