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User Topic: The Golden Manual
Allornothing
♀ Member
Member # 42354
Default  Posted: 3:50 PM, February 12th (Wednesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

And don't forget the chapter on "You're making it sound worse than it is!"


Me- BS 42
Him- FWH 42
Married 19 years, Together 25
Kids- 23,21,15,14
D Day- 7 Sept 2013
OW- Irrelevant

Posts: 162 | Registered: Feb 2014 | From: Australia
tearingaway
♂ Member
Member # 28618
Default  Posted: 4:07 PM, February 12th (Wednesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

There's the "He's just a friend/co-worker" chapter that must be included, too.

One mustn't forget the "I don't know/I can't remember" section to help BSs decipher what that really means.


Posts: 278 | Registered: May 2010
SurelyNOT
♀ Member
Member # 40617
Default  Posted: 5:53 PM, February 12th (Wednesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Every one of these comments resonates with me too. He's been telling people we were never married, we didn't live together, we were separated for years. I was told I had checked out on him years ago ???? Yeah, that's exactly why I was planning a family vacation with his input at the time of the discovery.
I love how they re-write history to suit themselves

Posts: 95 | Registered: Sep 2013
outtanowhere
♀ Member
Member # 39001
Default  Posted: 6:00 PM, February 12th (Wednesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

How about the "it was just sex" line?


BS - 57
SAWH - 60 multiple encounters with prostitutes and other sex workers
Married 37 years
Dday - 2/19/13 - found the emails
He promised me Heaven then put me thru hell

Posts: 657 | Registered: Apr 2013
tryingagain74
♀ Member
Member # 33698
Default  Posted: 6:05 PM, February 12th (Wednesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

If we could include a few paragraphs on "my needs weren't being met" in the Justifications They Blow Out Their Arseholes chapter, I would be happy to write them since I have excellent first-hand experience of that particular cheaters' phenomenon.


BS (Me) 39
Happily liberated!
Two DS and One DD
It matters not how strait the gate,/How charged with punishments the scroll./I am the master of my fate:/I am the captain of my soul.--"Invictus," William Ernest Henley

Posts: 3539 | Registered: Oct 2011
Stillheart
♂ New Member
Member # 27322
Default  Posted: 6:31 PM, February 12th (Wednesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

How about "I felt like you didn't seem to care." " I felt a disconnection between us" I felt like I lost my sexuality." I never stopped loving you." I, I, I ,I ,I.


Me:62 BH
Her:53 WW
Married: 26yrs
8 month affair
D-Day 11-10-08
Two Daughter: 18 & 22
In R and doing well

Posts: 26 | Registered: Jan 2010 | From: Oregon
Skan
♀ Member
Member # 35812
Default  Posted: 7:19 PM, February 12th (Wednesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I'll help with the chapter entitled "The Duality of *I Never Thought You Would Find Out* and *I Knew It Would Devastate You If You Found Out*"

Followed by "Shifty Semantics: How To Conveniently Ignore Intent In Favor Of A Word-By-Word Analysis" Emphasis on Anal.


Imagine a ship trying to set sail while towing an anchor. Cutting free is not a gift to the anchor. You must release that burden, not because the anchor is worthy, but because the ship is.

D-Day, June 10, 2012



Posts: 4586 | Registered: Jun 2012 | From: So California
Ascendant
♂ Member
Member # 38303
Default  Posted: 7:26 PM, February 12th (Wednesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

"You guys have a lot in common, you'd actually really get along if not for this mess..."

or

"Well, he was my friend just as long as he was your friend."


"The thing that always seems to be shocking to wayward wives is the simple fact that the man you choose to reconcile with is not the same man you cheated on." - a friend.

Posts: 1958 | Registered: Jan 2013 | From: Illinois
stilluvhim
♀ Member
Member # 21477
Default  Posted: 7:37 PM, February 12th (Wednesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

"I didn't think it was wrong, or that it would hurt you if you didn't know about it"


BS-me 47 yrs, WS-him 47 yrs
married 27 yrs.
3 gorgeous girls-24,20, 16 yrs.
PA with 30 yr. old
DD #1 Aug. 26, 2007, DD #2 Sept. 14, 2007, DD #3 Dec. 27, 2007, DD #4 Jan. 28, 2008

Posts: 603 | Registered: Oct 2008 | From: los angeles
gonnabe2016
♀ Member
Member # 34823
Default  Posted: 7:49 PM, February 12th (Wednesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

"I've told you everything. You know everything now, I swear."


