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User Topic: The Golden Manual
scaredyKat
♀ Member
Member # 25560
Default  Posted: 1:25 PM, April 26th (Saturday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

"I had sex with her because she expected it."


Me-BS-60-Can't tell you how painful it was to change this number!
HIM-SAFWH-63
Damn autocorrect is responsible for the silly errors, sorry!

Posts: 3256 | Registered: Sep 2009 | From: In my head
Mhiimg65
♀ Member
Member # 41951
Default  Posted: 9:26 PM, April 26th (Saturday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

HIM: ' I never slept with her"
ME: " So you just F**cked her'
HIM: Silence...............................................................................................................................(sleeping in the guest room).


" He paved paradise and put up a parking lot"
BS - me
WS- him
married 26 years, together since kids
D- Day Jan 4 2014
PMA- starting this moment
R - in MC. WH is in IC

Posts: 137 | Registered: Jan 2014 | From: New York
Mhiimg65
♀ Member
Member # 41951
Default  Posted: 9:42 PM, April 26th (Saturday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Better yet... She only liked getting f**cked. I like what you and I do...

"So why did you do what you did?"

You weren't there..

" Oh right, I was taking care of my dying mother."

Yeah, you left me to my own..I had to find someone...

"So you found a hole instead of your wife, who needed someone at the time to help her through the family issues she was dealing with."

Yeah.. I guess I have a problem.(Sleeping in the guest room after his BS has been there for 4 months on and off)


" He paved paradise and put up a parking lot"
BS - me
WS- him
married 26 years, together since kids
D- Day Jan 4 2014
PMA- starting this moment
R - in MC. WH is in IC

Posts: 137 | Registered: Jan 2014 | From: New York
kayaker55
♀ Member
Member # 41617
Default  Posted: 10:13 PM, April 26th (Saturday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Love this thread.
How about WH 'but she really likes you, she has never said anything bad about you.'
Or
WH 'I wanted to see what it was like to be with someone like that.' (MOW #1 was a high powered exec like WH. I was a SAHM.)
Or
WH 'she was available'. (OW#2 was a secretary.)

Sheesh.


Me: BS 56
He: SAFWH 56
Married 34 years
SA behavior + 2 affairs. I was clueless.
Future uncertain.

Posts: 63 | Registered: Dec 2013 | From: Vancouver, BC
Crushed1
♀ Member
Member # 6449
Default  Posted: 11:36 PM, April 26th (Saturday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Chapter 1 - Self-Entitlement (this is where it all starts!)

"All the guys at work told me I was entitled to fuck around if I wanted to, because I work".

I've heard some other stupid stuff but that line really took the cake!!!! I just stared at him and said "well, I guess no one told me about that because I was working TWO jobs and never thought it entitled me to anything but a paycheck!!!

IDIOT!!!!!!!!

"You were always mad at me" yeah, because you were hanging out at mow and her hubby's house several days a week, leaving me to do everything at home because you were drunk and high when you came in!!!

"I thought you didn't love me anymore" Yeah, and the dog ate your homework...


~~"You can't run away from yourself"!!! Me to my H when he descended into adultery insanity.
~~Prov.15:13 "By sorrow of the heart the spirit is broken"
~~"The day breaks-your mind aches"
~STRENGTH~PEACE~HOPE~FAITH

Posts: 9649 | Registered: Feb 2005 | From: Texas
marchmadness
♀ Member
Member # 6475
Default  Posted: 8:36 AM, April 28th (Monday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Reading through these reminded me of the "Midlife for Dummies" article that I read years ago...might have read it here. Thought it was funny and extremely accurate.

http://nashlinks.com/midlife.htm


You get to sleep in the bed you make...be careful what goes on between the sheets.

Posts: 407 | Registered: Feb 2005 | From: pa
jjct
♂ Member
Member # 17484
Default  Posted: 8:55 AM, April 28th (Monday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I'm posting bc I saw "marchmadness", and now I have a new word!
Monstrification (of your spouse)

Peeps, can we not include
"How I grabbed my neck at my anus, heard a popping sound, and Reconciled"
?
I think it's the last chapter of the 'manual'.


