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User Topic: The Golden Manual
FightingBack
♀ Member
Member # 34770
Default  Posted: 2:17 PM, February 14th (Friday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

How about a chapter on how to Compartmentalize?

We could quote George Castanza

"Remember, it's not a lie if YOU believe it"

"I never thought about her when I was with you, and I never thought about you when I was with her".

"I didn't' want to think about consequences"


Me 53
WH 58
Married 25 years
4 children S30,D24, S23,S21
D-Day Nov. 29, 2011
15 year affair with married employee.
Together trying to make sense of it all!

Posts: 724 | Registered: Feb 2012
FightingBack
♀ Member
Member # 34770
Default  Posted: 6:52 PM, February 16th (Sunday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Bumping this so it doesn't get lost .


Me 53
WH 58
Married 25 years
4 children S30,D24, S23,S21
D-Day Nov. 29, 2011
15 year affair with married employee.
Together trying to make sense of it all!

Posts: 724 | Registered: Feb 2012
stillhere09
♀ Member
Member # 24924
Default  Posted: 7:17 PM, February 16th (Sunday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage


Let's not forget this one:
"Get over it!"

Another variation:
"Why can't you just get over it? I did."


Me-50 BW
Him-55,STBXWH

Walk a Mile In My Shoes
Married 14 yrs. Now Separated & in NC
2 grown DD's - his from previous M
4 grown kids (2DS, 2DD) mine from previous M


Posts: 3020 | Registered: Jul 2009 | From: Ohio
movingforward13
♀ Member
Member # 38405
Default  Posted: 7:33 PM, February 16th (Sunday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Chapter 20:
After your ex divorces you, find ways to keep fighting with them, even about the stupidest shit. Remember it is THEIR fault your life is shit now, not yours because of your cheating.

Bonus points if you can successfully delay them from moving on with their lives and start dating others.


We also need a chapter on Hoovering: What It Is and How to Successfully Do It.


Once a cheater, always a cheater happens when your cheater doesn't have remorse.
Regret is not remorse- know the difference!

Posts: 636 | Registered: Feb 2013 | From: DC
Lobo
♀ New Member
Member # 42456
Default  Posted: 8:09 PM, February 16th (Sunday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

"I can't remember."

"Yes, I did tell her that I loved her ... but only because it's what she wanted to hear."

Ugh, it's enough to make you spit.


Imagine a world where the words you speak appear on your skin. Would you be more careful of what you say?

Posts: 32 | Registered: Feb 2014 | From: Australia
Harriet
♀ Member
Member # 34543
Default  Posted: 2:49 AM, February 17th (Monday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

This manual has clearly been published already because my ex seems to have read it carefully.


D-Day Spring 2008
3 years false R
Divorce Final 6/7/12

Posts: 390 | Registered: Jan 2012 | From: California
selkiescot
♀ Member
Member # 23777
Default  Posted: 9:09 AM, February 17th (Monday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Widh there a like button on here LOL


The truth shall set you free or reveal the name of the OW!
ME 57
WH 64
DDAYs TOO MANY
daughter 27
You give me gifts! I don't want your gifts I want the truth. That's the greatest gift.

Posts: 1377 | Registered: Apr 2009 | From: CT
IrishLass518
♀ Member
Member # 34373
Default  Posted: 10:32 AM, February 17th (Monday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Please, please, please include the companion manual of "What to expect when you leave your spouse and children for the guttertrash/stripperwhore/HelloKitty/twatwaffle you have been cheating with"

This book should include the following chapters:

1. Don't forget to blame your ex spouse for everything that goes wrong in the future
2. You didn't want your BS as a babysitter but your AP isn't babysitting, they're your "twin flame"
3. You get to lose the respect of everyone around you and blame it on your ex
4. You get to constantly build up the AP to everyone around you and tell them all the reasons that the AP is so amazing.
5. You get to lose your spouse, kids, home, business, professional reputation and so much more.
But wait, there's more....

You get to spend your life wondering what the Hell happened to your life.


Me: 45 BS Divorced
Him: 45 Married OW
DDay: 07/04/2008
Divorced: 06/15/2011
5 kids: IrishLass 27,IrishLad 25, IrishLass 22, IrishLad 21 and IrishLad 12
"You can't run from trouble..there ain't no place that far"

Posts: 1677 | Registered: Jan 2012 | From: WA
cl131716
♀ Member
Member # 40699
Default  Posted: 11:58 AM, February 17th (Monday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

"Why can't you just get over it? I did."

Yep! I also got another variation. Something along the lines of...

"I think it's best to leave the past alone and just move forward. I had irrational thoughts (of me cheating) too but I realized you really do love me and would never do that to me. You should realize about me." WTF???


Me BS 31
Him WS 34 Trying4change
Together 3 years, married for one
D-day: 07/23/13 cybersex with COW
D-day: 12/27/13 found out he met and kissed a "friend" in 2011
"A clear and innocent conscience fears nothing."