"Oh, what a tangled web we weave when first we practice to deceive." - Sir Walter Scott

In my effort to be *concise*, I often come off as blunt and harsh. Sorry, don't mean to be offensive.


Posts: 7706 | Registered: Feb 2012 | From: Midwest
SoVerySadNow
♀ Member
Member # 36711
Default  Posted: 7:50 PM, February 12th (Wednesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

"You're overreacting"
"I think you two could be friends- you'd like her"

And the classic: "We're just friends"


Me:BW
Him:WH
D-day(s),after years of TT and Gaslighting was Labor Day Weekend 2012, continuing for a week after. *Dammit! More TT 3/9/13
Really trending toward D- planning about it is my "happy place" now.

Posts: 1280 | Registered: Sep 2012 | From: Sunny Florida
Ascendant
♂ Member
Member # 38303
Default  Posted: 7:53 PM, February 12th (Wednesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

"I've told you everything. You know everything now, I swear."
This will be tricky. What we have to do is insert a blank page with just this quote every 3 chapters of so. And then on the next page it says "Oh, well, there's some stuff I forgot about. Why are you making this a big deal?"

Followed by 3 more chapters of info.


"The thing that always seems to be shocking to wayward wives is the simple fact that the man you choose to reconcile with is not the same man you cheated on." - a friend.

Posts: 1958 | Registered: Jan 2013 | From: Illinois
Lyonesse
♀ Member
Member # 32943
Default  Posted: 7:55 PM, February 12th (Wednesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

We're just friends! < oh, yesss...

I could contribute to the sections on "I Never Meant To..." and "You Make Me Feel Bad When You Bring Up the A."


Me: BS, 40's.

Posts: 1786 | Registered: Jul 2011 | From: West Coast
Ascendant
♂ Member
Member # 38303
Default  Posted: 7:57 PM, February 12th (Wednesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

"I feel like you're always mad at me!"


"The thing that always seems to be shocking to wayward wives is the simple fact that the man you choose to reconcile with is not the same man you cheated on." - a friend.

Posts: 1958 | Registered: Jan 2013 | From: Illinois
rosie79
♀ New Member
Member # 41454
Default  Posted: 8:09 PM, February 12th (Wednesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

My absolute favorites are "I wasn't happy for a long time," and "I can't help that she fell in love with me!" Disgusting douchebag!!


BW - me
WH - liar
2 kids
D-day-10/9/13

Married 10 years, together for 14
Trying to get the strength to do what is right for me and my kids.


Posts: 37 | Registered: Nov 2013 | From: somewhere
Raven96
♀ Member
Member # 40298
Default  Posted: 8:18 PM, February 12th (Wednesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

"You just don't think about the consequences."


Marriage isn't a test, so why cheat?

Posts: 379 | Registered: Aug 2013
mchercheur
♀ Member
Member # 37735
Default  Posted: 8:23 PM, February 12th (Wednesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I tried to start it here:

http://www.survivinginfidelity.com/forums.asp?tid=488585


together 25 yrs, married 24 yrs, 4 children;Rebuilding
D Day: 5/10/2011 PA
OW: WH's co-worker,divorced, no children, 20 yrs younger than I-----& she knew he was married, had met our kids, but that did not stop her from trying to destroy our family

Posts: 1337 | Registered: Dec 2012
naivewife
♀ Member
Member # 38375
Default  Posted: 9:19 PM, February 12th (Wednesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

And because everyone likes a happy ending - "You win, I choose you."


D-day #1 - 1/23/13
false R, then...
D-day #2 - 3/26/13
I will come for the benefit of the sick, remaining free of all intentional injustice, of all mischief and in particular of sexual relations with both female and male persons. - Hippocratic Oath

Posts: 341 | Registered: Feb 2013
honesttoafault
♀ Member
Member # 27105
Default  Posted: 10:17 PM, February 12th (Wednesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Chapter on deflecting: How to start a fight with the BS by saying/doing something hurtful and then when the BS replies pull "You are ruining our relationship with this fighting and accusations!!"

You are spying on me!
You don't trust me!


Posts: 1938 | Registered: Jan 2010
CantLoseHope
♀ Member
Member # 42356
Default  Posted: 10:23 PM, February 12th (Wednesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

You all are forgetting the most important chapter......

-I just told my BS of my A, and I'M the one in the bathroom wasted on the floor puking, go figure?-


"A tree falls the way it leans.....be careful which way you lean"


Posts: 172 | Registered: Feb 2014
Topic Posts: 144
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