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User Topic: Not sure what I'm feeling today
Chefj9
♀ Member
Member # 38604
Default  Posted: 10:17 AM, February 12th (Wednesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

One year ago today, was the last time my H saw OW and had sex. It was their last time because he was leaving the city his project was based in and not returning. I am triggering big time, and at the same time, I'm relishing a little in the fact that she's probably remembering too and miserable today.

I'm trying to look at this day as the beginning of the end, it took 5 more months for her to really be gone, but I can at least mark this as one year since they physically saw each other. He came home to me the next day and has never returned to her city.

I don't know if I'm sad, mad, relieved.... or all of the above. Ny heart is pounding and I feel like an anxious ball of yuck . I hate this, really really hate this.


ME - BS 49, Him - WS 46 trying to "R"
4 DD's - blended 25, 15, 15 and 12
Multi DDays the grand finale 5/13/2013
From here on out, I am only interested in what is real. Real people, real feelings, that's it, that's all I'm intere

Posts: 470 | Registered: Mar 2013 | From: Texas
karmahappens
♀ Member
Member # 35846
Default  Posted: 10:35 AM, February 12th (Wednesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

All these firsts can be so hard. The memories that flood back in. The where we were, where we are....I so understand.

There is no way to just skip over these days, so you really just have to go through them.

Respect the pain they bring, feel it, work through it and proceed...it's all you can do. Remember to listen to your needs. Do as much or as little as you want/need to.

And remember as hard as each day is, the next one can only get easier.

(((hugs))) and strength.


“And the day came when the risk to remain tight in a bud was more painful than the risk it took to blossom”
Anaïs Nin
Me: 45
Him: 47
Dday 8/2007
We have R'd

Posts: 3793 | Registered: Jun 2012 | From: Massachusetts
strongerdaybyday
♀ Member
Member # 40264
Default  Posted: 10:59 AM, February 12th (Wednesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I'm about to hit the year mark of when she first contacted H. It's hard. He says, I only love you. But, he said that last year too. How to believe anything he says feels impossible. But from some great advice on SI - it's all normal and the pain will dull and then slowly fade. We may never forget but normalcy will return.


Me-BW Him - WH
Married 6 years, together 13+ years
D-Day Summer 2013
children-3
If it is what it is then what is it?

**If I edit I'm correcting a typo!**


Posts: 380 | Registered: Aug 2013
simplydevastated
♀ Member
Member # 25001
Default  Posted: 11:00 AM, February 12th (Wednesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

(((HUGS)))


Me - BS, 39 (I'm not old...I'm vintage)
Two Wonderful children - DS10, DD7
Married, for now... (4+ D-Day - listed in profile.)

Posts: 5854 | Registered: Jul 2009 | From: In the darkest depths of hell!
norabird
♀ Member
Member # 42092
Default  Posted: 11:48 AM, February 12th (Wednesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

You are right to hate it! Be kind to yourself today. Do something nice just for you if you can. Big hugs.


Sit. Feast on your life.

Posts: 4089 | Registered: Jan 2014 | From: NYC
Chefj9
♀ Member
Member # 38604
Default  Posted: 12:30 PM, February 12th (Wednesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Thank you all for the support. As always I can count on my fellow SI'rs to help me through. Brings tears truthfully to find comfort here and know I'm not alone.


ME - BS 49, Him - WS 46 trying to "R"
4 DD's - blended 25, 15, 15 and 12
Multi DDays the grand finale 5/13/2013
From here on out, I am only interested in what is real. Real people, real feelings, that's it, that's all I'm intere

Posts: 470 | Registered: Mar 2013 | From: Texas
Topic Posts: 6

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