Posts: 6421 | Registered: Dec 2007 | From: texas
veronique12
♀ Member
Member # 42185
Default  Posted: 10:25 AM, April 28th (Monday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

jjct, too funny!!

kayaker, oh yeah I got that one too: OW feels nothing but empathy for you. I still get a lot of laughs out of that one.

Some other gems from the vault:

I wouldn't have slept with her if I didn't feel a deep connection. (yeah there was a deep connection going on but that involved your d*ck)

I don't remember.

I went over to her house to end things. I didn't plan on having sex with her.

We have so much in common. (yeah, you're both asshats)

To add to the TT chapter, which could be titled: So You've Been Busted--Denying, Minimizing, and Deflecting for Self-Preservation
"When encountering a full-frontal assault from a BS, it's important to assess immediately what s/he knows vs. suspects so as to better contain complete exposure of truth. The first step in this discernment process is to deny all accusations, even if they are statements of fact...."

Oh yeah, I could have fun writing that chapter.

I think this book would sell, seriously.

[This message edited by veronique12 at 11:44 AM, April 28th (Monday)]


BW: me (38)
WH: 43
OW: false "friend"
D-Day: 11/29/13 (4 month EA discovered); 12/19/13 (discovered was also PA); TT thru 2/14
Married: 2001; Together for nearly 20 years
2 beautiful young kids

Posts: 389 | Registered: Jan 2014
FightingBack
♀ Member
Member # 34770
Default  Posted: 11:18 AM, April 28th (Monday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Chapter 29: Innocent Beginnings

"It all started so innocently. We talked a lot, then began to continue these conversations over drinks."

- 'But you never told me you were spending time with her drinking'

"Well no, because I knew you wouldn't be too pleased about that."

-


Me 53
WH 58
Married 25 years
4 children S30,D24, S23,S21
D-Day Nov. 29, 2011
15 year affair with married employee.
Together trying to make sense of it all!

Posts: 719 | Registered: Feb 2012
Karmita
♀ Member
Member # 40183
Default  Posted: 12:07 PM, April 28th (Monday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage


There should be a chapter on cheater texting.

Texts that are brief and yet say so much.

Examples:

I'm sitting on the toilet and thinking of you.

I know you would appreciate me putting away the dishes, and then suck my dick.
My wife is a bitch.

She doesn't appreciate me like you do. She resents my shit streaked underwear. I know you'd be happy to wash them for me.


Posts: 61 | Registered: Aug 2013
hardtimesinlife
♀ Member
Member # 10468
Default  Posted: 6:37 PM, April 28th (Monday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

In the separation chapter:
I was planning to reconcile with you but you ruined that by telling the OBS. Now I just don't think I can.

In the false R chapter:
I told you I'm never going to do that again! Why don't you believe me?

I've been good for 12 weeks and I've kissed your ass. I'm tired of being a pushover.


Ddays 2004 & 2007
I cut my losses mid 2013
Feeling happier every day :)

Posts: 6060 | Registered: Apr 2006 | From: Florida
burnedcanuckEMS
♀ Member
Member # 35813
Default  Posted: 9:11 PM, April 28th (Monday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

How about "I wouldn't have had to look elsewhere if you really loved me" (this after I put up with supporting his alcoholic/drug addict/NPD ass for almost 12 years).....

Then that statement followed shortly after with "there is no other woman..... 'she' is just a friend".....

Followed by investigator me staking out our fifth wheel that he was now living in at 2:00 am and seeing the "just a friend's" truck parked outside, next to his, all lights off and everyone cozy in bed... no other RV's in the RV park at all....

just thinking back the fury is bubbling up to my top once again and its been almost two years!!!


Me: BW 38, Him: WH 37
M: 07/07/07
DDay: 06/09/12
Divorce Granted on December 5, 2012 - fasted divorce ever (thanks to my good lawyer) and I am not looking back with ANY regrets!!

"And this above all else, to thine own self be true"


Posts: 229 | Registered: Jun 2012 | From: Alberta
movingforward13
♀ Member
Member # 38405
Default  Posted: 12:11 PM, June 2nd (Monday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I am starting to think we should compose this manual and publish it--- REALLY!


Once a cheater, always a cheater happens when your cheater doesn't have remorse.
Regret is not remorse- know the difference!

