“The foundation of our course is based on correcting a misconception: that to make a marriage work, you have to find the right person. The fact is, you have to be the right person.”
THIS. Oh my God. It's sad, because you can't teach it, and I assumed it was a given that it would be true on both sides. Here is what all the 'you can't fix broken' advice comes from. Here is the sad part about being in love with someone who turns out to not understand themselves--because there's nothing you can do for them to change that.
I also think all the 'love' I had overlooked dissimilarities in values because hey, love mattered more than those differences...but the differences were that he was less empathetic, less interested in other people, more focused on power, basically not attuned to/caring about others, which in the end had a whole heckuvalot to do with how he was able to treat me so badly.
Lots of 'ding ding ding' reading this for me. Thanks for sharing.