Posts: 935 | Registered: Sep 2013 | From: Oklahoma
beautytoashes5
♀ Member
Member # 41900
Default  Posted: 2:22 PM, February 17th (Monday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Chapter ?? I was in too deep to get out without you finding out
Chapter ??? She was probably lying about getting pregnant 3 times
Chapter ???? Let's focus on the future, baby. I was never going to leave you for HER.
Chapter ????? I told her I loved her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings

So sad. It's all so sad.

Posts: 91 | Registered: Jan 2014 | From: Southern California
Shonsal
♀ New Member
Member # 42427
Default  Posted: 2:30 PM, February 17th (Monday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

How about the 'it was stupid and I don't know what I was thinking?' Well I think you did. At 38 you know about the birds and the bees and that lying and cheating on someone is wrong.

Or the 'but pictures and emails aren't cheating? I wasn't planning on meeting up with anyone'. Yeah I got nothing on that.

And the 'but she came onto me!'. You invited her to OUR HOUSE! While I was overseas! TWICE! *facepalm*


A: July 2012
WS: Him
OW: his best friend

Posts: 18 | Registered: Feb 2014 | From: Australia
Gemstone
♀ Member
Member # 42000
Default  Posted: 7:55 AM, March 7th (Friday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

OMG

Were you all there listening in on our conversations/fights/rows?

How else could you all possible know the things he said !!!!!!


Posts: 97 | Registered: Jan 2014 | From: United Kindgdon
FightingBack
♀ Member
Member # 34770
Default  Posted: 8:16 AM, March 7th (Friday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

"Yes, I did tell her that I loved her ... but only because it's what she wanted to hear."

And I thought this was an original line and was actually true!!!


Me 53
WH 58
Married 25 years
4 children S30,D24, S23,S21
D-Day Nov. 29, 2011
15 year affair with married employee.
Together trying to make sense of it all!

Posts: 724 | Registered: Feb 2012
IsthereEVERanend
♂ Member
Member # 42216
Default  Posted: 8:20 AM, March 7th (Friday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I thought that book was closed.....


Me: Older than dirt
FWW 63
DD 8/1990 She confessed to a 2 month ea/pa
Asked forgiveness but volunteered to leave. No way was I going to give her the boot

The eight most feared words used together in the English language: We need to talk. Th


Posts: 88 | Registered: Jan 2014 | From: Utah
stunnedin12
♀ Member
Member # 38141
Default  Posted: 8:46 AM, March 7th (Friday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Am I the only one whose wh had the magic phone? The one that texted chickie all on its own?

How about,

"You'd like chickie, she's just like you"


ME - Betrayed Spouse
Him - Wayward spouse
Not sure, but trying I guess.

Posts: 435 | Registered: Jan 2013
hear-me-roar
♀ Member
Member # 17962
Default  Posted: 9:25 AM, March 7th (Friday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I could probably add several. Two stand out (in piss-off order):

"We had PARAMETERS"

"It was not going to affect you because you were not supposed to find out"

I am so happy that they had such consideration of my feelings to establish "parameters". Bullcrap runs deep in a small pasture.


Posts: 77 | Registered: Jan 2008
WastedTime12
♀ Member
Member # 34767
Default  Posted: 10:29 PM, March 7th (Friday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I am not sure which chapter this belongs in but I got a text from him when I asked why he contacted stripper again. The text said "the only reason I contacted her was because I was contemplating that no contact thing" I really think we need a flat out crazy, makes no sense chapter.


Life is meant to be lived, not numbed!

In his quest for freedom, he set me free!


Posts: 74 | Registered: Feb 2012 | From: Dallas, TX
gonnabe2016
♀ Member
Member # 34823
Default  Posted: 10:53 PM, March 7th (Friday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Oh, a Cheater Handbook that includes a chapter or an appendix of "don't even TRY to make sense of this because it is TOTALLY crazy and outside the realm of ANY reasonable person's thought process" is a total must-have.


"Oh, what a tangled web we weave when first we practice to deceive." - Sir Walter Scott

In my effort to be *concise*, I often come off as blunt and harsh. Sorry, don't mean to be offensive.


Posts: 7706 | Registered: Feb 2012 | From: Midwest
WastedTime12
♀ Member
Member # 34767
Default  Posted: 11:00 PM, March 7th (Friday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

T/j, Gonna, will you try to pm me. Not sure why I can not pm. Think I am doing something wrong or ?


Life is meant to be lived, not numbed!

In his quest for freedom, he set me free!


Posts: 74 | Registered: Feb 2012 | From: Dallas, TX
Dadto4girls
♂ New Member
Member # 42517
Default  Posted: 1:27 AM, March 9th (Sunday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

What about I am a selfish narcissistic asshole who just doesn't get it.thats coming from a FWS

Posts: 2 | Registered: Feb 2014 | From: Australia
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