Posts: 635 | Registered: Feb 2013 | From: DC
Imissmyhusb
♀ Member
Member # 42734
Default  Posted: 8:00 PM, June 2nd (Monday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

And once the book is on the top of the best seller list for several weeks, the spinoff tv show 'remorse court' will begin to air with former waywards (the ones who hav defoggd and hav a clue) as judge and jury.

This is a great thread


Met '95 - dated '97 - married '03 - dday '13
3 kids 7y and 4y twins, me - sahm since '07, him - idk him any more
~~~~~~~~~
Just when the caterpillar thought the world was over, it became a butterfly.

Posts: 195 | Registered: Mar 2014
stunnedmullet
♀ Member
Member # 42975
Default  Posted: 8:48 PM, June 2nd (Monday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I never stopped loving you! yeah so much so that you were off having sex with someone else and declaring your love for them

I thought I told you we spent the night together? Well she left early hours of the morning so it wasn't technically the whole night?

I didn't think you would care!

I didn't think it would be a problem taking her to my work Christmas party - no one would think anything of it as she was our friend?

and don't forget the chapter on how to delete every skerrit of information you shared with her and all the texts, pictures, etc so that your wife never has a chance to see just how bad it was.

I didn't tell you because I thought you would leave me that it was more than an EA/just a kiss/only had sex once/spent a night together (yeah somehow I think it was more than that but he will never tell me now!)? Seriously WTF

Disgusting


DD April Fools Day 2014 (unfortunately no joke)

BS (me) 40
WH 38
OW - a friend of WH for 5 years

4 month EA which turned into a 5 month PA

Us together 20 years, married 17 and 6 kids

I always thought I was enough but obviously not!


Posts: 134 | Registered: Apr 2014 | From: Australia
LivinginLimbo
♀ Member
Member # 35004
Default  Posted: 7:35 AM, June 3rd (Tuesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

ME: Did you ever stay overnight with her?
FWH: I never spent the night with MOW.
ME: Really? She blogged about it when it happened.
FWH: Well, yeah, I guess technically I did but I left really early so it didn't seem like it was overnight.


BS - 62
FWH - 60
Married 34 years
D-Day 2/12/12
Doing well with R

Posts: 994 | Registered: Mar 2012
Scubadoo
♀ Member
Member # 43079
Default  Posted: 8:48 AM, June 3rd (Tuesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

My favorite "it was a bad mistake". Mistake??? Did you forget a comma in a text to her, that my dear is a mistake. Putting your d!,k in her and telling her you love her is a conscience decision.


BS (me) 42
WS (him) 48
OW (downgrade) 48
Married 11 yrs
DS 9
DD 8
D-day 10/27/13
8mth

Posts: 83 | Registered: Apr 2014
sunsetslost
♂ Member
Member # 39885
Default  Posted: 8:53 AM, June 3rd (Tuesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Chapter title:

" Will you go with me to family functions and smile and pretend everything is ok cause I don't have the courage to tell my family and I don't feel like explaining why you aren't there?"

Hmmmm. A little wordy I fear.......


Divorced 7/11/14. New Beginning on the Gulf of Mexico. It's real nice.

Posts: 682 | Registered: Jul 2013 | From: The beach.
william
Member
Member # 41986
Default  Posted: 9:09 AM, June 3rd (Tuesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

deleted my post

[This message edited by william at 9:14 AM, June 3rd (Tuesday)]


me - bh
her - lara01

from 09/11 - 05/13
2 ONS, 10 sexting partners, 1 LT EA/PA

??/06/13 DD/1 - admits to LT EA, begin false R.
01/13/14 DD/2 - LTA was PA.
01/18/14 DD/3 - sexting 5 guys.
01/19/14 DD/4 - 2 ONS with different guys


Posts: 471 | Registered: Jan 2014
freeatlast72
♀ Member
Member # 42758
Default  Posted: 10:19 AM, June 3rd (Tuesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Let's not forget--"We just get each other"

"She is just easy and doesn't worry about much"- yeah I bet!!

Jerk!


BS:41 (me)
WH: 41
Kids: DD6
DDay: 12/31/2013
Married 15 years
Separated as of 01/16/2014,now divorcing...WH did not want to reconcile.

You can't rationalize irrational behavior.


Posts: 135 | Registered: Mar 2014 | From: North Carolina
Topic Posts: 144
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